I am late 30s. I have a 3 year old. When I was five months pregnant my partner left me. He didn’t see our daughter until she was 14 months. I had to chase him to pay via cms. I was understandably very distressed by all of this, I struggled to cope with my pregnancy as I never planned on doing it alone and it was horrendous giving birth and taking my baby home without their father.
My parents know that ex sees dd once a week since he met her when she was 14 months. He has chosen not to have her to stay over (though does live a considerable distance so it wouldn’t be easy at the moment). Last week my dad said he thought it was shame we didn’t all integrate together and that I don’t want ex to be present with them (my parents) even though I am sometimes with dd with ex. I was appalled he said this and was immediately defensive, asking why he would want to be around a man who did that to me and why would I want that? He said what about birthday parties in the future and I said ex can celebrate with her and I will always ensure she has a party with me and my parents. My dad said dd would question that when she grew up and I said it was entirely reasonable for me to have this boundary that I don’t want my parents and ex spending time together. I was extremely upset and called him an awful father to expect this of me and that I didn’t really have any idea why he would even want that after this man did what he did to me.
we haven’t spoken now for a week. I have been horrendously upset by it all and although I am usually quick to want to sort out any conflict, I can’t face even speaking to them after this. I haven’t heard from them. Aibu?
please be kind (even if honest!) with responses as I am very fragile.