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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wish I’d known how miserable it is parenting alone (not a single parent)

134 replies

iwishihadknownthis · 29/01/2025 18:26

But a husband who is at work more then he isn’t; basically because of his work hours I am responsible for getting us up and out in the morning and I am responsible for getting them to bed in the evening.

I know I’m going to get a load of suggestions and that’s not what I’m about. I’m just so worn down with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
iwishihadknownthis · 29/01/2025 18:39

I work three days a week. To be honest I’m unsure which is hardest at the moment. I think a big thing is when I’ve had a tough day at work I then have to manage two children alone. At the moment one has a cold and one has an ear infection; one isn’t sleeping (so I’m not sleeping) and the other is cranky and grumpy. And sorting them both alone at the toughest time of the day when they’re both tired is so so hard.

OP posts:
Favouritefruits · 29/01/2025 18:35

It’s crap! My husband works away a lot of the time, I do everything I’m so busy but get really lonely as I’m doing everything alone! Do you work or are you a SAHP? It’s tough and I can’t offer you any advice but you are definitely not alone!

HaggardyOldSkin · 29/01/2025 18:34

I’ve been there and it’s very hard. Yes of course it’s better than having no partner as you have shared finances and someone to share worries with and hopefully someone around at the weekend and at nighttime but it is tiring doing all the childcare alone when they’re that age as well as all the household shit and the admin etc.

Original poster
iwishihadknownthis · 29/01/2025 18:32

I have two children @Comedycook

They are nursery age and while mornings are stressful it’s the evenings that are utterly shit to be honest.

@neverbeenskiing the problem is you end up having to justify everything and then people get arsey because you are ignoring helpful advice.

OP posts:
NoTouch · 29/01/2025 18:31

If you are doing that every day as well as, I assume, a FT job then it would be miserable. Something needs to change for all your sakes, which will mean compromises and perhaps sacrifices.

Heidi2018 · 29/01/2025 18:31

neverbeenskiing · 29/01/2025 18:29

YANBU, it does sound shit.

But I think being completely resistant to suggestions is a bit U though to be honest. There will be women on here who have been where you are and found a way to change their situation. There will be some who are still in that situation, and some who have no experience but may still have something useful to say. Maybe hear them out? It can't make things worse can it?

Sometimes people don't want to hear suggestions, they just want to felt seen and heard about something that's tough for them.

neverbeenskiing · 29/01/2025 18:29

YANBU, it does sound shit.

But I think being completely resistant to suggestions is a bit U though to be honest. There will be women on here who have been where you are and found a way to change their situation. There will be some who are still in that situation, and some who have no experience but may still have something useful to say. Maybe hear them out? It can't make things worse can it?

Comedycook · 29/01/2025 18:28

How many DC do you have? And do you work or are you a sahm? Getting kids up and to school is generally not done by both parents at the same time.

Heidi2018 · 29/01/2025 18:28

It's so tough!! Is there any hope of a reduction of his working hours in the future?