MIL and disregarding boundaries

Why are you tolerating this?

He's more scared of her than you.
I would change that pronto, until he bucks up and stands up to her.
Do absolutely nothing for him.
Take to your bed.
Go out.
Start being rude.

You married a man child tosser...what did you expect.
Big mistake.

Answer the door naked and say "told you we had plans" and close the door.

Dropping by isn't an emergency. Neither is letting yourself in when your are out. Take her key back if she's going to use it for non emergencies.

Since she lives an hour away, it's not much use for emergencies.

Change the locks. Give a spare key to someone local (whom you trust) if you want.

Longer term, if you want them still staying there while you're away, set up a key lock box to which they must return the key after use. If she gets a spare key cut for herself, change the locks again and never let her have the new key.

I mean, you obviously need your husband to grow a spine too, but that might take some time. If you can just persuade him not to open the door this weekend you've made a start.

you don't have a MIL problem, you have a DH problem.

You could say Sorry MIL but we're busy all day Sunday so we won't be able to see you if you come then and it will be a wasted journey for you. Please bring the things round on Wednesday morning as we suggested. You don't have to explain that you will be busy relaxing.

Just be rude and firm with her, if she doesn't like you what did you really lose? Your husband clearly doesn't care about your feelings so don't place his above your own. She needs to be put in her place before the baby arrive else she is going to be a nightmare.

Really feel for you OP, she sounds insufferable and more so as your DH is a wet blanket!

I would probably send something like:

MIL, as Ive explained we are not accepting any visitors, with what you know we have been through to get to where we are now I would appreciate your understanding in why this weekend is a non negotiable- we need our last weekend before the baby arrives to ourselves to recoup. I don’t wish for you to have a wasted journey, but if you insist on dropping off x item you may leave it at the door and we’ll get it when we’re ready.

If possible I’d send it as a group message so youre showing DH is onboard with what you’re saying.

Yep take key back or change locks. I honestly think being polite to pushy people is pointless, there is no pain free way of dealing with them except complete capitulation to their wants. It is your home not hers put a chain on the door so she can't let herself in until locks changed.

Change the locks and tell her after.

or be in on sunday, meet her at the door and remove her key then shut the door.

Change the locks as a new baby gift to yourself.

Change the lock & be out on Sunday.

I second changing the locks - this is going to be a major problem for you once the baby is here - you need to have a very serious conversation with your DH about whether he is a son, or a husband and father

Second this^

Change the locks!

Why the fuck does she have a key?

depends on the past history......in this case I'd say probably yes. I think OP that you are a bit late starting with the husband training but its never too late. Foot down and start now or you will end up with a Mil in the delivery room.

it's always a 5/6hr visit so yes, it is awful

Not seeing the drama here either. She wants to drop something off. You've told her you have plans. She probably thinks you'll be out.
If I needed to drop things off then I'd do it when it suited me and leave things at the door if they weren't in.
I have a MIL problem but even I think you are being weird and precious. It's not overstepping. Just don't answer the door.

'Ah, that's a shame, we would have liked to have seen you if you're driving that far. Never mind, if it can't wait until the date we suggested, feel free to drop it outside the door. Hope you have a nice weekend.' Then sit on your husband if you have to...they both need to learn the meaning of boundaries.

My mum used to be like this, she wanted what she wanted. The best message I sent was 'What part of NO are you not understanding' it stopped my mum in her tracks, so I used it every time after. I certainly wouldnt lie and say you are out because you know she will turn up anyway (husband probably told her you are both home.)

Let him drive to her its his mum. There will be push back from her and husband because as previous poster said her happiness is more important than yours. Stand your ground on this and send a curt txt back, she doesnt care about your feelings, stop pussy footing around hers.
You are allowing her to trample all over you, it is a pissing competition. Enmeshment will only get worse and in time the children will become enmeshed.

Make sure you are out. She was warned!