I’m a FTM to a lovely almost five month old baby boy.
I’m really struggling with the amount of unsolicited advice I’m receiving from both my parents and my in-laws. Every time I see them I get comments about everything under the sun, but mainly about DS’s sleeping and naps. Things like “you just need to put him down”, “crying is good for his lungs”, “you’re spoiling him” (by contact napping, as this is currently the only way he will sleep during the day…trust me, I’ve tried), “why don’t you just put him in his room and see what happens”, and “he should be in his own room” etc etc.
I think it comes from a good place (maybe they think it’s helpful?), but it is starting to really stress me out and make me dread seeing either set of parents to be honest. His sleep is not something I’m worried about so I don’t know why they feel the need to comment at all, let alone repeatedly. DS usually sleeps through the night and has a couple of naps on me or DH or in his buggy during the day. We don’t mind. He’s only four months old and if that’s what he needs to nap at the moment, it doesn’t bother us at all. He’s only little once. Sleep training is not something I’m comfortable with, let alone just leaving him alone to cry.
My usual approach is to say something non committal like hmm maybe. Then just ignore them and hope they get the hint and stop. But the problem is they don’t seem to be getting the hint. I’ve even tried to gently explain why we’re doing what we’re doing (we want to create a secure attachment, SIDS guidelines etc) but the response was oh well see how well that works when he’s 4. But he’s not 4, he’s 4 months old…
There’s been a lot of other “advice” too that honestly I think is dangerous, like we should put whiskey on his gums to help teething, give him an ice block to chew on and so on. Then there’s the comments that are just irritating, like “he doesn’t look tired to me” when we’re trying to get him to nap (he definitely was tired).
Am I being unreasonable (are they just trying to help)? How can I get them to stop or at least cut down on the amount of comments/advice… do I need to be more blunt? I just don’t want to hear it anymore :(