Is he entitled to be pissed off with me

You're in an abusive and controlling relationship yet you can't see it.

If you can’t see it for yourself, could you see it for your daughter?

Imagine your daughter having sex when she doesn’t want to, because otherwise she will have to endure nastiness and a bad atmosphere?

Imagine your daughter being forced to give oral sex if she wants access to the shared car?

Imagine your daughter being brainwashed into thinking she’s in love with her abuser, and not being able to see that it is abuse?

Imagine your daughter thinking that it’s not possible to leave, or get any sort of financial security because her husband won’t allow her to?

Imagine your daughter learning that sex is something that is given or owed to someone, rather than a pleasurable way of sharing true love with someone who respects them?

You are forcing all of this onto your children, or other peoples children if you have sons and they are learning this is normal.

I wish you would call women’s aid and speak to someone about whether this is ok or not.

Ewww what a prince.

This is such a sad read, you are honestly going to put up with this? He resents you being at home and sees sex as control over you and that you are lesser than him. Just another abusive man with a trapped woman

You are in an abusive, coercive relationship. Giving in to his demands when you don't want to do something is coercion. In the case of penetrative sex, it is rape. I know this as it happened to me. I didn't realise it whilst I was married either. It is likely that you are being abused in other ways too as the other forms of abuse usually accompany sexual abuse. Just because he doesn't hit you, doesn't make his behaviour acceptable.

"DH doesn't want me to do that (get a job) as we won't see each other."

Well really that's the least of your problems OP - you'd be better off seeing him as little as possible because there would be less time for him to treat you like his own personal sex toy.

He's not your boss. You can do what you want.

Your husband is a coercive rapist who doesn't care that you're not feeling well. He uses you like an object to have an orgasm whether you like it or not and if you refuse, he punishes you. That's not love.

That said, you shouldn't be driving when you're dizzy.

I did give in to him last night as I felt better. I know what people were saying with just do it when you want but I hate having a nasty atmosphere which isn't good for the kids either.

Having a dad who is a bully and coercive is ultimately worse for the children and will only enhance the nasty atmosphere.

OP I mean this with great kindness here but your marriage is over already and your husband is an abusive shit who basically would be a rapist if he couldn't coerce you into doing what he wants.

Please wake up to this. I recognise that you may not be ready to hear or act on it yet and may have to let it play out but there's a reason your instincts are screaming that this is all wrong. If it's not wrong for you at least acknowledge that its bad for your children.

Act on them. Seek help, start to make plans. Time to plan your exit.

Your idea of love is warped. He's sexually assaulting you.

Please look up 'trauma bonding', it sounds like that's what's happening.

Why do you think a kicked puppy still wags their tail at their owner? They're trying to be 'good' so that they don't get punished again.

Would you like your daughter to have a husband like yours?

What do you think love is op? Can you articulate it?

Of course he doesn't want you working evenings or weekends - he would have to parent his own children
and there would be less time for you to give in to his sex demands

“DH doesn't want me to do that as we won't see eachother.”

And why does he get to decide what you do? It’s your decision.

“I did give in to him last night as I felt better. I know what people were saying with just do it when you want but I hate having a nasty atmosphere”

He’s using coercive control whereby he creates a nasty atmosphere when you refuse, to the point where you now choose to give in and do it rather than endure his creating of a bad atmosphere. This is abuse!

I'm so sad for you op. It's clear that you feel trapped with this abusive pig of a man. A child with Sen, being a sahm, he's got you trapped.
Please read the thread and I hope that you come back asking how to leave him.
This is abuse, even if you aren't ready to hear that.

My sisters ex used to do that to her.....that's why he's her ex now, awful behaviour from him

Hopefully the comments on here will eventually filter through to her. Either way, I think she will wake up eventually and know she can’t go on with this vile man

I think the op knows it’s not ok. But she is choosing this rather than leaving.

the utter humiliation and degradation of being treated like a prostitute op will eventually wear you down.

This is one of the most disturbing threads I’ve read on here. So sad.

I just don't understand how you think this is ok, what sort of example does this set for your children, whilst they won't know about the sexual stuff, his behaviour towards you is awful. He is not a good man, bad people do not just portray their bad traits constantly, doesn't mean they are nice, kind people. A kind person would NEVER behave like he does.

100% this. Really sad to read, extremely abusive.

My God he is sexually abusing you.

Do you have daughters? How would you respond if your dd told you she had to do something sexual every day or her partner would make her life miserable

I'm amazed you aren't utterly repelled by him.

You need to seek help. You need to tell him doesn't get to dictate to you your sec life and when abd what you can discuss with him.

I'm sorry but I can't see this marriage lasting.

Your update is unbelievably worrying and so depressing @Tootiredmummyof3.

I want to shake you to make you see.

apart from where sex is concerned he is usually kind

No. No he isn't.

Seriously, if someone said to you 'Apart from the fact that he's a rapist, he's a nice guy' what would you think? Because that is what you've just said.

He might not physically force you, but if you have sex of any kind with him because he is nasty to you or creates a bad atmosphere or becomes angry if you don't, then that is is coercion. He's forcing you to have sex with him by making your life hell if you don't.

He is incredibly generous

No. No he isn't. He tells you that you're not even entitled to use the car without his permission simply because he paid for it. That is not the behaviour of a generous man.

He is abusing you. He is controlling you financially and sexually and he is a fucking danger. Jesus H Christ, you surely cannot believe this is normal or acceptable? These aren't minor niggles, OP. This is serious abuse.