DH wants me to go part time at work …

Exactly, plus if he’s the higher earner it’s more tex efficient for him to pay the max into his pension and use OP’s money to live off.

I am a working parent 🤔

You wouldn't though because you can force a pension sharing agreement if you split.

Yes if they make idiotic statements about working parents !

Jump at the chance. They're only little for a short while.

He would also receive tax relief on any contributions

i think it depends on your view of FT. In my job FT is not 35-40 hours a week it’s 50-60. Same for my DH.

So anyone whose opinion differs from your own is an idiot?

Finally, sensibility.

You mentioned a gender divide, not me. I said outsourcing childcare. I don’t consider a child looked after by a parent (whichever parent that may be) to be outsourcing childcare. Who works and who cares for the children is irrelevant.

Both dropping to 4 days is a good compromise. Husband earns over double what I do and we do 4 days each. It's about the long game as well and keeping both careers going rather than just the immediate short term.

I’ve previously worked school hours and hated it. It’s harder than working full time in my experience as it is relentless. I now work 4 days and love it, time with the kids but also a bit of time alone.

Thanks for your observation strawberrycrumbles. I was on MN on my way to work in the public transport. I'm shocked with my misspellings :-)

The point of my message was that it is actually possible. The OPs husband is on 70K and I can tell you from my experience that some of my male colleagues DONT ever ask for flexibility and concentrate in their career while trying to have a wife at home facilitating this. But if their wives don't take any shit, they do ask for flexibility and guess what...they generally get it.
All my female colleagues have some flexibility arrangement because they don't expect a man accommodating them.
I'm talking about people mean and women with the same pay.
It's time to make a change. We need to stop accomodating men.

It’s not that it’s not welcome, it’s just fairly dismissive.

I don’t buy into the idea that only people who have birthed a child are entitled to opinions, and not all step parenting situations are made equal!

Without getting into complex personal circumstances too much, somebody in my house could really do with not working full time, and neither of us would consider it.

If it helps at all, all of the “real” parents I know also work full time.

Unfortunately there are always some idiots posting comments like that. I usually find it’s because they or their DC’s have not had the opportunities in life that other children have had.

Agree. That's what we did here except I went back when they were at primary.
You could also request flexible home working so you find it easier to pick up at 6pm a few days a week.

Yes you did but I think that’s a step-child? I wouldnt sacrifice my career for a step child either. I just don’t think you can say confidently what you would do unless you’ve had the child as a baby and beyond. I’m sorry if that opinion isn’t welcome.

I went back to work when my ds was 7 months old (basically when maternity and accrued holiday pay ran out) and didn't regret it. It wasn't always easy but it wouldn't have been easy if I hadn't had a child, either, Jobs are hard.

I have regretted working in certain jobs, but not because of the childcare angle.

I've also always been the main breadwinner. Even working part-time I've always out-earned DH.

I went part-time when ds was about 9.

@Spotifly
Here’s what I said earlier:

In our case - he’s 8. Private nursery until school, breakfast club/wraparound and the occasional grandad pick up. We do have the benefit of WFH and my boss is really flexible.

I’ve always been the “breadwinner” in my relationships, and I’m very proud of that, so that may lead into why I wouldn’t take a drop at all. I’d also want to be contributing at least the same to the “pot,” as a minimum. Anything else would make me feel financially reliant on a man, and I cannot 😂.

I’d imagine it can be picked up later, my worry would be that being out of it for any length of time, even if it was short term or part time, would put me at a disadvantage later.

Selfishly perhaps, I’d also rather do it now and retire early than go back to a career later!

Most men who become parents work full time, should they have not had a family?

Also do you actually have children? As I would have said the same as you until I got pregnant and had babies and realised how precious that time is.

Well then we are different, because I am happy to sacrifice a higher ‘individual’ salary to spend more time with my children who are very young. My husband contributes more with his FT salary so I don’t really lose out in real terms.

Wouldnt you say you can just pick career progression up again when your children are older? I plan to increase hours again at some point. Although I also know plenty of women in my organisation working part time 4 days who have been promoted.

I don’t think I’d even do that. I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my own career development or individual earnings, in any way.

That may be because it’s not the “done thing” in people I know, but I personally couldn’t sacrifice that.

I think if I didn’t like the job I have now, I’d still be looking for another full time one.

Why though?

They are both stressed.

OP is a supportive husband.

They can afford it.

OP keeps her foot in the door and can go back to full time when the kids are older 🤷‍♀️