Why is he not in school

That is again a judgement from OP. It could be factual or it could be OPs interpretation, so if the OP genuinely believes there are grounds to be concerned about safeguarding she should report it relevantly so the family can receive support.

she said the mother is not germophobe doesn't go anywhere

Well yes I do think this would be sensible to investigate the reason why, but there are a lot of times where DS and I don't surface for a while because we are both autistic and we have everything that makes us happy and comfortable at home.

I only have 1 child, but if I had 2 I'd place more effort into making sure the one that could become thrown off by changes to the environment was regulated as it would make meeting both childrens needs easier.

Obviously I don't know if that's the reason why this woman doesn't take her children out, equally nor do I know if OP is using the word never as hyperbole for infrequently or whether she genuinely feels that there are some legitimate safeguarding concerns that need to be addressed. If it's the latter then OP isn't the person to be finding out, but she should report it as a safeguarding concern so it can be investigated by the right team.

id be more worried about them never going out than school cant be any good for their health

The plan is sent to the schools and they can say they are unable to meet the child's needs and not accept him. Special schools are full so many are waiting around for a space.

Not quite. Unless the school is wholly independent, the LA must name the parent’s preferred school unless the LA can prove:
-The setting is unsuitable for the age, ability, aptitude or special educational needs (“SEN”) of the child or young person; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the provision of efficient education for others; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the efficient use of resources.

When consulted, schools can object, but unless they are wholly independent, they can, and must unless one of the above can be proven, be named even if they object. If the school is named in the EHCP, they must admit and can be forced to via judicial review if they try not to.

Being full is not defined in law, and on its own being ‘full’ is not enough of a reason to refuse to name the parental preference. The LA has to prove the school is so full admitting DC is incompatible. Which is a higher bar than many LAs and schools admit.

Although this doesn’t stop LAs from trying to refuse and forcing parents to appeal.

Unfortunately there are too many children with additional needs with no school place. If a child has an EHCP they aren't allocated a place like other children. The plan is sent to the schools and they can say they are unable to meet the child's needs and not accept him. Special schools are full so many are waiting around for a space.

My autistic 8 year old isn't in school. Hasn't been since September 23. Not through lack of trying. He's known to physically harm staff as well as escape school grounds. Plus various other behaviours.

Our la has yet to find a suitable school. He's verbal but displays very challenging behaviours and absconds. His ehcp says special school but also states 6 hours of 1:1 a day.

He is challenging and because of this I don't allow anyone to care for him. I quite frankly trust no one to keep him safe. He can bolt quickly and he will hide. When he's with me at home I have cameras in side and out that will alert if he gets out and overall I know he's safe.

I don't take him out much either. We go to our weekly swim lesson that he enjoys so he's manageable. But other than that I will not take him out unless I have another adult with me as i recognise just a trip to a supermarket can be overwhelming for him and make him distressed. So the assistance could be needed.

I'm a disabled person born to a disabled and autistic mother... I BEGGED for siblings. It was just me and my mam and while my mother was amazing (more than could be asked for) its lonely not having extended family and watching the little you have pass away leaving you behind.

The most precious thing you can have is a family, thats why I made it my life priority to have one and to give my kids siblings.

My oldest is autistic and is no bother literally the easiest kid ever, my youngest maybe autistic, barely verbal and also no bother most the time (odd melt down when told no but most is happy). My middle child who is NOT autistic is bloody hard work however.

I know another woman with a high needs autistic DS who is nothing like my two and will never progress past needing full time care.

It can be wildly different (there is not a lump of 'autistic kids/parents' where you can say they 'shouldn't have more'. Also the mother has NOT said she can't cope, OP has applied that from having zero knowledge of SEN) but that doesn't mean that she nor her DS deserves to have the love of a family.

My non verbal severely autistic 17 year old isn't in school or college because there isn't one that is suitable. He had no education last term and is only getting something now because I took the LA to court.

This.

And many of them end up traumatised by the experience.

THIS!!!!!!!!!!

This is a disgusting comment. You know nothing of @x2boys or her DS. Not all autistic individuals are the same. Speech and language therapy is about far more than verbally being able to speak. For a start, good SALT includes the things you mention like a communication board and AAC.

Oh please with the whole ‘I’m not being judgemental’, faux wide eyed nonsense. You can’t just plonk a non verbal autistic child in mainstream school just because ‘kids are meant to be in school’.

The mainstream system as a whole is completely unfit for ND children, even those without a learning disability. I’d say even worse for the latter, because instead of recognising from the start just how much support a verbal autistic child with learning capacity needs in every other area. My son with global delays has had high intervention since nursery (his second one, the first was horrendous), my other son who some may (wrongly) call ‘high functioning’ has been treated awfully because he can’t socially fit into the classroom environment leading to some awful meltdowns.

I also don’t take my children to the supermarket, because I’m a good parent to my SEN children. I know that the environment is completely triggering for them. Their wellbeing is my priority, but I also know that neither I nor the other shoppers need a child screaming blue murder because he just wants to sit in the fresh produce aisle poking the vegetables.

FranticFractions, I think you need to leave it there. I'm assuming that your autism may make you unaware how rude and unhelpful your comments sound.

Haven't bothered?
You know Jack shit about what I have tried not tried, dont be so rude and ignorant .

Theres no point trying to educate people like you. You already think you know it all. You make it sound like give your child a keyboard and crack on! You have zero idea what it takes to implement an alterative communication method. I don't think you even understand the options tbh. There's far more than spelling and speech. You also have no understanding of how severe learning difficulties also affect autism. Don't judge what you don't understand.

We've been using an alternative communication method for 10 years, all day everyday. You have no idea the challenges we deal with.

Not all of them, just like not all verbal people can spell. Can you tell me what I'm ignorant about? Are you aware of the differences between fine and gross motor skills and why speaking is impossible but spelling possible? Do you think it's fine to leave people trapped in their own heads not being understood by anyone, when they are fully capable of communicating?

Pregnancy is possible every time you have sex. There's no telling if this was planned or not so its unfair to suggest that she's randomly 'popping out' kids without any thought (I also not there's no judgement if the dad in your posts, just the mum).

Again, there's no basis for you to think that a loving and caring Mother isn't doing her best regarding education, whether that's making the choice to defer him, to home educate or to fight for space at a suitable school. You have no idea, so your post was just made up nonsense.

The kid is autistic and non-verbal. The chances are he won't make friends and won't want other children to play with. School is HARD on autistic children (I have one who is luckily verbal). She may have decided he shouldn't start until he is actually 5 or maybe she will home educate. My DD would rarely if ever leave the house if left to her own devices!

There really isn't he presents very much like s toddler.

You are so ignorant I don't know where to begin.

You know nothing about non verbal children so don't give advice. Spelling? You think they can all spell?! You also seem to think speech therapy is only about verbal speech.

.

I agree, if he has the right school it will definitely help, early intervention is the key. I'd be concerned too x