Asking for cash for a birthday present instead of physical gifts

This is why it is rubbish having a January birthday - you get regifted junk.

I think it is a great idea. I would stick a tenner in the card and put aside the gift for the next birthday.

I wish I had the courage in reception to just say "Let's all do no presents and £5 at most in a card for birthdays" on the class WhatsApp group. I would have saved so much time and money, and I'm sure most of the gifts aren't used.

It’s so rude. It’s very entitled and doesn’t understand that not everyone has a big budget for gifts. Also miserable for the birthday kids. Bet a young lad is not on board with getting no gifts. Just ignore the rude Dad and give whatever you would have given before.

Unlike if you give the child an actual present when the parents might decide it's plastic tat and regift it to the next child with a party?

The amount of plastic tat bought is crazy! Personally, I’d have insisted people please didn’t gift but if they absolute must, a card and money to go towards something (give an example) or an experience would be appreciated.

It’s like everything these days, people feel the need to gift and put zero thought into it. The number of photo frames I got as a wedding gift despite asking people not to gift was insane. It’s the same at baby showers with the stuff you’ll never use. Buy a book if you have to buy something! Something thoughtful!

I always put thought into gifts and usually gift experiences or give vouchers for something I know they want to do or somewhere they want to go but you might not do that for 30+ 8 year olds in the classroom so I don’t see a problem with this set of parents request.

It's still a bit cheeky though isn't it. I'd bet they'd be gossiping too if u turned up with nothing, even though they've worded it as though they don't expect or mind.

My kids have parties every year and I'd never send that message even though cash wld be my preference. We have a ridiculous amount of "stuff". My kids though wld probably prefer the presents.

We had some gift cards and cash at my recent 5yr olds party. Mostly it seems to be £10-£20. My 5yr old got 2 x £10 and 2 x £20 gift cards. It puts pressure on some parents who maybe can't afford £10 but wouldn't want to give less if it's cash.

I like to do a bit of both I often give £10 cash and then a gift at £5-10. As they get older though it will be just be cash I think.

Thanks for telling me it's the norm to give a present when invited for a birthday, I had no idea.
It is rude to invite someone and say X wants money though. If asked you can state a preference but you should wait until asked. You don't know if someone might have financial problems and maybe will regift sometimes her dc doesn't want. I know one mum who always did this because she just couldn't afford to put 10£ in an enveloppe every time. And 10£ is the minimum you can put or your child will be embarrassed because most put 15£, some 10 or 20£. I even offered to this mum to get a gift from her dc myself but she had too much pride.

So yes for me cash gift is easy but for others this can be problematic..

What a nob. As others have said, the presents may have already been bought. But also his son will be going to his friends’ parties and seeing that he is the only one who isn’t given gifts.

I’m happy with cash for a wedding, but it does depend on how it’s worded, so cringe-making ‘poems’ are a complete no-no as far as I’m concerned.

The last couple we gave cash to, explained that their flat was very small and they already had everything they needed, but if we’d like to contribute to their honeymoon they’d be very grateful.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d much rather stick cash in a card than rack my brains for something they might like - but very likely won’t.

We've got to stop buying stuff. Most parents in the parties my GC go to, put money in a card. His message has probably come off the back of someone asking what can they get. MN is weird about this, if it's put in the invitation it's cringe/grabby etc. In RL most people breathe a sigh if relief at not having to find something to buy.

@arcticpandas it's the norm to give something if attending a party in the UK. So perfectly polite to statd a preference.

We all need to buy less stuff. I think it's fine.

I love being asked for cash instead of gifts. It saves me thinking about what they might like, wondering whether they might already have whatever I've bought, wasting money on cheap crap etc. Much better to give money they can save towards something bigger and better.

He didn't word it very nicely, said it too late and it seems a bit uncomfortable but society needs to evolve away from how we currently do gifts so it's kind of cool he just stated this. Two left socks' comment about the same tenner made me LOL. By the way we should all stop buying other people's kids toys that take batteries. Usually noisy, always plastic and always need new batteries.

It's not worded beautifully but it's fine.

They probably swamped with presents from Xmas and want to spread it out. My eldest had a large class party and I had to store some of the presents in the car in the end.

They probably have been asked lots of times by other parents of invited kids!
Yeah it's a clumsy way of doing it but I don't see it as rude

I really dont think it's OK to ask for cash for a wedding.
Again if a guest approaches and asks for ideas then cash can be suggested, but in an invite with that crass poem that does the rounds?! Nope!

As someone who uses credit very responsibly and almost 100% exclusively- I think a cash only edict is ridiculous, as I'm sure many others do for the same reason.

I'd get them the loudest, largest most cumbersome mugs eyeful gift I could find.

I wouldn’t for a kid that age.
Parents might pocket it or dictate how it’s spent

I would have no problem with that message, and if I had already bought a gift (which I wouldn't have as I'm very last minute) I would just stick the present I'd bought in a drawer ready for the next party.

just cash if you'd like to give a gift

It was a suggestion for people who would feel uncomfortable giving nothing.

It's not a demand, it could have been a bit more sweet to avoid anyone being offended.

I personally wouldn't be offended..

It's rude.
If they don't want more 'stuff', which makes a lot of sense, why not say PLEASE no presents, but if you'd like to give something, donate small amount to a charity of your choice.

I personally much prefer giving cash as it’s quick and easy and I don’t need to wrap it or listen to my child whinging about how they want whatever I’ve bought for birthday child.

I’d breathe a sigh of relief seeing that on an invite but I do understand that some people prefer gifts or have a little stash of stuff to give from. When the kids were small we had some tight times financially and I could regift something we’d had a duplicate of.

I mean he could have said "We value your child attending the party, more than getting a gift. If you would still like to give something to the birthday boy then a small contribution to his savings would be nice. Thank you'.

It's Feb 2nd. Any kid having a party between now and April gets a regift from the unopened Chsitmas crap pile.

I always put a £10/15 in a card for birthdays. I've two kids and they get lots of presents on their birthdays from very kind people but half of it they don't want or need e.g. Barbies, dolls for my daughter who doesn't like dolls etc. I really hate waste and having the house coming down with more plastic things. I know it sounds ungrateful but we really are destroying our planet with so much plastic tat. My two love getting money or a voucher and the excitement of choosing what they want. They would be more than happy with a £5. If everyone gave a £5 it would be cheaper for the parents and kids could buy exactly what they want but it does sound cheeky to ask. So I agree with the father but he probably should have put that on the invite.