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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect my son to wash his hands when he gets in?

294 replies

Whyareyousoannoying · 28/01/2025 17:45

Ds 16yo has been at work or college, come home on public transport.

Aibu to expect him to wash his hands upon arriving home before he starts touching everything especially the fridge, food, cups etc. he will walk straight in and start going in the fridge making a drink not washing his hands.

When I ask him he shouts at me and calls me a germ phobe.

Everyone else in the house manages to wash their hands when they get in.

OP posts:
RomiStorm · 28/01/2025 20:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Whyareyousoannoying · 28/01/2025 20:41

ishdcocoa · 28/01/2025 20:37

Interesting…we wash our hands immediately when we get in and are always sick! Maybe we should stop? We do have a 6 year old and 2 year old at nursery though…

Well ds (the 16yo with questionable hygiene) is by far the sickliest one in the house.

Everyone else just washes their hands.

I expect often it's just down to luck. But washing your hands certainly isn't going to do any harm.

OP posts:
Purinea · 28/01/2025 20:40

It’s so odd to me to say someone is a Germaphobe, for washing their hands. Op isn’t enforcing a strict wash your hands every 15 minutes rule. It’s just like after you’ve been the toilet, before you prep food, When you come home, and if you blow your nose/sneeze. It really does show how dirty people are. As pp said the pandemic amazed me that people were shocked about the spread of germs and handwashing really did seem new to people. You can tell people are dirty when they say their hands don’t ‘feel’ dirty when they get home. That’s because they’re so used to the feeling of grub 😂😂

Motherrr · 28/01/2025 20:39

I agree that it's a good habit if you've been out - and I'm honestly very far from a germophobe. Never used to make the kids wash their hands after nursery until we all got worms :/ now everyone is made to wash their hands when we get in!

Original poster
Whyareyousoannoying · 28/01/2025 20:38

I've already explained numerous times that he came straight in while I was cooking and started touching the food, opening the fridge, opening the cupboards, handling the fruit and putting it back.

I'm not sure how much clearer I can be.

It's my business if he's handling food that everyone is going to eat.

OP posts:
Fizzygoo · 28/01/2025 20:37

Looks like most people don’t but I ask my kids to do so after coming back from school as I know they are about to eat… but they usually go straight to the loo anyway

ishdcocoa · 28/01/2025 20:37

Interesting…we wash our hands immediately when we get in and are always sick! Maybe we should stop? We do have a 6 year old and 2 year old at nursery though…

biscuitsandbooks · 28/01/2025 20:35

Whyareyousoannoying · 28/01/2025 20:30

So why then are we always advised to wash hands during an outbreak of illness? We are not advised to wash all our clothes.

Norovirus was going round the school. Public health advice was to wash hands frequently.

I feel like you are deliberately being goady when most people understand that there are reasons for handwashing.

Show quote history

I haven't actually said there aren't reasons for hand-washing. Of course it has plenty of benefits.

It's just not a hill I would choose to die on with a 16 year old. I also can't say I've ever paid any kind of attention to whether anyone I've lived with has washed their hands on coming home or not. I don't see it as any of my business.

Screamingabdabz · 28/01/2025 20:34

Ah so it’s not their fault they’re disgusting. They are just thick. They think if their hands ‘don’t look dirty’ then it’s ok. Jeez. And to think they walk among us and are ignorantly spreading viruses and bacteria.

Letstheriveranswer · 28/01/2025 20:34

I wash my hands when I get in, especially if I've been on public transport.

Your house, your rules....

GravyBoatWars · 28/01/2025 20:31

Of course YANBU to ask him to wash his hands before getting into things in the kitchen. Washing hands is the first step in doing anything in the kitchen, including pawing through the refrigerator and the cabinets.

I don't understand all the people saying YABU while adding "as long as he washes before food prep." When you're in the midst of cooking you are going to be opening and closing the refrigerator and cabinets and touching the worktop so of course you want the last people to have touched those surfaces to have washed their hands first. You're not asking him to take a damn bleach bath.

Sunbeam18 · 28/01/2025 20:31

Yeah, I was my hands whenever I get in, and also when I get to work

CoraPirbright · 28/01/2025 20:31

In the normal way of things, I wouldnt insist on this, no. However, with around 25% of the population ill at the moment and a very nasty flu and norovirus rampaging around I think it is sensible to wash your hands when coming in from public transport etc.

Original poster
Whyareyousoannoying · 28/01/2025 20:30

biscuitsandbooks · 28/01/2025 20:27

My clothes aren't covered in germs just because they've been outside.

Of course they are Confused

So why then are we always advised to wash hands during an outbreak of illness? We are not advised to wash all our clothes.

Norovirus was going round the school. Public health advice was to wash hands frequently.

I feel like you are deliberately being goady when most people understand that there are reasons for handwashing.

OP posts:
PeloMom · 28/01/2025 20:29

I sent everyone to the sink as soon as they/we enter the house from outside

WolfFoxHare · 28/01/2025 20:28

MumChp · 28/01/2025 17:56

Turns it into a must do. Even a 16 yo should understand that.

Show quote history

But that’s not the OP with the immunocompromised family member. Unless she’s had a name change fail.

biscuitsandbooks · 28/01/2025 20:27

My clothes aren't covered in germs just because they've been outside.

Of course they are Confused

booksandchocolate123 · 28/01/2025 20:27

No, it doesn't even take a minute of his time to do it. We all Wash our hands when we get home in my household :)

Original poster
Whyareyousoannoying · 28/01/2025 20:25

@biscuitsandbooks you're confusing touching surfaces with things just being outside.

I've already explained. My shoes coat and bag go in the cupboard.

My clothes aren't covered in germs just because they've been outside.

By your logic why even bother washing your hands Ayer using the toilet? Your clothes have been in the toilet with you after all.

Your hands are the things you touch everything with.

During the pandemic we were advised to wash our hands. We weren't advised to wash our clothes, bags and coats.

OP posts:
Louise121806 · 28/01/2025 20:22

You are not being unreasonable. It's basic hygiene. Pretty normal for teenagers to not be bothered though. I wash my hands as soon as I get in from work, and shopping etc. I'm genuinely shocked at the amount of adults that don't wash their hands before eating lunch at work. It's gross.

SovietSpy · 28/01/2025 20:20

Kebabbky · 28/01/2025 19:49

It’s no wonder that cases of Norovirus are still increasing when you read some of these responses. Basic hand hygiene stops the spread of a lot viruses.

absolutely this. I think Brits are actually pretty dirty people these days. Amount of people that sneeze into their hands, pick their mouths and noses, stink and never wash their hands 🤢 people on this thread boasting about only washing their hands when visibly dirty 🤢 wtf.
no wonder so many winter bugs and flus go round. Should be permanent public health campaigns to remind people to wash their hands.

Original poster
Whyareyousoannoying · 28/01/2025 20:20

I'm also not sure if some people struggle with reading comprehension but I've explained several times that ds was prepping food.

Yet people are still telling me I'm wrong yet saying they wash their hands before prepping food.

OP posts:
biscuitsandbooks · 28/01/2025 20:19

Whyareyousoannoying · 28/01/2025 20:12

@biscuitsandbooks obviously you can't keep everything sterile. I wouldn't even suggest you try.

But the whole point of handwashing is that you're touching everything with your hands as well as eating.

If you've been out all day in public places and then travelled home on public transport you're going to have touched a lot of surfaces.

You wash your hands before you eat, you don't wash your hair.

Yes, you've touched a lot of surfaces.

But you've also just come inside in clothes you've worn outside, do you then spend the rest of the day washing your hands every time you (for example) roll up your sleeves, or reach into your jeans pocket - because those surfaces are covered in the same germs you were worried about being all over your hands.

Do you also wash your hands after touching your phone that's also been outside and covered in germs? What about your handbag or your keys?

The logic just doesn't make sense to me.

Original poster
Whyareyousoannoying · 28/01/2025 20:19

Well some people will say I'm a germaphobe but if you look up the definition of germaphobe then that is not me.

I go about my daily life perfectly normally. I go to work, have children that I take to clubs, I go out to eat and socialise.

I just practice basic hand hygiene.

I reckon germaphobe is just an insult that people who are a bit unhygienic themselves use to excuse themselves.

OP posts:
BruFord · 28/01/2025 20:17

We wash our hands after coming into the house- I often need to remind my DS (16) to do it, but he doesn't make a fuss. I'd just keep insisting, OP.

Ds's school recently had a 'flu outbreak and loads of people got ill so he's well aware that school is a petri dish!

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