Can your husband cook without a big fuss?

My husband is an excellent and tidy cook but a very stressed one. Every meal he cooks is served with a side of stress, so I prefer to do the bulk of it.

Not that meal because he is not of European background and doesn’t do roasts or cake based baking. But he makes full dinners either different elements with no more or less mess than me.

He is conscientious about all household, domestic and family work and does his fair share under his own direction and initiative.

Oh sorry yes he also does all the cleaning of the kitchen, pot washing and dishwasher every meal time too.

Yes my dh does all the cooking, shopping and meal planning for every single meal for us all. This includes making separate versions for gluten free family member or doing everything gluten free from scratch, such as Yorkshire puds or bread or whatever. He also does baking now and then.

Yes. My DH cooks 3 or 4 nights a week. He can cook amazing food but sometimes he cooks “functional” food. It’s nutritious and edible but not necessarily created for enjoyment. He cleans the kitchen as he goes, and is somewhat sanctimonious about telling me I should do the same. 🤣

overall, I would give him an 8 out of 10 in the kitchen.

my cooking is all about the flavour but the kitchen is usually a disaster zone during and for an hour or two after, but I do come back and clean up later.

overall, I would give me an 8.5 in the kitchen.

He can if he needs to, (sticky toffee pudding probably not!) but under careful instruction. And he would tidy up 80%

@gannett never bothered me until we had kids.

DH is an excellent cook. I usually get to do the clearing up though.

One hour of washing up is still less work than four hours of cooking (and preferable to me). Maybe it's because DP does 99% of the cooking but I'm happy enough to be fed every day that I don't expect him to do it in optimally quick and efficient way as well. If you're cooking you get to do it exactly how you want, I think. And there's nothing wrong with being relaxed about it, taking more time over it and having a glass of wine if that makes it more pleasurable. Maybe you should try taking four hours like he does.

@Autther "Just because someone is a shit cook doesn't make them a shit man. There a plenty of things I am shit at that DH takes responsibility for. Doesn't make me a shit woman"

It makes you a shit man if you don't live entirely alone. And it definitely makes you a shit man if you do cook but leave a huge mess for someone else to clean up.

Incidentally, is there anything that needs to be done every day without fail that you're shit at and your DH takes responsibility for?

Cookbooks tell you what you should do but not necessarily how to master the technique necessary.

I can roughly chop stuff but if anything ever needs to be "finely chopped" that's a level of knife skills I don't possess. I've tried to copy Youtube videos but I do value my fingers so I gave up.

I've tried to knead dough and it's just a huge mess. I don't know why DP can control dough and make it do what he wants whereas when I try it sticks to my hands and the surface at the same time.

Also from observation a huge amount of "being good at cooking" is having the knowledge to substitute ingredients, increase or decrease cooking times based on intuition rather than recipe, and rescue dishes that are going wrong. I can follow a recipe like a robot but it rarely turns out all that well.

If you live by yourself, then by all means feed yourself out of tins. Live on tuna and pot noodles. But if you have children, being a 'shit cook' isn't an option. It's a parent's job to feed their children nutritious food, whether or not producing it is a source of enjoyment or annoyance. And, assuming your children have two parents, both parents need to be able to do this. It's fundamental.

I’m the main cook (I don’t work due to health problems) but my hubby does step in and help when he can. He works really long hours and rarely home before 8pm. He does cook at the weekends, his repertoire is limited but always edible and tasty 😋

@gannett I get what you mean but like if I cook a roast dinner it will take a couple of hours but during I'll be washing pots or loading dishwasher as I go. I'll also still be doing bits with /for kids or cleaning. Dh will do pots at end but there will b a couple trays maybe one pan and crockery . It will take about 20 mi utes to clean up.

If dh cooks a roast it literally takes him about four hours, he piles all the pots on the side for me to sort , he stays in the kitchen the whole time and if kids ask anything he's always just about to do something. And it will take me about a hour to clear up after him.

I feel he would be more considerate if he was doing the cleaning

Just because someone is a shit cook doesn't make them a shit man. There a plenty of things I am shit at that DH takes responsibility for. Doesn't make me a shit woman

So many shit men on threads like this. And so many women who put up with it.

It’s not just men! I’ve known women who ‘can’t cook’ - to me it almost always means ‘I CBA’. I feel like saying, ‘Oh, dear, can’t you read?’ - because anyone of normal intelligence who can read, could teach themselves with a basic book such as Delia’s.

Yes. I do most of the cooking because I’m home most, but on the day I’m at work and he’s home with our child he’ll happily cook and clean up along the way.

Yes he can.

Although I don't think either of us would bother with a sticky toffee pudding. But he can make a cake/biscuits/brownies, as well as main meals without it being a big deal. He cooks frequently, but not as much as I do because I genuinely like cooking whereas for him it's a bit more of something you just have to do rather than something actually enjoyable.

Yes, he can cook perfectly well - though my criticism would be that his meals are low on freshness and veg, he’s very meat and carb, and then gets a bit frustrated when the rest of us aren’t keen, but dc and I like vegetables and salad.

And he does all the cleaning up from cooking and loading dishwasher and general sorting of kitchen every night anyway, so mess isn’t an issue.

Performative cooking rather than everyday cooking can be quite a male trait.

But to be honest, most of the blokes I know, of all ages, can cater for a family or their partner or themselves. I only know 2 really who can't, my FIL who I think has made a sandwich once or twice but I'm fairly sure has never been shopping on his own. And one half of a male gay couple who just doesn't cook.

My grandad was in the Merchant Navy so had learned how to cook and sew. Frequently used to cook.

My dad was an excellent cook. Had quite a repertoire of both Indian and Caribbean dishes due to having friends in bith communities. In the late 60s he would ask West Indian women at Shepherds Bush market "What do i do with this?" and lots would give him tips.

My husband can microwave soup.

Sure there's nothing wrong with it, but 'hating cooking' is a luxury you can't afford if you have a family who will insist on being fed on a regular basis.

If you're a parent with young children, you need to cook. Whether or not you like it.

My husband does the main share of the cooking. He's very good at it too.

Nope. He is absolutely useless in the kitchen. He can produce a decent chilli con carne, can do stir fry and scrambled eggs (which he does in the microwave 😖). And that's it. And he's messy 🙄

But he is a whizz at DIY once he gets going, whereas I am clueless, so we each work to our strengths.