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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can your husband cook without a big fuss?

314 replies

Oyoh · 28/01/2025 15:08

For example could he make a roast dinner and sticky toffee puddding without trashing the kitchen, pestering you for help/asking where things were and without losing his cool?

OP posts:
TheLargestToblerone · 28/01/2025 15:50

Mine would probably manage to burn a boiled egg. But I like cooking and he does the majority of the household chores so this blindspot doesn't bother me. He's also far less messy in general than I am.

DustyMaiden · 28/01/2025 15:49

No chance. He can make brunch and freezer food.

Oceangrey · 28/01/2025 15:48

Yes, although I'm a better cook. He's not bad though.

SophiaSW1 · 28/01/2025 15:48

I wouldn't know

VodkaCola · 28/01/2025 15:48

Yes. I do the everyday healthy boring stuff.

He cooks fun stuff like Sunday roasts, Christmas dinner, spectacular puddings and cakes. He cooks whenever we have people round, as I tend to get in a flap. He also cooks sometimes if I'm really tired after work and really can't be arsed.

It actually works out quite well!

LuluBlakey1 · 28/01/2025 15:48

Yes. He loves cooking and if he makes a mess he cleans it up

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 28/01/2025 15:47

Yes. He's an excellent cook, loves cooking and is far tidier than me (in the kitchen and in general). He's also very unflappable when cooking complicated things or for lots of people. He always cooks when we have guests and at Christmas and enjoys making fancy things from scratch.

Lozzq · 28/01/2025 15:47

Yes, my husband cooks but it has taken a lot of training! 🤣

A few tips, my husband loves to BBQ, now we have bbq once a week even in winter.
It’s worth persevering, the only way to become better is practice. When he started I did not make myself readily available so he would figure it out. Also when he asks me for help, I would always ask him what he thought would be the right thing.
Im with you on the mess, DH uses 5 pans when 1 would do. We have a rule, one cooks and one cleans but I do like to point out that I clean as I go and he leaves a disaster.

Seaside31 · 28/01/2025 15:47

Starlight1984 · 28/01/2025 15:38

Same here.

I tend to think (and willing to be shot down here!) that GENERALLY (!) men prefer cooking as they can just throw stuff together and women prefer baking as it's more structured?!

If I'm cooking I tend to use a recipe / cookbook as I like to follow instructions, whereas DH will just do whatever comes into his head (occasionally he'll glance at the basics if he's doing something new). And annoyingly it always turns out really well! Whereas if I get one teaspoon of an ingredient wrong I start to panic 😂

Happy to be proven wrong and know that won't apply to all men and women before anyone comes for me! Just something I've observed 😊

@Starlight1984 Yeah definitely similar in our house 😊 DH is good and isn’t too experimental if young DC are also eating but if it’s just him and I sometimes he gets a bit wild flinging in stuff that he finds 😂

beezlebubnicky · 28/01/2025 15:47

Not particularly. He's not much of a cook and is severely dyslexic so following recipes can be tricky for obvious reasons. He just doesn't really enjoy it whereas I do.

He's ok at food shopping though, great at other housework like hoovering, stacking dishwasher after tea, and does all the laundry. I'd much rather cook as I am the better cook so it doesn't bother me.

That said, he does know enough to make a simple pasta dish, an omelette, veg and meat tray bake etc. So he can manage when I'm ill or laid up with an injury.

stayathomer · 28/01/2025 15:47

Dh is the better cook by miles, cooks when he’s home from work in time because otherwise my family would never get a decent meal but he does leave a huge mess and uses it as a reason as to why he shouldn’t clean up/ why he’s wrecked. He does all the eg Christmas cooking, Easter dinner etc. I’m so jealous!!!

Doje · 28/01/2025 15:46

He'd absolutely embrace it willingly. He'd trash the kitchen but would clean up afterwards with no fuss.

He'd probably buy the sticky toffee pudding. Doing both at the same time might be a step too far...

Hoochyvida · 28/01/2025 15:46

No my husband hates cooking. It stresses him out. I love it though so doesn't bother me.

My SiL and MIl hate cooking (not related to each other) but their husband's both love it.

I don't think it's a male/female thing. I think it's a person thing!

KimberleyClark · 28/01/2025 15:45

Yes my DH could.

PassingStranger · 28/01/2025 15:45

Yes he meal plans, shops and cooks.

WickWood · 28/01/2025 15:45

My partner does 100% of the cooking for us. I'm on maternity leave so obviously I do my own breakfast and lunch, but he cooks everything in an evening and on the weekend. The kitchen can be a mess during, but he always cleans up after himself.

Tagyoureit · 28/01/2025 15:44

A roast, yes, sticky toffee pudding, he would buy but then so would I.

Dh is good at following recipes to a tee whereas I can cook without recipes.

His new year resolution is to cook more as he does enjoy it so he's been doing Saturdays.

rosydreams · 28/01/2025 15:44

i wish he could cook, his idea of cooking jarred sauce ,mince and pasta .Stuff like that .Hes to lazy to learn any more and when i work evenings the kids have such limited choice =/

Grammarnut · 28/01/2025 15:44

Late DH could cook and occasionally made sweet puddings. Fairly tidy.

MrsJHernandez · 28/01/2025 15:44

Yes, hubby can cook if he has a recipe to follow. I only have to point out where some things are, because if something doesn't jump out of the fridge or cupboard and into his hands, it isn't there, apparently!

He does all the washing up too. I clean the sides and table because he doesn't do it properly 😂

We rarely make desserts, but he can bake a cake by himself... Once I show him where the cake pans are lol.

We've had words about silly questions and using his initiative, so he's better than he used to be.

He can get a bit stressy when cooking by himself (as can I!), but I do most of the cooking (because I'm home) or we cook together when he gets home from work ❤️

stuffnthings · 28/01/2025 15:43

SussexLass87 · 28/01/2025 15:42

Yes - everyone should be able to cook and clean up after themselves.

Agreed, this.

MoMhathair · 28/01/2025 15:43

SussexLass87 · 28/01/2025 15:42

Yes - everyone should be able to cook and clean up after themselves.

Agree. If someone says 'I can't cook' then I immediately think they're a lazy dope. I know some people have totally legit reasons but most of the time it's men who are perfectly capable in other aspects of their life, they just can't be bothered to make the effort.

lazyarse123 · 28/01/2025 15:43

My dh cooks, he's never baked so I don't think he'd give that a go. We pretty much share cooking and cleaning now we're both retired, although he tends to cook more than me. But he cannot serve up whether there's 2 or 5 of us he leaves it to me. I don't know if he's unsure how to make it fair, even fish and chips he leaves to me to portion out. It's a quirk but I can live with it.

Nina1013 · 28/01/2025 15:42

Yes. He’s a fully fledged grown up.

PerambulationFrustration · 28/01/2025 15:42

He could but doesn't often.