Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can your husband cook without a big fuss?

314 replies

Oyoh · 28/01/2025 15:08

For example could he make a roast dinner and sticky toffee puddding without trashing the kitchen, pestering you for help/asking where things were and without losing his cool?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
CurlewKate · 30/01/2025 06:58

@Autther "Why does your can't cook=shit man theory only apply to men. Why not can't cook = shit woman?"

It does. It's about being shit adult. I have just never heard a man say "Oh, I have to do all the cooking because my (woman) partner can't/won't/makes a huge mess/if I didn't our children won't get fed."

ScruffGin · 29/01/2025 23:00

Nope, definitely not. Wouldn't have a clue

DDivaStar · 29/01/2025 22:55

Roast dinner and sticky toffee pudding, no.

Spag bol, chilli, ready made pie or similar with chips/ mash/ veg yes.

Not sure he's ever made a pudding or cake.

Cooking not his strength and I love it, but he can make a meal.

Crikeyalmighty · 29/01/2025 22:48

A roast yes- a ramen yes - does both every week - but nothing else

Autther · 29/01/2025 22:25

Why does your can't cook=shit man theory only apply to men. Why not can't cook = shit woman?

And no I can't be arsed to make up a hypothetical situation on MN for a random stranger

CurlewKate · 29/01/2025 22:11

@Autther "
Why? I don't have to justify anything about my life to you, don't be weird"

Of course you don't. But you said that not being able to cook for your family, or cooking but leaving an enormous mess for someone else to clean up does not mean you are a shit man. I merely asked you to back up that statement. You could have done it by giving a hypothetical situation.....

Autther · 29/01/2025 22:06

CurlewKate · 29/01/2025 21:57

@Autther "Yes quite a few things actually, important things that I could just about manage if he wasn't here but aren't my skill set"
Name me something that needs to be done at least once a day 7 days a week that you're shit at and your dh takes responsibility for.

Why? I don't have to justify anything about my life to you, don't be weird.

CurlewKate · 29/01/2025 21:57

@Autther "Yes quite a few things actually, important things that I could just about manage if he wasn't here but aren't my skill set"
Name me something that needs to be done at least once a day 7 days a week that you're shit at and your dh takes responsibility for.

Girasoli · 29/01/2025 20:42

I would make a bit of a fuss if i tried to make a roast and a sticky toffee pudding at the same time.

Girasoli · 29/01/2025 20:40

My husband cooks more than I do, but couldn't make a sticky toffee pudding. I like baking so I'd do that bit.

NewMummaBear1 · 29/01/2025 20:37

Yes, we split the cooking during the week and he always makes the roasts at the weekend, he's very tidy and cleans as he cooks, I wouldn't of married someone who didn't have basic life skills.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 29/01/2025 20:24

Absolutely not! He can’t cook anything at all.

I don’t particularly mind, as he does virtually all the housework so it’s not as if he doesn’t pull his weight.

The kids don’t appreciate it when I go away though!

SnidelyWhiplash · 29/01/2025 20:18

My husband is the best cook I know, very closely followed by our 2 young adult sons.

I’m the one that is inept in the kitchen. I’ve never made a roast dinner or a full English in my life and I’m 52.

bakewellbride · 29/01/2025 20:14

Mine wouldn't know where to begin with sticky toffee pudding (or any pudding from scratch really) but makes an amazing roast and does do it from time to time including Christmas Day.

Autther · 29/01/2025 20:12

CurlewKate · 29/01/2025 10:45

@Autther "Just because someone is a shit cook doesn't make them a shit man. There a plenty of things I am shit at that DH takes responsibility for. Doesn't make me a shit woman"

It makes you a shit man if you don't live entirely alone. And it definitely makes you a shit man if you do cook but leave a huge mess for someone else to clean up.

Incidentally, is there anything that needs to be done every day without fail that you're shit at and your DH takes responsibility for?

Yes quite a few things actually, important things that I could just about manage if he wasn't here but aren't my skill set.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of shit men talked about on MN, but DH isn't one just because he's not a very good cook

poetryandwine · 29/01/2025 19:02

Yes. My DH is an excellent and has become a very tidy one.

EdithStourton · 29/01/2025 18:53

Mine can do a roast without making a song and dance until it comes to getting to the table, when he always requires help ('Can someone come and take the carrots?!!'

This baffles me as I can do the whole thing myself, inc carving and making the gravy.

CurlewKate · 29/01/2025 17:57

@Brooomhilda "Nope. But that's not where his talents are."

You don't need talent to cook. You need to be able to read a recipe. You do't need talent to wash up-you just need to be willing.

Butteredtoast55 · 29/01/2025 17:38

He can turn out a decent variety of staples like stir fry, pasta, risotto etc but a roast would take a day and a half and be very ... performative.
He's also fond of using as many dishes and utensils as possible. He has a bizarre syndrome where he can find anything he needs but doesn't know where it goes afterwards.

SouthLondonMum22 · 29/01/2025 17:32

Autther · 29/01/2025 10:07

Just because someone is a shit cook doesn't make them a shit man. There a plenty of things I am shit at that DH takes responsibility for. Doesn't make me a shit woman

Edited

Cooking is a basic skill. Any adult can do it.

Refusing to learn how and insisting that you ''can't'' cook makes someone a shit man in my eyes.

Eatinpeachesonthebeaches · 29/01/2025 17:26

My DH can heat things in the oven or airfryer and cook peas but would struggle with anything beyond that. I want him to get better at cooking as God knows what crap we'd be eating if I'm out of action. Hes mid 50s and I find it interesting that do many younger men can cook well. Any suggestions ?

Brooomhilda · 29/01/2025 17:10

Nope. But that's not where his talents are.

BellissimoGecko · 29/01/2025 12:00

Turbottimes · 28/01/2025 15:15

When my husband cooks it’s elaborate, takes ages and he likes to add lots of chillies so the kids won’t touch it. He then gets cross no one appreciates his brilliance.

I usually choose to cook to avoid the above.

Christ, that must be tedious! Why doesn't he learn?

DramaAlpaca · 29/01/2025 11:37

My DH could manage a roast no bother. He'd need a recipe for the sticky toffee pudding, but could do it just fine.

StrawberrySquash · 29/01/2025 11:35

Ex now, but he makes damn fine meal. Usual amounts of washing up.

Swipe left for the next trending thread