Who should pay - bride or bridemaid?

I would suggest she pays for the dresses, especially if she wants a specific one.

It's unreasonable for her to be expected to pay for hair and makeup - UNLESS of course she wants something specific that you're unable to do yourself. In which case of course she should pay for that too.

I had 3 bridesmaids and paid for their dress shoes handbag jewellery etc Would never have occurred to me not to !

Like so many trends, this trend needs to go back to the US and stay there.

This is the Uk not the USA. Bride pays

I Bought my own dress when my sister got married. It was only because they were doing it on a budget and couldn’t afford to pay for bridesmaids dresses. Me and my audited said if she wanted us as bridesmaids we would pay for our dresses.I paid for my bridesmaids and my friend got married a couple of years ago and bought our dresses. I just bought shoes.

Yes tradition is bride pays, or whoever is paying for wedding. X

This is so cheeky! She obviously wants lots of bridesmaids so she looks popular but doesn’t want to pay for them.

When I got married and every time I’ve been bridesmaid I’ve had everything paid for including the hotel the night before the wedding! The brides I was bridesmaid for paid for hair and make up but said to choose any hairstyle I want and so when I got married I did the same for my bridesmaids as I think that should more a nice treat so they feel special on the day too!

The bride should chose 2 or 3 bridesmaids and pay for their dress, hair, makeup. Other people can have roles in the wedding like doing a reading.

If she wants you to wear a specific dress, she has to pay. If it's a free choice, you pay. Hair and make up - you could probably do that yourself. If she wants you to have a bouquet, she should pay.

There's perhaps also a degree of how specific she's being if she's like wear any long dress in peach so you can pick one suitable in your budget maybe she could ask you to pay.

But defo not if she wants you all in matching specific £100+ one

I have been a bridesmaid 3 times as an adult

Not once did i ever buy the dress. For one wedding i bought shoes...never worn them since. They had to be a specific colour

Kate Middleton had 4 BMs

This woman is delusional

The bride is a CF

She is having 9 bridesmaids? Is she insane?

I would drop out. Surely she won't mind? can't you just be a day guest

Also, good luck finding a dress for £25 ....its not the 90s anymore

@Runrabbit123 ummm I paid for dresses, flowers etc and gave them option for hair and make u some of them wanted to do it themselves and if they wanted it done they paid for it, I was young though I’d pay for hair and make up now. I also helped pay for their accodation. YANBU.

My daughter is getting married next year - we will be paying for everything the bridesmaids need
just to add you can get lovely bridesmaid dresses now for under £100

The bride should definitely pay for the dresses, hair if wanted it done professionally and bouquets for bridesmaids. Some bridesmaids buy their own shoes and do their own make up. 7 bridesmaids is a lot. Most people manage with 1, 2 or 3 for cost reasons. It seems this bride can't afford 7 so should scale back to 2 or 3 and pay for them herself.

I would agree the bride should pay. I asked my bridesmaids to be there for me so I paid for everything. Dresses, 2 lots of alterations, accessories, flowers, hair, makeup. If the bride genuinely can't afford it then she needs to speak to you all individually, explain and see if you can agree a way forward.

Although I paid for ours if I was asked and knew the bride couldn't afford it then I'd offer if I was in a position to.

She's 'avin a larf!!!

Might we have our first Groom-zilla here if you think that he's had a word with her about involving a moxy load of cousins in the bridal party?

Cousins can usually be ushers on the day and help see relatives to their seats etc. They would usually get named in the order of service too. They don't however get to stand at the top with the bride & groom.

Glad you spoke to her OP.

More than anything because the costs would have only escalated if left unchallenged. Next it would have been matching satin pyjamas to get ready in. It never ends with CF brides who think they can get away with spending other people's money.

Best of all, after making people pay hundreds to be on their wedding, they still expect a gift on top.

Good on you for raising it. Fiancé sounds a bit of an idiot.

I would still be looking to drop out. I can't see beyond asking a bridesmaid to pay for her own bouquet, it's a new level of stinginess that I have never heard of that before. Makes sense though with 9 bridesmaids which is extremely tacky.

2 nights in a hotel, 5am start-I'd be going as a guest or not at all.

Nine bridesmaids ???

That's ridiculous.

A bridesmaid is there to help the bride on the day. How are 9 people going to do that ? (Or 7, in truth).
I don't think I'd want to be one of 9 bridesmaids anyway, but I certainly wouldn't be paying for the pleasure.

Bridesmaids paying for their own dress is a ghastly Americanism that’s creeping in. I HATE it. It’s cheap, tacky, gauche and smacks of champagne lifestyle on beer money. If you can’t afford a bridesmaid, don’t have one.