Who should pay - bride or bridemaid?

I paid for dresses, shoes and the bouquets but not hair and make up as I wasn't worried what they did.

One did pay to have her hair done but it was her choice. Her and I did a make up tutorial at Clinique and did our own make up but she paid for make up she bought as it wasn't wedding specific.

Bride pays for everything (dress, hair, makeup, flowers and accommodation the night before if wants them to stay over). I think it’s fine to say wear own shoes/bag if it’s something they’ve already got or their own choice.

I actually think it’s a bit off to give them the option of paying own hair/makeup or doing it themselves as everyone wants to look nice in formal photos and it does put pressure on for them to pay as who wants to be the only one with DIY makeup stood next to others who’ve had it done by a professional bridal person!

The wedding I was bridesmaid at we had to pay for our own dress, shoes, hair and make up.

I wish I had done my own hair and make up or found my own hairdresser. The women the bride had booked were shit and we all ended up having to redo our hair and touch up our make up. Waste of money.

Nope, you can't afford to dress them, you don't have them.

I think generally the bride should pay for all of that. I only had one bridesmaid and she did pay for her own dress (of her choosing, bought in her home country without much involvement from me).

But we paid for hair, makeup, all her meals, accommodation and taxis for the weekend of the wedding.

From the UK and I paid for dresses, hair and make up and bought them jewellery as a gift. They wore their own shoes. If you are asking someone to be a bridesmaid and particularly if you are insisting on specific dresses/style/theme, I think the bride should pay.

I've never heard of a bridesmaid being asked to pay for anything other than if they are staying over night for the wedding . I think it's common in America but never personally come across it here .

The last time I was a bridesmaid I paid for dress and shoes and the bride paid for make up and hair and gifted us all jewellery to wear. I think some kind of middle ground is best. To be fair we all picked the bridesmaids dresses together and was mindful of everyone's financial situation so the dresses weren't expensive

Depends on whether you are able to buy your own dress, and given a colour to buy. Also depends on the brides circumstances, if they are having a lavish wedding no expense spared otherwise, then yes bride should be paying. The bridesmaids ime would buy their own shoes. If she can't afford to buy all the bridesmaids dresses and get their hair done then she cant afford 7 bridesmaids.

I think it's more about not imposing costs on friends than who pays.

Paid for everything to do with bridesmaids, dress, shoes hair makeup and flowers.
They wore their own shoes, which they already had from other weddings.

Bride should pay, or very modestly priced dresses if the bridesmaids pay. Over a hundred is too much for the latter.

I like the practice which I think is newish, of choosing a colour scheme and asking bridesmaids to choose a dress within it in which case I think it's ok for them to pay. So no rigid style, it just has to be appropriate for a wedding. That way they can do second hand.

7 bridesmaids all left hundreds of pounds out of pocket for the dress, hair and makeup is very tacky. She should calculate her budget and work to it. Either 7 bridesmaids and a more affordable approach or a smaller party she can cover.

Historically, the bride paid (in the UK),

But, times seem to be changing and it seems reasonably normal for the bridesmaids to pay now, as a PP said, I think this has moved across from the USA.

So either is normal now. But, I think it's a bit unreasonable of the bride to not spell that out when asking you to be a bridesmaid so that you knew what you were signing up for.

I’m seeing this more and more.

I think the bride pays. And if she can’t afford 7 bridesmaids then she doesn’t have 7.

But I’m seeing so many people push the cost onto their bridesmaids and I personally think it’s really unfair, for all of the reasons you feel that way.

Bride pays for the dresses if they have specific style/dress in mind.

When I was a bridesmaid I was asked to wear a particular (not unusual) colour sandles or shoes, but could choose any style, and I paid for them myself. We were offered the chance to have our hair and makeup done, but I opted out of that as I wear very little makeup and had a short bob with limited styling options.

You definitely shouldn't be £££ out of pocket for a dress you didn't choose and will probably never wear again.

Bride pays unless it's "wear any dress" situation. No need for professional hair or makeup.

Bride pays for the dress - I think Bridesmaids should pay for shoes, as they can wear again, but depends how prescriptive the Bride is being.
Hair / make up - Bridesmaids do own or pay.

If you don't have any control / choice / ability to influence the cost, you shouldn't have to pay.

If the bride has chosen the style and colour of bridesmaid dress, then the bride should pay.

Either bride pays OR she allows the bridesmaids a lot of flexibility/ lets them wear what they want and doesn't worry about the colour scheme and fancy frocks

I'd say I couldn't afford it, still happy to come as a guest instead.

Bride pays for the dress (and shoes?) and flowers.

Bride pays for hair and make-up, or let bridesmaids do their own.

The bride should pay for everything, especially if she expects hair and make-up to be done professionally.

If she can't afford to pay, she shouldn't have that many bridesmaids. What have the other girls said about having to pay?

I bought my two little bridesmaids their dresses, socks and shoes. No flowers or make-up because they were 4 and 5!

Same here. Totally agree. Makes it accessible that way.

Bride/groom should pay but a lot seem to be adopting the American tradition where the bridesmaids pay which I think is cheeky tbh. The only way that would be acceptable is if, as a pp said, bridesmaids were told to wear what they want, do their own hair/makeup.

Wedding parties are so big now its ridiculous. I think when people were having one or two it was fine for the bride to pay, but there seems to be this fashion now to have a whole entourage around you, which then makes its it an astronomical cost to clothe them all