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Differences between Brits and Americans

342 replies

Opull · 28/01/2025 14:11

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 03/03/2025 18:22

user9876543211 · 03/03/2025 18:17

For some reason it won't let me click the link, but does it have eggs in it? I love my mother-in-law, but we have a major disagreement about this. I like east coast macaroni and cheese and she's from Alabama and puts eggs in it, which completely changes the texture.

The link didn't work for me either. I have a creamy mac & cheese recipe that's been in the family for decades. No eggs.

This is fairly similar.

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/102393/baked-homemade-macaroni-and-cheese/

Baked Homemade Macaroni and Cheese

This baked mac and cheese is creamy, comforting, and loaded with Cheddar cheese and a crunchy cracker topping for an easy, pleasing family meal.

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/102393/baked-homemade-macaroni-and-cheese/

CarolinaInTheMorning · 03/03/2025 18:19

user9876543211 · 03/03/2025 17:16

I agree that those kind of loyalties around sports, including high school and college, is a huge difference, which is very tied in to tribal loyalties, and cuts across all sectors of income and education in ways you don't see in the UK. University sports and the amounts of money they bring in from alumni and donors, I think, are a real problem in the US.

There are problems surely, but there are huge positives as well. Believe me, when the University of Georgia played for and won the national championship in college football (beating our ancient nemesis the University of Alabama) for the first time in 40 years, the celebrations cut across every political and cultural divide in the state and beyond. It was a sweet moment of unity, and we are still feeling the effects several years on.

JoyousGreyOrca · 03/03/2025 18:18

AmadeustheAlpaca · 03/03/2025 11:53

No it isn't. I live in Edinburgh and I don't know anyone who uses that in their everyday chats and certainly not at work. You must mix with some delightful people.

Edinburgh is like a mini England though. Strange city.

user9876543211 · 03/03/2025 18:17

CarolinaInTheMorning · 03/03/2025 18:09

Macaroni and cheese as a side dish is a Southern tradition and is a particularly important part of African American cuisine. But it differs from how British people (and lots of non-Southerners in the US) make it. It's traditionally a savory custard loaded with cheese and macaroni or some other type of pasta. Here :
https://www.saveur.com/article/recipes/southern-style-macaroni-and-cheese/

For some reason it won't let me click the link, but does it have eggs in it? I love my mother-in-law, but we have a major disagreement about this. I like east coast macaroni and cheese and she's from Alabama and puts eggs in it, which completely changes the texture.

CarolinaInTheMorning · 03/03/2025 18:09

user9876543211 · 03/03/2025 17:04

Yes, and certainly in the American South it's a very traditional side with ham or barbecue. I'm not sure that it's significantly odder than cauliflower cheese? Pretty much in a similar vein, flavour wise.

Macaroni and cheese as a side dish is a Southern tradition and is a particularly important part of African American cuisine. But it differs from how British people (and lots of non-Southerners in the US) make it. It's traditionally a savory custard loaded with cheese and macaroni or some other type of pasta. Here :
https://www.saveur.com/article/recipes/southern-style-macaroni-and-cheese/

IggyAce · 03/03/2025 18:05

@mathanxiety I love to give a different name each time I order in Starbucks, most spell mine wrong, don’t have a clue for dd middle name we once got X.

MissConductUS · 03/03/2025 17:57

Other cousin is still in Minneapolis and married a marine. He’s all about his American right to bare arms.

He loves his short sleeved shirts, does he? 😂

CarolinaInTheMorning · 03/03/2025 17:56

kiraric · 03/03/2025 16:56

On the names front, the one I find funniest is But I'm a Cheerleader - which is a film about a gay conversion camp.

One of our lead characters is a lesbian called Graham. I watched it with British friends and we had to actually pause it to discuss the important question of why you would name your daughter Graham and then be surprised she was a lesbian. As the present American, I really had nothing.

I have never seen this program, but it's quite common in the US, especially the South, to use surnames for first names, even for girls. The likelihood increases substantially if the surname in question is of Scottish origin and substantially more if the family is of Scottish origin, which is a high percentage in the South. I know women and girls with these first names: Cameron, Campbell, Kinley, Logan, Aiken, and of course the more common Lindsay and MacKenzie. This is in addition to other surnames girls in the South might have as first names: Peyton, Harper, Avery, Hunter, etc.

user9876543211 · 03/03/2025 17:52

Dramatic · 03/03/2025 17:18

That is absolutely ridiculous.

Really not as ridiculous with your assertions with, as far as I can tell, nothing to back them up.

My point, your words:

I mean you could say that about the UK too, people from pit villages in Co Durham are worlds away from people in inner city London or the commuter villages in Surrey.

TabloidFootprints · 03/03/2025 17:50

mathanxiety · 03/03/2025 17:25

It's a good idea when you visit another country to assume the laws might be different, then research the law and obey it.

Bluntly, did you expect the police to treat you differently from anyone else when you broke the law? Did you expect the 'busybody' to put up with people sleeping in a car when that is illegal, is associated with drug use, and can result at the very least in trash filled neighbourhoods, ? Did you expect a responsible camp counselor to stand idly by while his fellow counselors possibly became impaired and put the safety of the kids at risk?

Your post is a preposterous example of British exceptionalism.

I think if I was breaking the law in a way that didn't hurt anyone I wouldn't expect to have a gun pointed at me. In fact I would never expect to have a gun pointed at me in any circumstances unless I was about to kill someone.

CandyCane457 · 03/03/2025 17:48

I lived in America for a year in my 20s and remember being quite surprised by how much of a culture difference there was.
I forget a lot of things but one thing that always stuck with me (and probably a really obvious one) is how much friendlier Americans are, and willing to talk to strangers. I remember being in a queue in a sandwich shop and the guy in front just turning round and asking me which filling I was going for. I was really thrown at first thinking he was confused and thought he recognised me or knew me, then just realised he was friendly!!

CulturalNomad · 03/03/2025 17:48

also once complimented someone on her homely house, which turns out not to be very much synonymous with homey

😂

I would love to have seen the expression on her face!

kiraric · 03/03/2025 17:47

BaMamma · 03/03/2025 17:44

On the language issue, American English is actually more like the English of Shakespeare's time than British English, which explains the 'herb' pronunciation and the harder 'r' sounds in American English.

Yes but it's interesting that Shakespearean names aren't common in the US, like Imogen or Hermione

mathanxiety · 03/03/2025 17:46

IggyAce · 03/03/2025 15:23

After a holiday to New York I was shocked that most baristas were unable to spell or pronounce my dd name, one even questioned if it was genuine! What is this weird unpronounceable name you wonder: Imogen.

To be fair, the inability of baristas to spell names is a well-known joke.

One of my DDs uses the name "Kim" for the purposes of ordering coffee and has been keeping a running tally of misspellings.

BaMamma · 03/03/2025 17:46

George Bernard Shaw once said that the US and UK are “two countries divided by a common language” and Oscar Wilde said, “We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, the language”.

BaMamma · 03/03/2025 17:44

On the language issue, American English is actually more like the English of Shakespeare's time than British English, which explains the 'herb' pronunciation and the harder 'r' sounds in American English.

VeryQuaintIrene · 03/03/2025 17:43

British person who moved to the southern US at 30 and is now 60. Vocabulary, for one. Fanny, suspenders, vest to name but 3 mean something quite different depending on which side of the Atlantic you are on. I also once complimented someone on her homely house, which turns out not to be very much synonymous with homey. I'm married to an American and we enjoy the differences between our languages.

ChevyCamaro · 03/03/2025 17:37

I think when I went to the US I thought the culture would be quite similar to the UK, but it’s not really, anywhere I went anyway. I came back to the UK with the realisation that for all our language differences and cultural differences that Europeans have more in common with each other than I thought.

I don’t agree about the humour/ sarcasm posts though. Some of the funniest people I have known have been American, and some of the best comedy writing is also American!

user1471538283 · 03/03/2025 17:36

I know quite a few Americans and they are not conservative but years ago one couldn't understand why we didn't have bins on the underground (this was prior to 9/11) and didn't understand terrorist threats.

I used to know two who constantly banged on about how great they were at everything they did. That got old.

I've been surprised at how they will be very open about asking for money for things that we wouldn't.

TabloidFootprints · 03/03/2025 17:35

CheerfulYank · 03/03/2025 16:06

Yes, it’s just not a name here at all. Isn’t that odd? I mean, I’m sure there have been some born in the US, but I’ve never met one and only know it’s a name from my years on Mumsnet.

Jemima is also never used here, but that’s probably because of the pancake syrup.

Weirdly the first time I came across the name Imogen was in What Katy Did which is an American book. Although Katy's brother was called Dorry as far as I remember, never seen that name before or since.

TeenLifeMum · 03/03/2025 17:35

Dramatic · 03/03/2025 17:26

I mean you could say that about the UK too, people from pit villages in Co Durham are worlds away from people in inner city London or the commuter villages in Surrey.

I totally agree. That’s why sweeping statements about all Americans and all English aren’t really helpful imo.

kiraric · 03/03/2025 17:35

In the healthcare discussion, it always somehow gets forgotten that you can have private heath insurance in the UK too.

That's what we have and I think it's the best of both worlds.

It is much much cheaper than the premiums and copays in the US that I paid and you get the best of the NHS too

trainedopossum · 03/03/2025 17:27

These threads are always mad, so many people insistent on telling Americans what they're like and how they mispronounce words. "I went to California once and everyone there was horrible." 😂"You say Herb wrong." 😂
America has been independent for almost 250 years and has its own culture and version of English. The nerve!!
I don't personally know any religious Americans, maybe that's a midwestern thing. My American family is all lapsed Catholics. They're not rebellious so they may baptise their kids and marry in church but they don't spend a lot of time in church and it doesn't have much impact on their lives.
Ime they do tend to be personally louder and prefer to talk than to ask questions.
The healthcare system is better there in many ways but my family always had excellent insurance which is no longer the norm.
My dad's family were NRA supporters and we had guns all over the house but I've never seen an errant gun or shooting on the street, nor known anyone who came to mischief with one. Like most Americans I support gun control and haven't owned guns myself. It's more complex than Europeans understand.

Diningtableornot · 03/03/2025 17:26

The thing that strikes me most is about gun law and how some Americans think that having more guns makes people safer, against the most horrifying evidence to the contrary.

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