To give pocket money to DS for doing a chore?

I think pocket money is a good idea, with the proviso that a certain amount is saved every month/ week. It is good for children to learn that if you spend all your money on trash then when the money is gone it has gone, I don’t see the value of always topping their funds up if they see something they fancy. It is also good to learn that saving for something is something we all have to do sometimes.

I also think that the pocket money should come without strings, but that children should be expected to be part of the household when it comes to chores and small responsibilities.

Agree with your DH

We give pocket money that is not reliant on anything we do however seperately expect a certain amount of pitching in around the house- dishes, laying the table, recycling etc but its not £1 for dishes of anything. But its more of an ethos that we all live in the house so should all pitch in. If we ask them do something one off such as weeding or washing the car then i would give them something extra.

Sit on the fence. ‘Chores’ are non negotiable family responsibilities, we all do different ones (lighter for kids) and they have to do them regardless. Pocket money is a fixed amount per month. As per your DH idealised world.
however - dealing with real life teens here, a sanction for not pulling your weight in the household can be a withholding of pocket money. So I guess it is a bit like being paid for chores, but difference is they know they can’t just say ‘don’t pay me then’…

I am also sure it will change as he gets older (currently 5)

My DS gets £10 for spends and is expected to help round the house. If he wants s something but doesn't have the money we negotiate extra chores like putting away the log delivery or hoovering grandad's shed floor. But most of the time it is a no

I have found it is a decent amount that he can buy something with like a small Lego set or a magazine and it stops me just buying him stuff every time we go out and using his imaginary pocket money. It also stopped him asking for stuff every time we went out

He is currently saving up for a big Lego set (£40)

I will do the same for his sister when she gets to the same age as he was when I started doing it

There are some 'chores' that I just expect from my DC (although am frequently disappointed but that's another issue 😂) These are things like keeping bedroom in a decent state, bringing cups and plates downstairs, bringing laundry down, putting clean washing away, making bed, emptying bedroom bin into main bin, wiping over sink, putting plates in dishwasher, tidying up after themselves, feeding cats, take out recycling etc etc.

Then there are other non-standard chores that I would give them a bit of money for. This might be a full clean of the bathroom/en suite/other toilet, clean kitchen, vacuuming/dusting other rooms in house, washing car, mowing lawn, weeding garden. But our strict rule is that they only get the opportunity to earn money for chores if they do the standard chores first.

Pocket money is separate. They get a very modest amount of pocket money a week and it's not linked to chores.

I agree with your DH.

Fixed amount of regular pocket money by standing order into bank account to help teach early stages of budgeting, saving for something you want, making sure you have enough left to buy mum and dad a birthday present! DC have all had a debit card since they were 11, with a savings account as well as current account so can add birthday money and transfer their money between accounts as they want.
Bigger savings went into junior ISAs so out of touch.

Unrelated to general household tasks like making bed, setting table, folding washing that everyone has to do as part of family life. This aspect teaching different skills to money so we keep them separate.

I have paid occasionally for extras like washing the car to raise extra pocket money to take on a school trip.

Being motivated to work by earning money is hardly going to count against him in life.

Mine are much younger but we do basic pocket money £2 no matter what. They also have basic chores they have to do no matter what. Then they have the chance to do extra chores to earn top ups to their pocket money. We use go Henry and this works for us

I wouldn’t for basic chores. However if there is something extra I need my DD to do then I might pay for her time. For example maybe we are gardening. I think it’s important for main chores such as doing your bed, cleaning your room, cleaning dishes after yourself etc to be unpaid because you’ve got to do them regardless. And it’s healthy as an adult.

I personally don’t know any parent that pays their children for chores - I thought it was just something that happens on Tv. I give pocket money as a standard that goes into her own account on a monthly basis and it’s up to her to budget it.

Ours get a set amount of pocket money each month and they are expected to help with normal chores (laying table, small dog walks, tidying laundry and their bedrooms)

But they can also earn extra for extra jobs eg washing cars / weeding / ironing/ the main dog walk if it's too wet for my wheelchair and DH isn't around . These are the things I would otherwise have to pay someone to do (I am disabled) so it seems right they should be rewarded.

It’s both. Having a clean and nice home space is something they need to learn to provide for themselves. So giving them small things to do to facilitate this with no reward is good. How do you want them to live as an adult? Self sufficient or always looking to others? Or expecting praise for doing the basics?
And as for chores? Small chores for cash is good for this. And honestly? As an employer, please, please do this. Far, far too many young people are attempting to enter to the workplace with no idea that they actually have to…..work?
I’ve been an employer for more than 3 decades and the “failure to launch” I’m seeing now? It sits with the parents.

I mostly agree with your DH, we don't give money for chores because we think they should be done because they live in the house and it's fair for everyone to pitch in. We do give money for extras though like cleaning out the fridge or washing cars.

Obviously not to be put in such terms for DC😄

Basic plus commission for any chores done.

I have yet to introduce the idea of pocket money but will probably do this for DC.

My kids get paid to attend school (which includes punctuality and organisation), perform within their expected range and complete homework etc. The amount of support they have to do this depends on their age and of course the amount increases.

If they do not consistently do this, their money will stop until we reestablish the agreement and they keep to their part of the bargain. Only one child has ever got to that stage and it was for about three weeks.

I have the basics I expect from them as people who live in this house and extras that they can earn money for. Keeping their rooms clean, hanging out some washing, doing the washing up, running a hoover round are basics.

Stuff like cleaning the oven, cutting the grass, washing the car earn them some money. But they do get some pocket money as standard.

Agree. Nobody gets paid to help out in the family home.

It’s part of being a family member and for sure I don’t reward it financially. My kids help with age appropriate tasks like emptying dishwasher, helping tidy their washing. That’s part of family life.
Where does this end if you start paying for a child to help at home?

I think that if DH feels like this, then he should have started training your DS to do chores from a young age, as part of the things that we all do for the good of the family. However, now I think it's too late for that, and that giving him money in exchange for chores done, is the right way to go. I would also give him regular chores, that he MUST do each week, for which he gets a set amount of pocket money, but also explain to him that we all have to do some chores for the general good too. So, for example, we all take it in turns to say, set the table/clear the table, empty the dishwasher, that sort of thing, but then every Saturday (or whichever day you chose), he must tidy and dust his room, and put the vacuum cleaner round the living room, for which he'll receive 'X' amount.

No my kids don't get paid to contribute to maintaining our home environment. I think that will send a bad message, especially to the boys. Will they expect their wives to pay them to wash up?

We do a mix.

Everyone has jobs to do that are their jobs that are just being part of a household.

Kids get a set amount of pocket money that isn't linked to any jobs.

There are also further jobs available that bring extra money (up to a set maximum) to bring along the concept of getting more for doing more. Kids commit to doing the extra job for a month at a time then they can switch to a different one.

It's always worked well.

I think there's a middle way here. Growing up, I had a fixed amount of pocket money. I also had chores I was expected to do as part of my contribution to family life. However, there was always a list of things I could do to earn extra money if I wanted to.

Mine has a basic pocket money rate (a pound per year he is old, monthly) and can make extra by doing additional chores on top of this.

There are chores he needs to do without payment as a part of the family, ie. make his bed, feed the pets, tidy up after himself, help when requested

Things that are a bit trickier that I wouldn't expect a child his age to do are on his chore chart, ie. Hoover the stairs, change cat litter, empty the dishwasher, fold the laundry.

For context he's only 7 and it's evolving as he gets more confident. He can make a substantial amount on top of his basic rate when he wants something 🤣

Side bar... how much pocket money do well give our kids?

Mine is early primary and gets £2....