To tell my good friend her husband is on dating apps!

He is obviously a serial
Cheat. You're really better off without him.

This. If she found your DH on a dating site wouldn't you like to know. Just tell her. One of my friends told me my exh of 21 years was cheating on me. I was on holiday with kids at the time. She saw him holding hands in a very expensive restaurant he only took me to for my birthday and wedding anniversary. I was upset but also angry. I rushed home, bagged up all his stuff. Got my BiL to come to my house for support. Text DH to come home I needed him. He was confused because thought I was still on holiday but came home. All his stuff was in garden. BiL told him to get his stuff moved and I didn't want to speak to him again. He asked BiL why and was told you know what you've done. Exh eventually stomped off. I got the locks changed and divorced him. I hadn't been happy for a while but finding out he was cheating gave me impudus to get a divorce. I thanked friend for telling me because I know it would have been hard to or her to do and she told me she was afraid I'd blame her. I told her she wasn''t the cheat.

I would tell her your DD came across a profile with his picture, include the screen shot, and let her deal with it how she wants.
If it does turn out to be scammy, it can be stopped. If he's fucking around, she can make her choice, because she won't be in the dark.
He may not be loyal, but having friends who have your back really matters , especially if he is cheating

@Sparrow7

I'm sorry to say but I think you are being a bit naive here.

OP - tell her. I'd rather know and then she can do what she likes with the info.

Honestly I think the chance of it being a stolen photo is so slim it's just crazy. Of course he's put the wrong age down, tons of men do that and women too.

My ex husband left me for the OW and married her. Fifteen years later a dating site matched him up with my best friend. He was still married and living with OW. I didn’t used to believe in Karma…

That's awful 😞

A friends husband did this;my friend was having treatment for cancer at the time;other people knew before she did;another friend was at the hairdressers and the hair dresser and her client were talking about it as the single client saw him on the dating app and recognised him and knew he was married.

The hairdresser and her client didn't know that my friend and the wife knew each other.

The wife left him a few months later.

I met someone who I fell head over heels for. He was working away when my friend messaged my to say she had seen his profile on a dating site. I was really hurt as I'd invested so much time into him, but I was also really embarrassed that I'd told people that I really liked him, yet my friend saw him on there looking for whatever it was he was looking for. I felt an absolute tit and it was nowhere near as deep as the relationship between your friend and her husband.

Please tell her.

Your friend needs to know whether or not it is genuine. There’s no good reason to keep quiet, no grey area here. It’s not like keeping quiet about a suspicion or a moments indiscretion .

Fake is possible but unlikely. Likelihood is that he is on dating sites, trying to pull young women.
You're doing the right thing by telling her.

Screenshot, take her for coffee, say "I'm so sorry this is really hard to say but XYZ has been found on this site. I have a screenshot which I can show you if you like." Then just listen and go from there

Let us know how it went

I think I would message her a screenshot and say it may be fake but thought you should know

This. Then you will get the real answer!

I have experienced this happening several times with people I know. Fake profile was always used as the excuse. Every single one turned out to be real and cheating or boosting their ego by messaging younger women.

Men use their professional photos because they think they look good in them and they think women will be attracted to their job

I would absolutely tell my friend with screenshots as evidence and I would encourage her to think carefully about how/when she confronts him. He will delete everything on his phone the second he gets wind of this.

You must tell her.

I agree.

Also, it might not all be doom and gloom they might be swingers 😅

Or she knows but lets him get on with it

Or she can check if he has tinder / whatever it is he's using before confronting him

If she's a really good friend then yes, if she's just someone you know then maybe not.

I'm surprised how many think this is a fake.

You make a fake profile and chat him up..

I do believe this to be the right thing. I actually remembered another instance with a different ex years ago (clearly I don’t have much luck!) where this happened too and it was a bloody work colleague who sent me a message one evening saying “Hi Feathers, I’m not sure if you and [name] are still together or not and if you’re not then I’m really sorry for the message, but I’ve just seen him on Tinder and woman to woman felt you should know as I’d want to know in those circumstances. Hoping I haven’t been too intrusive and I screenshotted the profile should you wish to see it xx”

I was grateful that she told me and responded thanking her and dealt with it from there so a message like that could work.

@BerryMummypudding

I agree with telling her and showing her whatever proof you have in a 'neutral' way. Just "DD found this on XX dating site and I thought you should know". It's up to her to decide what to do about it.

As far as losing the friendship, my feeling is that one tells a friend as a gesture of friendship, love, and loyalty with the hope that they'll accept it that way. If they don't, well then although the friendship is 'lost' (at least for now) you still know you've done the right thing for the right reason. I'd rather live with myself knowing I did the right thing even though the friendship is lost, than live with myself knowing that I was choosing my own 'convenience' over loyalty and honesty to a friend.

Hmm. You don’t actually know if they have an open relationship or not to start off with but… If this is one of your friends, yes, let them know. As others have said - tell the truth - that your daughter is in dating app and saw his photo, and you thought maybe it’s been swiped off a linkd in profile or something. If you don’t know her well, personally, I’d stay out of it.

Tell her op, and tell her to try and check his phone before she confronts him because saying its a catfish account is a very easy alibi. So I'd want access to the phone/ phones to be sure.

Yes tell her... Perhaps if more men were called out on their slimy behaviour, they would think twice before attempting to cheat on their partners.

I'd create a fake profile myself and message him. See if he replies and whether the replies sound like him.

Don't do this, it's far too messy