Blended family and wills

The only way to keep this fair is if your dh leaves his estate split equally between his three children. You leave all yours to your child. His ex leaves all hers split between her dcs.

Then all children inherit fair portions from their respective parents. The only variance I would make is that he contributes equally to all his children's university fees if they choose to go.

As his current wife, he could leave you a life interest in the house, so you are protected and do not have to leave your home if he dies before you.

All three of his children have two parents to inherit from, so there is no need to give one of his children preferential treatment.

Seems awful that it isn’t an equal split between the children come what may!

All children should inherit equally.
if he’d stayed with the 18 year olds mum, she’d inherit 100% from him or 50/50 if you like from both parents.

But he then had a child with another woman so the eldest and middle then got 50% each from him.

then he married and had a child with you. So in theory they get 33% from him each. So you and them getting 25% is fair. But the oldest and middle could argue that youngest is actually going to get 50% from dad if you then leave all of your 25% untouched and to your son.

you can’t guarantee what the other mothers will leave their children just like you can’t guarantee what your son will get.

but I’d look again at your will because surely if you leave everything to your DH there is nothing to stop him then leaving everything to either all children equally or even to a 4th wife rather than your son.
Are you sure your will can stipulate what happens to your estate once you’re dead and it is officially your DHs? I’d be changing it to 50/50 with your son and DH with the understanding that 50% could end up not going to your son fully.

Your husband splits his half between all three kids and you give all of your half to your kids.
So his kids would get 2/6 and your child would get 4/6s.

So his other 2 kids can naff off so long as yours is okay then?

The poor older kids... they absolutely should have a share of everything belonging to their father, what makes your son so special!? He has a mother that he will also inherit from.

Have you considered that your dh seems to be in a pattern of ditching and replacing his kids every 8-10 years? That being the case, it would be better now to establish firmly that any assets he has are divided equally between all his children (there may be more to come).

I don't understand your logic. Presumably, your ds will inherit from his own mother, as the other two children will inherit from their mothers. So it seems obvious that each child should inherit an equal share from their father's estate.

Fair enough for you to get a lifetime interest in the house, as it is your home and you're raising your child there, but upon your death, I would say that your half of the house should pass to your ds and your DH's share should be split 3 ways.

Each child gets the same from their father.
You leave what you have to your child.
Each child inherits from from their mother and father.

You are being VERY unreasonable.

His gets shared equally between all of his children.
Yours just goes to your child.

on reflection I think our son should get a larger percentage. I know he will receive whatever he gets from me at some point but his other kids will also get that from their mums.

Right... so why should any of them get more than the others? Since you've just said they're all in the same position re. potential inheritance from their mothers.

I think you are being U.

You've not done what you think you have. If you predecease your husband and you leave it all to him he can do whatever he pleases and may leave it all to baby mama #4 or just wife 4 if too old to have children. You need to create a trust and everything gets left to the trust with your all of the children being beneficiaries. You can assign certain percentages in your 'letter of wishes'. The ease with which he has disinherited his older children really should alarm you more. Creating a trust would mean the house would also be safe from care home fees. You really do also need to carry enough life insurance to pay to bring up your child.

So your DC won't inherit from you?

The children should be treated equally in the will. Your son's needs should be covered by life insurance.

This @Notsurewhatimdoing100 ^

OP you are getting all wound up about something and not seeing the situation clearly.

You married a man who has children. His financial contribution to them thus far isn't something you can try to get equity in now.

What if your dh's business suddenly grew massively and you could afford to privately educate your child and go on multiple luxury holidays a year. What if his previous dc didn't get that. Do you think they should be able to claim more money from him now ti even things up.

You start from where you start from. He has 3dc he is committed to. He splits his share of assets equally. He gives some element of protection to you as his wife. You see already getting the whole house which will go to your dc. His other dc are seeing none of that and yet you still want more?

You are being incredibly selfish. Any parent should leave their estate equally to their children and the older ones shouldn’t have to wait or miss out because the chose to have a second family.

So ultimately your son will end up with the house and 50% of everything else, and you think he should get more?

Your child will, I guess you are thinking, inherit the house from you? (Spoiler: you have no idea how your life or that of the other mums will turn out.)

What PP said re life assurance to cover his share of costs of bringing up his dependent children - there are two, you seem to have forgotten one - and his remaining estate then goes three ways.

The other children will inherit from their mothers. Your child will inherit from you. How is this different?

Also you can leave everything to your dh if you die first but you can't dictate who he then leaves it to. It doesn't work that way.

Yes you are being unreasonable.

He needs to split his estate between his 3 children. It is not the fault of any child that he keeps deciding to move on and play happy families with new people.

Jeez you are being very cold hearted thinking his children shouldn’t inherit from him.

He has three children who should all be treated equally.