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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to pay this much for a hen do

168 replies

Brooomhilda · 28/01/2025 10:29

A family member is having a hen do. It's at a friends house and is cocktail themed. They have asked for a £50 contribution per head. I'm pregnant and won't be able to drink. I'd love to go and celebrate but £50 is steep considering all I'll be able to have is the nibbles. But I feel a bit cheeky/stingey asking for a discount. What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Brooomhilda · 28/01/2025 11:43

Gall10 · 28/01/2025 11:00

Pay the money
eat as much as you can
take a Tupperware box with you and cram £40 worth of food to take home!

Show them the meaning of eating for two!

OP posts:
EdnaTheWitch · 28/01/2025 11:16

YANBU

MimiSunshine · 28/01/2025 11:15

heroinechic · 28/01/2025 10:54

My guess is they have just totted everything up and divided it equally so if you ask for a discount everyone else will pay more. You probably won't be the only one not drinking, or at least, the only one not drinking a lot. I imagine the budget doesn't relate only to alcohol but also to food, decorations, games, any entertainment etc.

It does sound steep for a house party but then again it's cheap for a hen do!

I dont think it’s OPs issue if it puts the cost up for others.
surely they should expect to pay their fair share and not have a pregnant non drinker subsidise them?

OP, I’d message and ask does the £50 include non alcoholic cocktails and if so what are? (bet they think you’ll make do with some schloer for £50) Or should you just transfer £20 for your food / nibbles and you’ll bring your own drink?

DreamW3aver · 28/01/2025 11:03

BlondeMamaToBe · 28/01/2025 10:50

I would just pay it. There will be none alcoholic drinks too, you can have mocktails and then there’s the food/snacks.

£50 for a hen is a bargain.

£50 to go round to someone's house to have non alcoholic drinks and a few nibbles is whatever the opposite of a bargain to me

Just because it's cheaper than a weekend in Benidorm doesn't make it a bargain

Maboscelar · 28/01/2025 11:03

How many people are going? If it's just a few I can see how it's that much to pay for the bar, but they would be better off having it as a pay bar and they pay any difference.

Gall10 · 28/01/2025 11:00

Pay the money
eat as much as you can
take a Tupperware box with you and cram £40 worth of food to take home!

FanofLeaves · 28/01/2025 10:57

BlondeMamaToBe · 28/01/2025 10:50

I would just pay it. There will be none alcoholic drinks too, you can have mocktails and then there’s the food/snacks.

£50 for a hen is a bargain.

But nuts for what is essentially some friends getting together at someone’s house.

FanofLeaves · 28/01/2025 10:55

Blimey what’s going to be in these cocktails, Bollinger and gold leaf?!

arcticpandas · 28/01/2025 10:54

I'm starting to wonder if people are trying to make a profit from their friends. I will start to charge people 50£ each everytime they are invited for dinner. And this is just drink and nibbles? It better be champagne and caviar!!!

heroinechic · 28/01/2025 10:54

My guess is they have just totted everything up and divided it equally so if you ask for a discount everyone else will pay more. You probably won't be the only one not drinking, or at least, the only one not drinking a lot. I imagine the budget doesn't relate only to alcohol but also to food, decorations, games, any entertainment etc.

It does sound steep for a house party but then again it's cheap for a hen do!

BlondeMamaToBe · 28/01/2025 10:50

I would just pay it. There will be none alcoholic drinks too, you can have mocktails and then there’s the food/snacks.

£50 for a hen is a bargain.

sweetpickle2 · 28/01/2025 10:45

£50 for drinks in someone's house is outrageous, however I can't imagine any hen do that would cost much less these days. I'd probably just pay up and be grateful it's not some several hundred quid abroad affair.

Yes you won't be drinking but the money covers more than booze I assume.

ForRealCat · 28/01/2025 10:43

I'd go back and say "Thanks so much for organising, I'm pregnant at the moment so wont be drinking, shall we say I contribute towards the food £20 and just bring my own non-alcoholic options and then that's one less thing for you to have to worry about"

Although quite frankly someone is making out like a bank robber if they are charging £50 a head for cocktails at home

Globusmedia · 28/01/2025 10:39

I think it's ok to ask for a little discount but half is too much - your not drinking won't make that much of a dent in the overall cost of alcohol and I imagine they're buying food and some nice decorations as well. Maybe 35-40?

Notgivenuphope · 28/01/2025 10:36

Sorry folks, I can’t really justify the £50 a I am unable to join in due to my pregnancy -looking forward to seeing you at the wedding! Have a great night all

AllFours · 28/01/2025 10:34

Suggest to pay half since you’ll not be partaking in the cocktails and offer to bring your own non-alcoholic drink option(s).

Snowmanscarf · 28/01/2025 10:34

I presume she’s a good friend if it’s a hen party, so just ask. Sounds reasonable to me.

Kingoftheroad · 28/01/2025 10:32

It is way to much: for a house party. Ask to pay half