To not want to pay this much for a hen do

I agree usually charging people to come to your house for a party is wrong BUT I don’t think one girl should be massively out of pocket for hosting 30 people in her home!!! That’s a few hundred quid for food and drink even if you’re getting everything from Sainsbury’s. Agree for that price there is likely more involved - if I were hosting that many I would be looking to outsource catering or bar & tbh probably a cleaner for the morning after!!

You might be getting taken for a ride but £50 is cheaper than a meal out and transport home even if you’re not drinking - I would pay it and be glad it’s not a big fancy do in a different city with hotel and travel costs.

Goodness me.

Perhaps I'm a bit "old school", but if I'm hosting a party then I'm footing the bill.

Can you ask if there will be non alcoholic cocktails too?

I wouldn't go, because being the only sober one in a big crowd of raucous drinkers is my idea of a nightmare. Also, does the bride have a very big house? Because 30 people crammed into one living room ( for games, etc) will be a tight squeeze.

It is the cheapest hen party I have seen recently. I would suck it up and be grateful you are not being asked to spend hundreds on a weekend away

I would just pay it, ( if you can afford it) it doesn’t seem like a huge ammount compared to other hen parties that cost hundreds

I would just pay. That money will likely be covering other things than booze and food

You either pay the £50 and go or not pay and not go.

There will be others who aren’t drinking, or aren’t eating, or can only pop in for a short amount of time.

It’s a pain in the arse organising a large do for a wide range of people. You can’t do different contributions for different people’s circumstances.

I normally agree with this. However it’s a hen do - so they are hosting 31 people (many who they probably don’t know) in their house as a favour to the hen. Otherwise everyone would be abroad or in a hotel..

I love my friends but I wouldn’t fork out £1500 of my own money to host that many people in my house for food and a cocktail party. It’s not the same as a birthday party or Christmas party.

Oh don't be ridiculous. First of all, it's the family member's friend (presumably bridesmaid) who is organising. Are they supposed to absorb the whole cost? Where does it end? Will OP give a wedding gift that costs exactly the same as what she eats and drinks at the wedding, to make sure she gets her money's worth?

It is shocking bad manners to host and ask for any sort of contribution - be it alcohol, money or food. If you can't afford it, don't host. There is always an option of going to a place where everybody would pay for themselves. (Obviously, those who are invited should bring alcohol or food or gifts, but to be asked (!!!!) - so awful - like a hotel calling paying clients 'guests' whom the hotel 'hosts'.

Honestly I would be so grateful for a hen party that only cost £50 I would pay it like a shot. I've never got off that lightly.

£50 for a cocktail party at a house is ridiculous

I think it’s time to say you won’t be drinking as you are pregnant and to ask how much you should contribute towards food and decorations?

I would just pay it, if you ask for half price - £25 for example, it is still costing you £25 so is it worth the £25 embarrassment of asking for a discount?

That is a lot, we hired a mobile bar for 1/3 of that for around the same number, with a guy making cocktails and providing all kinds of other alcoholic drinks. Included glass hire and mixers as well.

I would start by trying to find out how they are organizing the food and drink. If they are hiring a bartender who will be able to keep you in wonderful mocktails all evening, I would just pay the fee.

I would decline and if the family member had been in receipt of any hospitality from me I would send them an invoice for it.

I assume that they have estimated costs ie £50 and then will spend to what they get-extra drinks or present for hen if they have a surplus. I doubt they are trying to make a profit.

I think £50 even when drinking is crazy. And you say there are 30 people coming. WTAF.

I think it's a bit gauche to throw a party you can't afford and then ask your guests to pay.

I think this is the sort of thing where the host should have said BYOB and a dish. Then everyone has something they like and can spend as much or little as they like.

Really weird to ask for people to pay to come to your house for a party.

I’m guessing the hen is your friend. Just go and support her. I’m sure there’s more to it than just booze as others have said. Have you ever organised an event like this? It’s such a nightmare when people get really rigid about everything. Imagine the poor organiser if 30 people start texting her to negotiate £10 off here and there because they don’t want to eat the snacks or won’t wear a penis shaped head band etc etc

I wouldn't go, it's no fun watching other people get pissed.

But then I hated my hen do, afternoon tea at a really really quiet restaurant (we were the only people there), then on to a comedy club (I wouldn't have minded it but it was just so flat after the afternoon tea).

I actually wanted a day at the races, where I could enjoy myself.

I feel like if you're having a party in your house, it's just wrong to ask people to pay. Our neighbours did this once. Asked us round for their anniversary party, and then asked us for £10 per head for the catering. We didn't go, out of principal.

I would never, ever, ever charge anyone anything when invited to my house. We don't have much money at all, but when we entertain, we save money for food and drink, and pay for it all. It's not extravagant by any means, but it's nice, and we have a good time.

If you can't afford to host, you shouldn't host.

OR another way round it if it's cocktail themed is perhaps to have a lucky dip of cocktails, everyone picks one, and then brings the ingredients for that cocktail. That sits better with me than being asked to pay.

Nah!

OP, unless you really, REALLY want to go then I would give it a swerve.

Although I'm probably biased as it sounds like my idea of hell.☹️ 😂