To not want to pay this much for a hen do

Ask them to get some alcohol free gin etc so you can have mocktails.

i pai less tan that a a cocktail making hen do in an atual bar

theyre taking the piss

Usually everybody would have to (and be expected to) take their own gift

£1500 for a house party? Are they having it redecorated?

I disagree - the cost difference between alcohol and non-alcohol will be significant. You would never spend £25 on soft drinks if you go out, let alone £50. £25 would cover a significant portion of the decorations on top of the soft drinks which I suspect will total £1!

I think it’s absolutely fine to say as you aren’t drinking and are pregnant and need to keep money aside for maternity that you can’t contribute; and either offer the £25 or just ask if you can contribute less and see what they say. If the response is a bit unreasonable you can say you have thought about it and have decided you won’t be able to come.

This is a small hen - just 10 guests so they all know the bride very well and the items are personalised with their names not hers!

Exactly. Either go and pay the £50 or make an excuse and say you can't make it. Don't quibble over a few quid because you're not drinking.

But if you're skint or don't know the bride THAT well then you wouldn't want all the personalised stuff?

I thought this was going to be ‘My BFF is having a hen do in Ibiza and we are getting a helicopter there and going to a club to see Fat Boy Slim and it’s £5,500 each.’

If I was pregnant I would be delighted it doesn’t involve coaches, hotels, pole dancing lessons etc. I think £50 for a family hen in someone’s house sounds lovely.

I think you need to do a breezy reply about qhta the £50 is for as you can't drink so won't be doing cocktail making or anything.

My DD is organising a hen atm.
She's worked so hard -she has personalised pjs for everyone and engraved martini glasses with names for the evening (she's very creative). The guests will get to keep all the personalised goodies. She's made posters, banners and menus. She's asked for £60 a hen for bottomless brunch, then cocktails, nibbles and karaoke at her flat in the evening ( I've said I will pick up the bill for those as my wedding gift to the hen who I've known since she was a baby). For the two non drinkers she's asked for £40. That's fantastic value , 2 meals and unlimited drinks for £60 each - in London.

People are still quibbling. I get it if money is tight but these are professional women in their late twenties (no children yet).

I think this is a good message. And it may prompt them to ask you to contribute less.

I get the principle that you should pay less as not drinking, but tbh, if the bride is someone I cared about, and I could afford the £50, I'd just pay it. I'm sure the money is also covering food, decorations, games/entertainment and paying for the bride.

£50 is not bad for a night out and it's very reasonable for a hen do. How many posts do we see where people are being asked to fork out hundreds (or more!) for a hen do.

Sounds to me like there’s some kind of activity … butler or cocktail making class. If that’s the case I’d pay it. You can still partake in entertainment.

This is so cheap! I would happily pay it and I don’t drink alcohol xx

I'd ask what the £50 is contributing too as you wont be drinking, then go from there.

I wouldn't want to pay £50 for that but would also feel awkward trying to negotiate a discount. I probably just wouldn't go.

I think it really depends what the £50 covers. Can you find out more details? If it's going to be a catered party or perhaps a cocktail making class with a bartender then yes, I would pay it. If the latter than can make some pretty awesome mocktails.
if they are doing more a DIY set up, buying in food/drinks then I would discuss further.
Remember included in the price will be decorations, potentially games and gifts.

OP I see where you're coming from. To avoid any awkwardness re £ I'd prob send a message simething aling these lines.

"Really looking forward to hen do on xx date

Baby is due in eg July so unfortunately am a bit restricted on what I can eat or drink.......would you like me to bring along my own soft drinks and nibbles (as I'm not able to drink alcohol or eat soft cheeses deli meats etc) until baby is born......or will suitable refreshments for the non drinkers/other pregnant ones all be in hand?

Thanks again....looking forward to the night!'

I would guess they're paying for entertainment, caterers, a bar, gifts ... £50 a head isn't someone buying a few bottles and snacks from the supermarket.

Although quite frankly someone is making out like a bank robber if they are charging £50 a head for cocktails at home

Too right!!!

I'm so curious to know where the money is going and if they're making a profit even if it's just keeping all the partly emptied bottles of alcohol.

In your shoes I wouldn't go but I also wouldn't ask for a discount

I think £50 is very good value for a hen do.

I'd pay.

Are they hiring someone to do the cocktails? Perhaps clarify.

If theybare, I'd suck it up. If they are doing a tesco run they'd be better off asking for £20 and bringing what they want to drink.

You say 'be glad' as though OP's in some way obliged to attend the hen do... she isn't.

I'd imagine nowadays if the hen party is at home and this could be age range dependent but I'd have said if bride 2 be is under 35ish a lot of this will go to decorations maybe those light up letters they are pricey to hire but very instagrammable.

Helium balloons/gifts and games? Maybe a marquee/table and chair hire? A DJ? Lots of hens do party or favour bags now. Sweet table. There's lots more than just cocktails and nibbles it could be spent on. Could be getting a catering van in or doing whole buffet from M&S.

It's poor form though for the people organising it not to give at least a rough break down as people like to know where their money is going especially if it's an at home do.