To not want to pay this much for a hen do

If I choose to throw a party and invite my friends, then I pay to decorate my own home. Do you chip in for the cost of balloons at friends’ birthday parties?

Nobody can swallow £50 worth of mocktails...you will make yourself sick with all the fruit juice

I would politely ask what the £50 covers

I do think it's unfair for a pregnant woman to pay for someone else's cocktails

Then again, £50 is a cheap hen do

If they're hiring a bar and activities or whatever then the 50 is not purely consumables, it is the whole event, decorations etc. I'd just pay it personally, it doesn't seem a ludicrous amount.

Woah that's a lot for a house party! I'm assuming it includes catering, a stripper and games and paraphernalia costs?

If you don't pay the full amount, they won't let you watch the stripper !!

In your place if money is tight I would politely decline and tell them you will try to drop in much later for an hour if you can, and will bring a mineral for yourself.

Don't ask for a discount, it will put a target on your head with this type.
Simply decline as above.

I agree you shouldn't pay for drinks but the outrage on here for 50 quid a head for food and drinks is a bit mad. I mean it's a hen do so i assume the food with be plentiful and probably fancy. If theyve had to get loads of bottles of spirits (even if some are only used for one cocktail) then it adds up. Count yourself lucky it's not a week in an Ibizan villa like most of the threads on here 😂

Are you sure it's not a cocktail class/bartender hire? They are £35+ per person so £50 seems reasonable with food and decorations. They will charge per person whether you drink or not as they do mocktails.

I think if you like your friend enough then you should just pay, think of it as your contribution to her having a good hen do rather than what it covers for you. You'll definitely get talked about if you try and negotiate a discount!

£200 seems a lot to pay for 6 people to eat, when you aren't factoring in staff costs, rent, rates, utilities, etc.
but, even if you do, I'm presuming that is a fancy meal with several courses, not just drinks ?

Are they paying a cocktail maker? Is it a lesson? Or just getting drinks in ?

@DreamW3aver perhaps it depends what people mean by nibbles. If I invited people over for nibbles I would mean more like a buffet that could equate to a substantial meal - it would not just be bowls of crisps!

Or they could have gone and got it all from Aldi and be serving it themselves. Wow.

Wow whenever I've been to a hen party at someone's house we don't get charged. We all bring a bottle/s and nibbles. Games are easy to lookup on internet and don't cost a fortune. Obviously we offer the host money for anything she's paid for but usually because we are all good friends we all just pitch in. I would definitely let the host know about your situation.

I went on a very low key hen do in my local city last summer. Taxis were £30, meal was £42, £30 in the kitty, £10 towards brides sash, veil, and a present for her. It was about as sensible as you can get so
£50 sounds alright.

I'd just pay up.

Presumably your dinner party includes a special more than one course meal rather than nibbles though

Presumably you don’t charge people you offer to host in your home though.

@CandyCane457 i think it could easily cost that much tbh! It usually costs me at least £200 just to host a dinner party for two other couples. Add the special occasion element on top I think it would easily be around that

I would be so keen for a breakdown to find out how on Earth a few cocktails/nibbles/decorations are costing £50 a head! How many people are going?! It’s really costing hundreds?!

• Sorry, edited to say I just saw your post where you said 31 people and it’s costing £1.5k…I don’t understand how a house party can cost so much but maybe I’m just out of touch 🤣🙈

That’s a terrible way to look at it, I’m sure they’re not profiting from it. Offering to host a hen do in your home for 31 will be a huge amount of effort. It’s a really generous thing to do. That’s 31 champagne flutes to wash-up, different cocktail glasses, crockery, making sure the house and garden are epic and span. I hosted for 42 recently for a family party and it nearly killed me.

Why don't you ask what it covers, then you'll have a clue what to offer

There is no way 31 people are close enough to the bride to want to pay that, so it’s inevitable that at some point the cost will rise. I’d get in early and decline now.

I'd just message back and say something along the lines of "Thanks for the invitation but, as I'm pregnant I'm not going to be able to take part in a cocktail party, so I'll see you all at the wedding. Looking forward to it." Then leave it at that.
If they really want your company, they can say something along the lines of pop in anyway, even if it's for an hour. We'd love to see you, but understand you can't drink at the moment.

I wouldn't be paying £50 for cocktails round at someone's house, pregnant or not.

Yes but it isn’t 3 cocktails in London. Well, I suppose it could be someone’s house in London. But you know what I mean.

but again we just need to know what is included! I’ve never heard somebody ask for £50 and not give any information at all: