To not want to pay this much for a hen do

Is the £50 contribution for drinks only? If it's for decorations, food etc then ask if you can pay towards that & explain you'll bring your own drinks so will only pay xx amount. Don't let them tell you how much you need to be paying. If they're true friends they'll understand & not pressure you or make you feel bad for not coughing up the total £50.

Are you the host? I wouldn't go.

You are being perfectly reasonable.
They don't have to tell everyone you're paying less/nothing.
I don't move in these sort of circles so I don't really understand the whole inviting someone to do something and then expecting them to pay for it.
Why not just ho to a cocktail bar and all pay for what you like?

You’ve made exactly the right decision. If you’d all gone out for a meal it would have cost about that. Time and fun with friends is very precious and worth more than money x

People thinking it's a bargain 🤣 are them doors banging again 😂
I'd sit it out. You'll end up the babysitter

Insist that they supply a few delicious mocktail choices for the ones, like you, who prefer to drink no alcohol.

@BBQPete what? Of course she's going to join in on the entertainment, fun, the decorations, the food, the non-alcoholic drinks.

She's PREGNANT, not 5 years old tagging along to stand next to her Mum.

The only thing she can't do is drink a mountain of booze. And these days non-alcoholic cocktails aren't far off the price of alcoholic ones. Have you seen how much a bottle of seed lip costs?

Agreed.

It's not £50 for a handful of crisps and water.

It will be for entertainment, there will most likely be non-alcoholic cocktails, decorations, they might have hired some butler in the buff type waiters!

£50 is a bargain for a hen! And I've spent that on two bottles of wine and a bunch of flowers to take to a dinner party for the evening.

But it’s the type of cost that isn’t worth falling out over. Come on OP, £50 is fine, that barely gets you a big standard meal out for two these days.

£50 for drinks in someone's house!? Er... Nope!

If it's a one off, I'd just take the hit and pay.

We still dont know what the 50e covers @@Brooomhilda have you reached out and asked what it covers ?

A. Can you afford it? If yes, go to B. If no, go to D
B. Do you want to go? If yes, go to C. If no, go to D.
C. Go
D. Don't go.

How tines change my hen do was drinks at a pub followed by the wedding at the local church married by a former teacher turned from DH primary school. Reception at the local theatre function room so everyone could walk from one to the other meant guests could mi gle Yes evryone has different ideas considering my giests and their budgets friends from abroad where given my home to save on accomodation costs. Simple, intimate with guests needs considered - and fun!

🤣🤣🤣

Op was talking about a reduction in costs, not suggesting she pay nothing. I personally don’t think that 10-15 quid is equal to the value of a friendship or multiple ones. Objecting as suggested (I’m not drinking so I should pay less) looks objectionable. The idea is you are all contributing to the hen having a fab time, not splitting a bill. Saying ‘I’m not consuming x or y’ so reduce my contribution, when we’re talking about a tenner, is petty unless you really are struggling financially. Op seems to be objecting to paying the same as drinkers - that is very different from not being able to afford it full stop.

50 is not a few quid to us all, particularly when OP cannot partake in any of it.
If I were the bride I would be more than happy for her to just come along and enjoy the company, or sit it out, as she felt most comfortable, but I certainly wouldn't expect her to throw 50 away when she is likely spending money on being at the wedding too.

What is the £50 for?! That's a lot of alcohol and nibbly snacks! Usually £5-10 would cover that if it's at someone's house.

You are in a very priviliged position if you think £50 (for something you aren't going to be able to consume) is "just a few quid"

Is it normal to expect your guests to pay for that kind of event?? Going on a trip or to a meal out or something, or buying drinks at a bar would be different, but if if it is in someone's house and you don't have a choice of what food or drink to buy (as you would in a restaurant) then I think demanding a fee is pretty outrageous and grasping personally.
Editing to add- I wouldn't ask for a discount, that would just cause ill feeking all around. I just wouldn't go.

Op I get it, but just swallow the annoyance and pay. It’s not worth the potential upset for a few quid. This is not a hill to die on.

I would just pay it if I could afford to, and suck up that I might not be getting 100% value for money.

Arranging a hen do for 30 people would be a lot of work, and trying to tailor the contribution to consumption is hard (inevitably people who just like a couple of glasses will get a raw deal vs boozehounds, then there are shades in between).

Maybe they were hoping they by saving costs having it at home, they could go for nice extras whilst keeping it more affordable than going out.

I do hope that there are some lovely activities, decorations and posh food, and that the budget isn’t all booze related. But if you end up feeling like you’re 20 quid down, I’d be minded to try and think of it as a contribution towards your friend having a memorable/lavish party.

PS ignore all the above if the organiser has form for being a CF and you suspect she is turning a profit: in which case, make a deduction!

Sounds a lot but it’s probably about what you’d pay for a meal and drink in a restaurant and will be a whole evening entertainment. Just go and enjoy it. Once you’ve had the baby it won’t be so easy to go out and have a good time with them

It's a hen do. The person having the party isn't arranging anything at all.

Have you ever been to a hen do? Surely you're aware of how they work.