To be so angry sorting out my parents stuff

I understand this to an extent. My parents are still alive but always go on and on about how poor they were, how hard life was. I grew up in my brother’s hand me downs with strong ties at the waist to stop them falling down. Shoes that fell off or rubbed and never fit.

their house is full of shitty antique collectibles they paid a fortune for and are now worth very little.

I get it. Am currently sorting out my DMs house. She was a single Mum and has pleaded poverty for decades. Hasn't bought any Christmas / birthday presents for grandchildren for years. I haven't ever borrowed money from her. In fact quite the opposite. We have kept her supported financially. I never resented it until she hit infirmity and I realised quite how much money and stuff she has tucked away. Her pension is better than mine will ever be despite working for much longer than she ever did. She wasted thousands of pounds on collectibles and jewelry. I have two nice necklaces, a bracelet and set of earrings (which I am quite content with by the way). She has told me how her generation did without. She owned her own home from 45.

I am very conflicted about how I feel about this. I can only dream of the sort of cash she has in retirement and will inherit none of it, as it will be all absorbed in care fees.

I see you. It is tough. And it doesn't make you a bad person to feel like this.

That was their life choice though. Who are we to decide what and how our parents spent their money.
Perhaps they did experience tough times when small with rationing etc and wanted to make a better life as they grew up and have the things they desired for themselves.just another perspective so to speak.

I feel for you sorting/disposing of everything though, it's not a pleasant time.

That sounds really shit, I'm sorry

Have you got any support IRL? Perhaps someone who could help with tip runs?

Emptying a parent’s house is hard at the best of times, especially if they are gone. Lots of emotional triggers and memories.

Sounds like your parents fortunes improved as their family grew up, and they enjoyed spending their disposable income.

It’s just stuff Op, but your post suggests you are attaching significance to it as a reminder of something you feel you missed.

Is it possible that you felt overlooked as a younger child/ teen as your brother needed/ got more attention because of his bouts of ill-health?

Bereavement counselling is often recommended on MN. I have not had it myself, it it may be worth looking into. My GP has referred a friend of mine in the past, so if you want to go down that route, perhaps talk to them first?

I'm sorry you're going through this.