Give my head a wobble - leaving job

Hello, architect here and in a similar situation… I’ve given it a lot of thought over the last couple of years and I’m also planning ooni doing something similar, fed up of the constant deadlines and stress.

your buffer seems a bit small, id work on boosting it for a bit as you don’t want finances hanging over you. Have you put out the feelers for freelance work with small practices to see if a couple of days a week is something they would find useful? Or are you thinking of just doing planning applications as a sole trader? Just consider your PI etc and that sometimes the small jobs can be just as much stress as the big ones.

if it all stacks up and your gut says yes then go for it!

I would do it. Time with your kids is important and you will never get that time back.

What I would do though:

• give yourself six more month in the job to increase your savings

• find a part-time job, that does not have to be related to what you currently do, to at least continue to have some income coming in in while you try to set yourself up as self-employed

Basically do it, but do some planning. Once you have made your decision, six months will go quickly.

I’m with the handful of posters who say go for it - you can make money at anytime in your life , but time with your kids is the one thing you can never make up.

I was a SAHM for 7 years - best years of my life ! And I enjoyed my career pre kids, I work in a different industry now but it’s flexible, school hours, and enjoyable as well. There’s far too much emphasis on slogging away at the rat race on here.

Don’t change your kids schedule if they’re settled to reduce hours. This will make it much more unsettling starting school in September.

Plus it sounds like the money coming in from your self employment will be delayed. You have to put in days or elapsed weeks upfront before you can ask for payment ie not til development is approved. Then clients don’t always pay for 14 days so you def need a buffer to allow for that.

are you sure that working for yourself will actually give you more time for kids? Usually setting up your own business is HARD work - you’re not in control of your hours in the initial phase. If you want time with kids in summer taking unpaid parental leave seems a better solution in the short term.

I feel like financial security of knowing you are able to provide for your kids would long term make you feel much better than spending some extra time with them. 40k is a good wage that a lot of people would love to be on and a lot to lose.

This.

It's never a great time to reduce money, hours etc.

I would go for it, assuming your partner's job is secure.

A HANDFUL OF YEARS

There will come a day
when you will glance
at your child
and be met by an adult.

And it will wipe the very floor
from under your feet
when you realise
in that moment
that you were only ever minding them
until they fly away.

Because back then
when you were so consumed
with the daily grind of parenting

you felt like this was forever.

Yet we know
nothing truly is forever.

Just a handful of years
you will know them as a child
and if you are blessed
many many more
you will know them as an adult.

Drink it in
if you can

drink them in.

You'll wait a year then find something else happening and its not a great time to leave your job. So you'll keep working then you'll realise the kids are getting older and need you less so you keep working...
I know its a hard decision. But time is the only thing thats non negotiable. They need you less as they get older. You never get the younger years back.

Also don't forget the importance of pensions.

Thank you for sharing. When tou say helping with applications, what do you mean?

It is usually quite straight forward and if people need help, wouldn't they go to a surveyor or solicitor?

How often are applications turned down?

I am doing a full time job and being self-employed on a side with the goal to be able to drop a day at my main job as the initial small goal. Well, I can tell you that I technically work two full time jobs but only one of them pays. It took me three years to build enough consistent self-employed income to afford to drop one day. And this is working 40+h on my side gig. I was about to go down to 4 days at work from April but, alas, my partner and I are suddenly separating... so this will no longer be possible as I need to pay a mortgage on a single salary. And this is without a complication of small children.
I am not trying to discourage you but shit happens and being self-employed is not quite what you imagine it to be. 80% of your time is spent on looking for leads, quoting, marketing, accounting... And nobody is paying you for this time.

I would wait and look at taking unpaid parental leave for a month in the summer. I am in a similar position and would love to jump now but we will have so much more in the bank by waiting

You can have wonderful summers in the 6 weeks holiday once your child(ren) are in school if you wait to launch your own business until you've financially recovered from mat leave and won't have the double whammy childcare bills to meet.

Your youngest has settled at nursery so removing/reducing those hours now could unsettle them and it does sound as though your plans are rushed rather than thought through fully. Give it a bit more time.

How about option 3: look for a different job on a similar salary where they will let you be part-time? I don’t think it has to be your current job or quit - look for a more flexible employer and you could have the best of both worlds.

I agree with all your reasoning, but what does your partner think? You need 1000% buy-in from them or it'll be hell.

Oh other thing to think about is your pension if you stop working and also no one ever thinks they’ll get divorced but statistically you have to factor in whether you’d be ok if you had to suddenly go it alone, that may mean keeping your hand in your career, unless your self employed work could be a career in its own right… (and if that’s the case I imagine your earning potential could be even greater than 40k…?)

they might be in Wales - no funding (bar tax free childcare) until after the child turns 3

Can we ask what your current job is and what your self employed job would be?
40k isn’t a huge salary so I assume wouldn’t be that hard to find that again, should your self employed endeavours not work out. You’d likely be able to earn much more if working for yourself but not if you’re expecting to do it only around majority of the time with the kids. Self employment is much much harder than being employed, it’s definitely not the easy option unless you’re doing it as extra pocket money.
only you and your husband know if the finances can work - personally I’d feel extremely nervous without any buffer at all. Even 5k isn’t really enough, what if your boiler goes or your husband gets sick / loses his job?
if it were me I wouldn’t be able to do it and not stress but I may feel more willing to take the risk if I was leaving a job that I knew I could get back easily.

You could apply for a few weeks unpaid parental leave nearer the summer - you are entitled to I think 16 weeks in total up to the DCs age of 16, might be per DC as well.

Unfortunately if your Dcs are settled in nursery and you need a guaranteed income, I think leaving for self employment would be a bit risky at this point.

Would you be refused if you applied for part time, even keeping the 4 days a week could make a difference. Could your DH apply for reduced or compressed as well ?

Do you not get any of the funding for childcare? You should on your income, it would be surprising if your nursery bills are £1800 after that. That would be around £40 a day per child in top ups

What do you do now that you can’t have a side hustle that you start to build now and expand later?

I think it also depends how DH feels but you don't get the time back. I'd investigate part time options, career break, interest only mortgage for a few months, what other savings are possible, can you do stuff for your business in an evening once kids in bed etc. You are in a very expensive chapter and once childcare fees are reduced things will be easier.