Tell them about our holiday

I agree with this post. If they wanted to go there so much then how come they haven't been? I would just book and not tell them!

I don’t understand sorry, what does that mean?

Because it will have to come to a place where he has to assert these boundaries.

How does that work?

How do you think OP can stop two grown adults from booking a holiday? It’s so ridiculous that no one would even think of it as a possibility.

But you can understand how upset they might be that you are going somewhere they already told you they wanted to go to. Presumably, you got this destination idea from them in the first place

Why would the OP have got the idea from them? I've always wanted to go to New Zealand as I lived there as a small child. I think there are enough other sources of info about NZ that if people go there it has nothing to do with me mentioning it! And the same goes for anywhere other than maybe some quite niche destination like say the island of Chausey near the French coast that a lot of people might not have heard of.

And why is the OP not allowed to go there? If she's worried they will join her and her DH, then they can obviously afford it, so they can go by themselves or do an organised trip if they don't want to go as a couple.

I'd not bother saying I was going there until after I got back.

I feel a little guilty knowing it’s something they want to do.

OP why would you feel guilty, have they ever actually booked it and gone, if they really want to go there they would have it at least done some concrete planning to go?

Someone can’t bagsy a whole holiday experience or destination.

YABU to not tell us what these different morals are!

In fairness to OP, she just said that they have different morals to her, not that said morals are directly related to the holiday. Probably some good old fashioned racism/sexism/homophobia.

Perhaps it’s about how many times it’s reasonable to visit the self-service buffet?

Why don’t you just go somewhere else? The world's a big place. If you postpone that destination for a few years the PIL might go there on their own in the meantime, or you can "forget" that they ever mentioned wanting to go there.

Just keep it vague ‘thinking of booking in the summer’ ‘not sure where yet’ and just ask them when/where they are going.

You aren’t obliged to give them the minutiae of your life and holiday plans - and you run the risk of them surprising you (see another thread running at the moment) if you do tell them anything.

Where are you going? Dying to know !

I am so confused. Why can’t you just wait until they book, and book a different week?

Honestly, just tell them.

'We really need to recharge this year so we've decided to go to X, just the two of us. Not sure which hotel etc. exactly, or when exactly we're going. We know you fancy it too so maybe you could go yourselves this year, although we could all go together another time.'

Just own it! Tell them what you're doing but be vague on the details. Be clear it's just the two of you.

That's all you need to do!

I was wondering this as well different ways to spend your time but different morals 🤷‍♀️ !

Once they've been, you can go next year.

They may love it and want to go back next year!

Think it's probably how people dress/politics over the dinner table? Best guess.

Tell them you've booked somewhere else than where you've booked and for a different time.

Don't give them any details of where you booked.

Then go on your holiday and if they book for the other location at the other time, simply say that you were browsing the internet/walking past the travel agents and you spotted a better deal so you changed your booking and it was better value.

Stop sharing information with them if you don't want them tagging along to things you want to share just you and your DH and your kids (if you have any).

Adult Parents have ZERO rights to tag along on holidays with their ADULT kids.

Can you book exactly where you want to go and then casually mention you’ve booked a BnB (sound very vague) for Crete (or wherever) this summer (again sound vague)?

Don’t give any dates or hotel etc and say you are looking forward to some time with your DH it’s been such a busy few months.

You could be very vague and say you’re thinking of travelling around a bit in Crete or whether. Don’t mention anything until a couple of months or even less before you go.

If they want to go there, is there any reason why they haven't just booked and gone? E.g. do they need you around to assist navigating the airport or driving abroad? If not, and they are perfectly capable of going any time they like, I wouldn't tell them beforehand. Go, have a lovely time, and come back with some recommendations to pass on for their trip

I'd go somewhere else this year but show them a lovely holiday to the place you were planning to go to and encourage them to book and treat themselves as you know how much they want to go.

Once they've been, you can go next year.

Hello OP's MIL!

Could you book for two weeks and ask them to join you for second week?

I'd happily tell my parents about my holiday plans because they wouldn't be weird and demand to go on holiday with me. They also wouldn't get angry if I planned to go to a place they'd always wanted to go to but haven't bothered to. OP's in laws sound weird so it would be best to keep quiet about the holiday.

For me this could be a refusal to tip when I tip generously. Or someone who thinks it’s ok to overload multiple plates at an all you can an eat buffet but then leave plates of uneaten food on the table as they’ve ‘paid for it’. Lots of people do it but I think food waste on a large scale is immoral. Both these things would annoy me if I was eating with people most meals for a week. As a one off, I would bite my tongue.

People who put a towel on a sun bed to ‘reserve it’ at 6am and then bugger off all day to the beach is another holiday behaviour I feel is immoral … I think I could list more!