To think my relationship could potentially be manipulative/controlling?

How are you not seeing manipulation or control? Honestly I'm confused

She sounds awful and needs to find somebody who shares her bizarre views. That's not you. Run.

Yes she is controlling! You shouldn't have to alter what you like to do, just because her views on it don't match yours!
And I don't agree for one minute that the OP is trying to change her. He said there was no middle ground or compromise, that's the difference.
Seriously @Ahsoka2001 you really don't want to be in this position in ten years time with children. The whole of your life and those of any children you'd have would be miserable.
There's one thing having faith, but quite another when that faith is borderline fundamentalist! Find someone whose faith and beliefs match your own.
You're going to have to be honest with her.
Good luck 🍀

You have very little in common and don't have any financial ties as you don't live together. Easy split which you should have made about 9 months ago.

It's taken you 10 months to realise she means what she says and won't change her beliefs for you. Stop trying to change her or allowing her beliefs to control your actions.

Dump her and go watch Carol on Netflix.

It's not controlling or abusive, you're just incompatible. She is absolutely deluded by the extreme religious stuff. None of it will change so it's best to just end it now.

Yeah it worrying if this isn't seen as blatant controlling behaviour. Raising kids with these beliefs has to be abusive on some level.

Whatever may be the root cause of her behaviour, you are experiencing it as control.

You are not compatible and you need to get out (unless you want to buy into this cult-like belief system too).

If your 'boundaries' cause your partner to alter their behaviour around something that doesn't or shouldn't affect you, but you guilt or shame them into altering their behaviour anyway then they aren't boundaries, they are control. This woman emotionally manipulated him into not seeing a movie because it had a lesbian storyline. That's control, not boundaries.

If your GF wants to believe the things she does, that's entirely her choice, but trying to push those beliefs onto you, is not OK. You are your own person, you shouldn't have to change your fundamental beliefs for anyone else. Her behaviour isn't healthy and it's controlling. Your views on life don't align with hers. She sees things very black and white and can't or won't see another view point or respect it - that in itself is a huge red flag. The rest of it is small trival things, that on their own probably don't amount to much but altogether, they are all red flags of control. You need to end the relationship now. Your GF is like this after 15 months, imagine what life will look like if you married this woman or had children with her? You'll end up stuck in a miserable relationship with a woman using religion and her beliefs as a way to control and manipulate you. Run, as fast as you can.

You're worth more than this

This is incredibly unhelpful and misogynistic

You’ve fallen for someone who is a fundamentalist Christian and you’re not. A long term relationship can’t possibly work. I don’t want to blame her by calling her controlling but she has a different and very firm set of values.
I’m surprised if she agreed to sex outside marriage- is this a platonic relationship?

I don’t actually think she sounds controlling, but she does have strong boundaries and beliefs she’s communicating to you.
You’re fundamentally incompatible with each other so break it off now and move on.

I may have a slightly different perspective because I was brought up similar and dating in that setting is just so different to any other setting. I don't think that she's necessarily controlling however I don't think you are compatible. When you grow up in a strict church like her it will be her whole entire world, she will be there multiple times a week and her entire friendship circle, family and everything she knows will be there. To walk away from that is a massive deal as you essentially lose your whole support system. It is put upon her from birth that she should be marrying someone within that system and then they should be in fellowship in that church as a family. Whilst people are less often 'cut off' these days most of the socialisation happens at church events so they naturally are out of the circle.

For thst reason you are 'unequally yoked'. You have less conservative views and perhaps go to a more open church where Christianity is important but not so all encompassing. If you consider the future it would be expected that you would probably be in fellowship at the same church as man and wife and you both have very different ideas of what that church should be. If you really loved each other and wanted to be together above all else you could absolutely find a compromise but I'm not convinced from your op that you feel that way. You are so young and there will be someone else that feels for you in that way if this just doesn't feel right.

It's quite unusual to date for 18 months in that world without some discussions of the future. For reference I was married at 20 after 1 year dating and 1 year engaged. We left our very strict church after a few years married but it was an incredibly difficult thing to do.

The issue isn’t that she believes what she does (which she is entitled to do, and I think you’re in dodgy territory if you are taking the stance that your views are objectively correct and she is in the wrong - neither of you are), the issue is that you don’t share fundamental values. Stop trying to change her, and stop resenting that she’s expressing her opinion and beliefs. Just as she should accept that you have your own separate opinions and beliefs that won’t be changing. You’re not compatible. You need to leave.

No, she isn’t a good match for you. she’d be similarly controlling with any joint kids you had after marriage and that would be a big source of conflict.
I would just end the relationship and say that your values are not aligned.

Sounds almost like extremism. We went to a church like this and left. I'd walk away if I were you, she is going to change because it's ingrained into her, it sounds like she doesn't know how to think for herself, she's just doing what she was told.

I really feel for you OP. She sounds impossible to live with. And actually scary.

You sound like you know it has to end. In time I think you'll meet someone else, much more on your wavelength and you'll be truly happy and look back at this person and wonder how you coped.

Definitely leave.. Good luck

What's really important here is she thinks it is perfectly reasonable, and realistic, to change someones core beliefs, change who that person is, in order to 'make them' into an acceptable partner.

The OP obviously wants her to change her beliefs too. He said:

I've talked with her so many times about it and there's simply zero room for compromise or middle ground. I tried explaining that the 7 days could represent millions of years, etc but she has never budged - I have to believe every detail exactly as she does.

He is trying to get her to change her beliefs to fit his so the relationship can work and she is trying to do the same. She was really clear about what she wants, which should be a cue for him to say “Hey, you are really great but I am not that person and never will be. All the best.” Instead he is hanging around in the hope that she is going to change the person she has repeatedly said she is.

It really doesn't matter what she believes though.

What's really important here is she thinks it is perfectly reasonable, and realistic, to change someones core beliefs, change who that person is, in order to 'make them' into an acceptable partner.

That isn't how this works. You accept your partner for who they are, right here and now, not who they might be later on. If they wish to change things about their behaviour or life, and ask for support in doing that - thats one thing, but trying to manipulate someone into changing...

Well thats probably whats behind half the divorces across the world really!

Run away. This woman doesn't love you. She loves herself, and she loves what she thinks she can mould, manipulate and co-erce you into, given time.

You're not the one for her, and she's not the one for you. That's okay, but you have to take the leap now you're at the point of realising, and end it. If you don't, you'll end up married, and having children, with someone who believes homosexuality is wrong and that the earth is 6000 years old.. Is that really what you want your kids to grow up believing?

In all honesty I think the OP’s lack of boundaries is equally at play here. Since 5 months in he has known that she won’t marry someone who has different beliefs to her, she has made it completely clear. As much as he has tried to get her to change HER beliefs to accommodate him, she has declined (as is her right).

He could have decided to say “Actually this is a movie I want to see so while I’m sorry it bothers you, I am going to see it.” That might have caused a conflict but it would have been an informative one, as it might have made it more apparent that they are fundamentally unsuited to each other.

She has no financial or physical hold over him, they don’t have kids, don’t live together. Yes, he cares for her (as she presumably does him as she has not ended the relationship) but at the end of the day, if the only reason he doesn’t stand up for himself is that he doesn’t want the relationship to end, he is not really being controlled. He has agency, he just doesn’t want to accept that exercising it will bring to light irreconcilable differences.

When certain women are rejected or hurt, they tell lies and make accusations about the person who rejected them in order to ruin their reputation or to spite them, and make themselves out to be the victim.

These lies can be very harmful and life destroying. i.e you sexually assaulted or hit them. Or the more basic, you cheated on them etc.

She made him feel like he couldn't go and watch a movie so he turned around and went home. Of course it's controlling.

This relationship can't work. Although you're both religious, she is extreme, and you're not.

Her beliefs are so rigid and strict that nothing you do will ever make her happy. You obviously don't believe what she does, and you can't force someone to believe in something that they don't.

She's preventing you from doing the things you enjoy (which are totally harmless) and doesn't like you talking to or being around other women. She's very unreasonable and controlling.

Honestly, she sounds terrifying.

Run and don't look back!!!