To think this was really spiteful

It is mean to such a small child! A pathetic power trip, horrible. Please give her a sticker and a little wink. It’s great you have her back.

Please speak up
I had to take my dyslexic DC out of mainstream primary because he lost all self esteem, basically wrote himself off. Even now he recalls that he never felt that ( in the 6 years he attended) he received praise or recognition (stickers, a trip to show head teacher a special price of work) despite working very hard and making massive achievements or producing work that he was proud of. He can also roughly recall how many times his friends did receive praise and he did not (for producing work that required much less effort on their part). For a child with dyslexia or dyscalcula, such behaviour from the TA has lifelong impact. That missing praise and encouragement slowing ebbed away his joy of attending school.
Correct response could have been “well we shouldn’t really ask for rewards but yes, I agree with you, you do deserve a sticker for your excellent hardwork today” Poor confused little kid. Power tripping TA with her bloody pack of stickers.

In Victorian times, children were often told 'Those who ask shan't have' but I am shocked to hear of it in the 21st century, especially in this sort of context

Im in my 60s and went to a primary school that seemed to be in a Victorian time warp. Along with the above, we had to sit with our hands on our heads for the rest of the lesson if we yawned, or talked. We were put in the corner and humiliated for getting answers wrong. I struggled terribly with maths and just any encouragement or acknowledgement of trying hard would have meant so much. I’ve never forgotten the cruel words and nastiness I received daily by those teachers, and I have no confidence at all in maths to this day.

Give the little girl some stickers tomorrow , tell her you are really proud of her and she should be proud of herself too for trying so hard yesterday. As others say, you remember these little things . Asking for a sticker was not a crime. The kid is 7 ffs. The TA sounds vile.

Yes what does the class teacher think? Does she not notice this type of behaviour, it’s like bullying

Presumably you work under the direction of a class teacher? Have you brought this up with that person? It's that the person who doesn't care?

People suggesting going straight to the HT with that conversation are being unrealistic. The issue only goes that far when the process has been followed through the hierarchy without success.

Nasty piece of work, she shouldn’t be there…if all the parents knew…..

Exactly. Teach kids to advocate for themselves and ask for what they think they deserve. There is no shame in that!

If the school really are such dicks about calling her out, they won't call you out either. So start calling her out Infront of the kids so they know it's wrong. They will take great joy telling mam and dad how miss lovely TA is sticking up for them against miss meanie TA

It’s fine to ask for what you want thought as you’re polite? We should actually encourage kids to not shy away from asking for what they want, and speaking their minds.

Incredibly mean - can you raise it with the head?
this makes me so sad to hear…. I can imagine how down my daughter would feel if this was her, she’d be so worried she’d done something wrong

She's doing a shit job at preparing kids for life. Can you imagine this happening in the workplace - "you did a great job and deserve a pay rise, but you asked for one, so you won't get one".

Does she only do this to girls? No wonder that women don't feel able to ask for pay rises and get paid less.

Please mention this to the head. Not fair at all.

It's really mean. And I would be very annoyed if my little girl was being taught that things she deserves will be withheld from her if she asks for them.

With the exception of @DelphiniumBlue , who the heck are the 6% of responders who thought you were being unreasonable?

Could they please explain themselves, because I cannot see any reason other than meanness to tell a child that they did deserve a sticker but they are not going to get one just because they asked - and the child hadn't even asked for a sticker, only whether, based on their performance, if they were going to get one. For that, they were punished.

Just mean.

Is she from a different country/culture OP?
The examples you are giving here make me think that. Still not an excuse anyway but I grew up in a country where nursery workers and teachers commonly spoke this way, like a grumpy boss - while still seeing themselves as caring.

Not nice

Can’t help but think about woman not advocating for themselves in salary negotiations for fear of being too greedy. No doubt she’d have done it to a boy too but that shit is ingrained deep and starts early. Yes just a sticker but she was asking about the correct reward for her work. CEO’s do it all the time.

She could have said "yes of course you're getting one - but try to remember not to ask in future".

If they don't take your complaints seriously then they won't take hers seriously either so give the girl her sticker tomorrow. Ridiculous to deny a reward that the TA admitted she was entitled too. Why shouldn't she want a reward for her efforts? Adults do, we want praise, promotions, pay rises and acknowledgement why can't children openly want a reward too.

TA probs rewards herself with a prosecco for a hard week at work but can't extend the same courtesy to the children she's "helping".

Anyway she's spiteful and power trippy and I hope this interaction hasn't knocked the child's confidence too much

Listen, if I ever heard anyone talk to my children like this…. Tell the parents.