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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was really spiteful

289 replies

Stopbeingsomean · 27/01/2025 22:30

I work as a TA in a primary school and something happened today that made me really sad.

I was working with a group of ten children, split between three adults. We were working on subtraction with this particular group who really struggle with maths.

I heard the other TA tell a child she had done very well. The little girl was really proud of herself and had a huge smile on her face and asked “Am I going to get a sticker Miss?” The TA looked very sternly at her and said “Katie, stickers are given out at my discretion. I decide when to give them. I was actually going to give you one, but as you have asked, unfortunately I am not going to give you one now” Honestly she looked devastated. She’s 7 years old.

AIBU to think this was really spiteful?

YABU - She should not have asked.

YANBU - She deserved a sticker

OP posts:
sugarandfudge · 27/01/2025 22:45

A gentle reminder that they shouldn't ask for stickers would have been sufficient, if it's really that important, but to deny her a sticker when she'd earned one is just mean.

I do think I'd have found an excuse to give the girl a sticker myself, whether Ms Meanie liked it or not.

latetothefisting · 27/01/2025 22:44

why are stickers given out at her discretion and not yours given you both do the same job and were working with the kids as a group?
Couldn't you have just given Katie one afterwards?

78Summer · 27/01/2025 22:42

Very spiteful.

MrsFrumble · 27/01/2025 22:42

Ugh. Sounds like she was on a power-trip! But want kind of weirdo adult needs to crush the spirit of a 7 year old to feel important?

Does the other TA have form for this sort of thing? I think you’d be justified in asking them if it was really necessary to respond like that.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/01/2025 22:40

Yes I agree with you OP

Marine30 · 27/01/2025 22:39

At the risk of making myself unpopular with the mean TA I think I’d have gone over and given the little girl a sticker myself. The TA sounds like a right cow.

SalmonEile · 27/01/2025 22:38

I hate these reward systems for this reason, the rewards are bigged up and made a huge deal of for the kids but then they’re expected to act like they don’t want them!!
madness

Alalalala · 27/01/2025 22:38

That’s unpleasant. Have a chat with the head or deputy head or whoever is appropriate/available. She needs feedback that it’s not ok - spiteful little power trips undermining small kids.

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 27/01/2025 22:36

That’s awful. Who does she think she is?? Not a nice person. I’d give that poor child a sticker to cheer her up.

Sprinklecake97 · 27/01/2025 22:34

She's just a child ffs. Knocked that little girls confidence. It's out of order.

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 27/01/2025 22:33

Yes, that's sad. Why take something away that the TA herself said that she deserved.

BobbyPeruLikeTheCountry · 27/01/2025 22:33

Wow. Way to encourage the poor girl…

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 27/01/2025 22:33

Totally unnecessary! She only asked if she was going to get one. Some people just should not work with children!

BobbyDazzler11 · 27/01/2025 22:32

Aw it is abit mean!