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Original poster

Nearly 50 and feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed with life, is this all there is?

238 replies

Summerhopesanddreams · 27/01/2025 21:54

I’m approaching 50 and have worked full time all my life. My children are grown up and have left home but I feel like life never gets any easier.

A typical day is get up early for work, feed the dogs, do a few small jobs around the house, get ready and travel to work.

Spend a full day at work in job that I neither like or dislike, it’s just a job but I need to work financially. Part time isn’t an option, I’m on my own with no entitlement to any benefits as income just above minimum wage.

Travel home, take the dogs for a walk, feed the dogs, hoover up, cleaning, put a wash on and more jobs around the house and garden, life admin such as answering emails, paying bills, online shopping.

Go to bed exhausted and start again the next day.

There is no enjoyment in life and I regularly wonder if things will ever get any better. Is this a common theme these days, anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 27/01/2025 22:33

unsync · 27/01/2025 22:30

Have you had a health check recently? You could be low in Vit D and or iron/ferritin especially if you are peri / meno. That would cause fatigue. Might be an idea to get some bloods done first and go from there?

I'd suggest that as the first thing to check.

Also, OP, do you always feel like this or might part of it be January?

Fuckthecamelyourodeinon · 27/01/2025 22:32

You could be me. I was contemplating emailing the GP to ask for a prescription for antidepressants (fairly sure they will write me one without a consultation as they were keen to do that instead of increasing my HRT - thank goodness for private menopause clinics). I take some encouragement from a PP that this may be just a phase and it will pass as right now my best years are behind me and I've nothing to look forward to.

Blusterylimp · 27/01/2025 22:31

juggleit · 27/01/2025 22:27

Blimey! Dogs are fine left all day and there is more than one for company plus they sleep loads The OP probably does more dog walking than most.
Anyway.,,,back to the point in hand 🙄

Show quote history

No, they are not ok being left all day. Thankfully the OP is a conscientious dog owner. I hope you don’t leave dogs alone all day

unsync · 27/01/2025 22:30

Have you had a health check recently? You could be low in Vit D and or iron/ferritin especially if you are peri / meno. That would cause fatigue. Might be an idea to get some bloods done first and go from there?

Blusterylimp · 27/01/2025 22:30

Summerhopesanddreams · 27/01/2025 22:11

I have a pet sitter and dog walker daily. Hence another reason money is tight but their happiness is my priority and I would rather go without myself.

Show quote history

Well done OP, I’m so pleased you are looking after them so well.

juggleit · 27/01/2025 22:27

Blusterylimp · 27/01/2025 22:08

Missing the point of the thread, but who is looking after your dogs when you are commuting and working all day? I hope they aren’t left on their own all day as that is a crap life for them too and they have no control over it.

Blimey! Dogs are fine left all day and there is more than one for company plus they sleep loads The OP probably does more dog walking than most.
Anyway.,,,back to the point in hand 🙄

Flamingoknees · 27/01/2025 22:26

Do you think you might be depressed OP? Is it worth speaking to your GP?

SparklingSpa · 27/01/2025 22:25

I think a GP appointment is a good idea, it could be peri menopause, low iron or you are depressed.

Original poster
Summerhopesanddreams · 27/01/2025 22:25

Bigearringsbigsmile · 27/01/2025 22:07

You are in a house with no kids. Why is there so much housework? What on earth are you finding to do every day?

My dogs create quite a lot of mess and shedding of hair. I love them so much but have decided they when they eventually pass away, I won’t have anymore. One of them also has medical issues and it’s been incredibly hard work.

OP posts:
CharlotteRumpling · 27/01/2025 22:24

HRT has been a lifesaver for me.

madson · 27/01/2025 22:23

I would really think about going to the GP to commence HRT, although not the answer it will help drive you and give you the desire to try harder with friendships / hobbies

SparklingSpa · 27/01/2025 22:22

Could you reach out to your old friends and see if any of them would like to do something that doesn’t cost much money with you?
Do you like the cinema, it can be good for escaping from your regular life for a few hours.
Joining a gym with a sauna etc is a good suggestion?
Do you see your adult DC, if so could you do some fun cheap stuff with them?

CharlotteRumpling · 27/01/2025 22:21

I am older than you and I don't feel like this at all. I do lots of fun and free things.
I still have DC at home but I certainly don't clean and do laundry and admin daily. Or pay bills ( have you looked at direct debit).
You need to make some new friends. How about a book club or walking club? They are free.

Original poster
Summerhopesanddreams · 27/01/2025 22:21

dreamingofpalms · 27/01/2025 22:05

Do you plan out arrangements with friends in advance to have something to look forward to?
Do you have a regular hobby evening (e.g. rock choir)?
Are you planning any holidays?
A good, fun life takes effort and planning

You’re totally right and I need to get better at this so I have things to look forward to.

OP posts:
Duckingella · 27/01/2025 22:19

You sound like you love animals;could you volunteer at an animal sanctuary one weekend day each week even if it's only a few hours?it would get you out of the drudgery of work/housework and socialising whilst not spending money and it would be rewarding.

PeriPeriMam · 27/01/2025 22:18

Nearly 50 too and my children are (apparently) grown up. I don't feel like this. There must be something that brings joy in. Do the dogs? What else can? Do you need to see a GP? Make sure there's no treatable reason you're so exhausted for starters.

Original poster
Summerhopesanddreams · 27/01/2025 22:17

Thank you for all the pointers. The friends is actually an interesting one. I used to have a couple of good friendship groups but covid kind of finished them off.

We would go out weekly to a local pub or restaurant and I really miss those times. A few of them have new partners in the last few years who have become their priority and two have sadly died.

But I miss the fun and laughter, the chatting on the WhatsApp group.

OP posts:
BrioNotBiro · 27/01/2025 22:16

I remember 50 to 55 being my worst age, but after that things started picking up and early 60s onwards have been brilliant, probably the best time of my life apart from late teens/ 20s.

I think perhaps it's a combination of menopause/empty nest/ career or job going nowhere and a long time till retirement, plus aches and pains beginning to creep up. But hold on in there OP, things do get a lot better.

SparklingSpa · 27/01/2025 22:15

What do you do at the weekend and do you have any friends?

Elizo · 27/01/2025 22:14

Ps agree with those saying that home things sound pretty onerous. Dog walking is quite time consuming but if just you I would have thought 3-4 hours for all admin/ housework per week. It’s me and my teenager and I do a lot of washing but that is mostly his tbh.

HappyHolidai · 27/01/2025 22:13

How do you travel to work? Can you use the time to listen to something that will give you pleasure? Books, podcasts, music, radio... an endless choice and it can be a bit of happiness in something otherwise mundane.

Original poster
Summerhopesanddreams · 27/01/2025 22:11

Blusterylimp · 27/01/2025 22:08

Missing the point of the thread, but who is looking after your dogs when you are commuting and working all day? I hope they aren’t left on their own all day as that is a crap life for them too and they have no control over it.

I have a pet sitter and dog walker daily. Hence another reason money is tight but their happiness is my priority and I would rather go without myself.

OP posts:
bluebalou · 27/01/2025 22:10

Join a gym with a sauna or spa lots of offers on atm, it will help you unwind and relax and sleep better, change up your routine , clean twice a week and quick tidy whilst dinner is cooking who's gonna notice ? Make more time for you baths , walks tv , gym don't have to cost a lot x

CharlotteRumpling · 27/01/2025 22:09

You seem to do a lot of cleaning and dog walking. Neither is compulsory. Or rather it is not compulsory to have dogs. And daily life admin?
Why don't you do an evening class?

Blusterylimp · 27/01/2025 22:08

Missing the point of the thread, but who is looking after your dogs when you are commuting and working all day? I hope they aren’t left on their own all day as that is a crap life for them too and they have no control over it.

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