Nearly 50 and feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed with life, is this all there is?

So true

I wasn’t being patronising actually. It’s all in your interpretation.

This post isn’t about you though.

What’s your diet like? I only ask as my mum cut out sugar when she was in her early 50s and her energy levels soared. What about your sleep? Try looking after yourself and ensure you’re eating a healthy, balanced diet. Enjoy the time making good home cooked meals, put the radio on in the background, sing a long. Get out early into the sunshine. Take vitamin d. Do some sort of yoga or Pilates twice a week - you can do it off YouTube, or even better, find the time to go to a class instead of cleaning. Try to book something fun in at least twice a month on the weekend so you have something to look forward to.

Do you belong to or follow your village or community Facebook page?
There are weekend and evening rambling groups, salsa dancing, gardening clubs, pub quizzes, live music - these are all local groups which are free or a few pounds to join in.
They have what's app groups. I think there is an am dram too, and all manner of sport clubs.

The Facebook page is good because you can follow them, see the meet times and just turn up. People are very friendly or at least quiet but kind.

You do need to plan ahead though. Look at what's coming up locally, get it in your diary.

I agree. I don't live in the UK and it's quite normal here to leave dogs alone at home while working. It really is a modern trend to think that they need to be entertained all day.

i honestly feel the same.

i'm so exhausted, work is very stressful, money is tight, and both my parents are in old age with significant illnesses and need a lot of support.

i'm so down at the moment.

I was in the same situation as you until I stopped full time work at 59 (I took voluntary redundancy, otherwise I would have kept going). I lived payday to payday, but seemed to have money for the occasional treat. I also had elderly, divorced, parents who I needed to visit often (I don't drive), then my DM moved into care and I had to empty her flat, which took months of work every day (still working at that stage), and I'm an only child.

I never felt exhausted at all. However, I'm sure I didn't do as much housework as you, you seem to do a lot for one person. I only did laundry and housework at the weekends, and it took little time. I used to just potter around with my own things and loved my hours away from work. I would suggest a visit to the GP, it's not normal to be exhaused all the time at 50.

@Summerhopesanddreams I'm happy you found my post ok (part of my joy today, so big thanks)

there's a spoken bit in the song Cabaret which has become a bit of a byword for my life "when I go, I'm going like Elsie". It's come to mean, in my family, that I'm going out having the best life I can, it might not be sensible but I'm going to live the rest of my life finding joy.

Stop doing so much bloody housework OP! I bet your house looks like a show home.

I would try to change your job, and try to reconnect with your friends - and join a choir or something, and make some new ones.

What I find is that you have to actively schedule joy into the week rather than wait for it to come along. Just like you have to actively look for friends.

The dogs sound like a full time job in themselves frankly.

Yes! Much as taking kids to clubs, parties, dealing with the PTA, school stuff etc is full on, all of a sudden the kids are grown and it’s like - now what?! It’s not easy.

Do you go for a nice walk at weekends with the dogs. I find being outside in the country or at the coast really uplifting, especially walking MIL's dogs- early morning, quiet beach, cool, fresh air. My spirits soar.

Gosh, if all I needed to do every day was get myself up, take care of a pet and go to work, my life would be so chill and relaxed and I would have so much time for replenishing, happy things. I am 50 but my children are pre teen. I'd exercise. I'd go out and do hobbies. I'd meditate. I think working a NMW job would be hard, granted, especially if you're on your feet or working with the public, but I'm still surprised you don't feel loads more relaxed and happy compared to when your children were young and you were busier.
It very likely is the menopause. That's usually what it is for me.

You are really not getting it.

True.
But the snowdrops are out and the bluebell bulbs are peeking through so spring won't be long.

Maybe doesn't want to leave her dogs after leaving them all day?

@ElvenPowers Gosh, if all I needed to do every day was get myself up, take care of a pet and go to work, my life would be so chill and relaxed and I would have so much time for replenishing, happy things. I am 50 but my children are pre teen. I'd exercise. I'd go out and do hobbies. I'd meditate. I think working a NMW job would be hard, granted, especially if you're on your feet or working with the public, but I'm still surprised you don't feel loads more relaxed and happy compared to when your children were young and you were busier.
It very likely is the menopause. That's usually what it is for me.

Gosh! You've obviously thought long and hard about this

You don't understand because you haven't been through it.
When your kids are actual kids, the busyness and the routines fill life. By necessity you are out and about lots, interacting with people. Home is a busy place full of people and noise and life.

And then they go. And all the noise and busyness goes and you are left thinking " what the hell do I do now?"
Sometimes people ( who haven't been through it!) Say " you'll get your life back" but the life I had before children was a completely different life. I was in my 20s and had all the advantages of youth and everything to look forward to. If I was to get that life back....then bring it on. But actually you get given a completely new life, which is much emptier and quieter with much less to look forward to and you have to build something with it. It is really fucking hard!

January is the hardest month. Everyone feels a bit down right now because we're all skint, ill and freezing. January is drawing to a close.

Don’t you enjoy your dogs ??

Dog walking (in any weather !) us the best part of the day ! It’s not a chore, it’s wonderful 🐕🐕

I do feel that after the menopause life can feel flat. Not depressing as such just flat. It is hard to feel motivated. De you belong to a book club or similar. It’s a way of meeting other women and something to do in the evening. I do sympathise.

Blimey! Dogs are fine left all day

Oh my god no they aren't that's such an upsetting comment.

People who work full -time shouldn't have dogs unless they get a dog walker during the day which thankfully OP has.

What's the point of a pet just to leave them on their own

Gosh you’re only nearly 50 - that’s hardly old! My husband is 47 and he’s just made a massive career move as he was very unhappy with his previous job

my mum changed jobs at 58

it’s not too late to change things! If you’re unhappy with your job that’s a large part of your week that your spending somewhere you don’t even like which is going to just mean your weekends are filled with the dread of Monday looming

you definitely need to find a hobby or something to do at the weekends - what do you enjoy?

what do you do with your annual leave normally??

if your kids are grown up then you can do off peak holidays and find some really good deals if you wanted to travel a bit

Is there any possibility for you to train for promotion or a different job? Things might be easier with some more fun money.

You sound wonderful ,👩‍🚀💛