Nearly 50 and feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed with life, is this all there is?

I suggest seeing a sympathetic gp. You sound low in mood and it is impossible to motivate yourself to do activities when you are depressed (I know)

This is your perfect time to retrain. What field do you work in/what do you do? You deserve by this age to be earning a good wage and have more than enough to live on. I'm 39 and I've spent the last couple of years prioritising myself in terms of progression and ultimately want to earn over £100k. This has been through a couple of qualifications I've done alongside work (I've been fortunate they've paid for these no strings attached) and this has eased the family budget no end as I've had a couple of promotions.
I'm only up to £60k at the moment but want to hit my goal. I keep family time sacred and don't over work (I work to live not the opposite!)
But I definitely want to make life easier long term so I'm trying to put the ground work in now.

If you only earn just over minimum wage I'd maybe focus on what you can do to change that so you can afford the odd weekend away or other fun stuff that gives your life purpose or meaning.

Reading that back I promise that this post was not meant to contain so much info about me - I was just trying to say I identify partly with what you've written and I've felt similar and have tried to use my wage to change that! Hope that makes sense.

This may not be helpful OP but I admire your discipline. I am a total scatterbrain/procrastinator and would love to have more control so I admire you for that.
Have you looked at courses that you may fancy doing for pleasure or better job prospects. Realistically you have a good 20 years of work ahead +as do I and I often think should I retrain.
Definitely go to the GP too. But don't be hard on yourself you sound like you have everything ticking over and that sounds perfect to someone who has lived for years in chaos.

Yes, already the nasty comments!! Very insensitive

Yes totally missing the point of the thread and utterly insensitive. This thread is about the OP and her feelings.

Do you meet up with friends? Go on holiday? I joined a walking group 18 months ago and it’s been amazing for socialising. We meet 2-3 times a week, lovely country walks, pub, it’s lovely. So glad I joined. My kids are grown up though youngest (17) still at home. I do like my job, so that helps but you need some pleasures in life too.

I was feeling like this and had some bloods done. They found a few things like low iron so I've had meds and feeling much better. Worth a check up.

Cos who are you? Another judgemental snout.

You deffo clean too much. Once a week is enough. Also, having dogs is a job in itself!

Spend more time on yourself. Like, have a bath and watch a film instead of cleaning. Pay someone to walk your dogs. Find a job you actually like or go part time.

Kindly, I think we as adults forget that we have to create moments of happiness in our own lives. Find things to be excited about, create plans to look forward too. There was a great response to a post here on Mumsnet years ago that I have never forgotten, where the person said everyone should have short term, medium term and long term things to look forward to.

Short term could be doing the daily Wordle, knowing you are cooking your favourite meal for yourself for dinner tonight, or having fresh sheets on the bed that day. Medium term could be looking forward to dinner or watching a movie/play/band with friends on Saturday night or Sunday Brunch etc. Or looking forward to working in the garden, or reading a book you just bought. Long term is the holiday you have planned, or long weekend away or people coming to stay or even the next season of your fav tv show coming soon.

it can feel overwhelming to start (eg - “I can’t book tickets with friends to the play I like as I have no friends to invite”) but start small. Try and think of little things that bring you joy, and do more of them. Decorate for Christmas/Easter. Valentine’s Day coming up - make it a real treat for YOU and save to get take away. Find an audio book you like to listen to when walking the dogs or when cleaning the house. Keep your favourite snacks on hand only for a bad day. Allow yourself dessert once a week. Plan for it, pick your favourite ones and that night is a treat for you.

It sounds silly, but make a list of potential friends. Old ones you just drifted away from in covid - pick one, and text, noting time has flown but you’d love to reconnect and do they have time to call or have coffee. Next week, text another. Be realistic that some people will have moved on, or now might be a bad time for some, but some might welcome contact again. Look to make friends in other ways - anyone at work? Ever wanted to try yoga or something? Pick a course to do, even if you don’t think you’ll like it. You’ll meet people and have more interesting stories to tell! Cooking courses can be fun.

With what you say about work, I’d also be proactive about making sure you are setting aside enough to pay off your mortgage and into a pension and can circle a retirement date. Even if it is years away, you know WHY you are working, and when you can stop, and if it seems along time, it might be motivating to get another job that interests you more and pays more, which would cut down the time you need to work….

You honestly do have more control over your joy than you think. Unfortunately it requires effort to get some traction, but once you have ‘the bones’ in place - friends to text, a yoga/painting/cooking class every week, long weekends to look forward to, I think you’ll find you might still have the odd bad day, or bad moment, but these odd occasions won’t make you think you have a bad life.

If it's just you, surely there's no laundry every night? Do you need to clean and hoover daily? You should have at least 3 nights a week with nothing but rest or films or a hobby...
But maybe the issue isn't getting rest, but funding enjoyment? How is your social life?

HRT - try it, you can stop if it does not help
Get Vit D
B12 and folate
Ferritin
Iron checked

I think winter is hard, hopefully as the weather improves you’ll feel a little better. Think about a D3 supplement and maybe B12, see the dr for some reassurance. Routine and boredom makes me tired and if I don’t give myself a shake now and again I can get very ground down. I know money is tight but even a weekend away could give you a lift and give you time to think about making small changes.

on a practical level, get a robot hoover. It will save you so much time, especially with dogs. Maybe you don’t need the house to be as clean, do less even just for a couple of days. I hope you feel better soon.

I am the same age as you and the tiredness you describe is a shock. After having a life of energy, children and busyness it’s a hard adjustment. I am very active but I am having to cut back on everything. No doubt you want to go out and live a fulfilling life, you just don’t have the petrol in the tank to do it!

Message your old friends and suggest a drink, you have nothing to lose. Tell them you miss their company. If you can make some friends this will give you a natural boost, things to look forward to. Try to meet at the weekends when you have more energy.

Perhaps organise a small party and invite your adult children. Start getting to know your neighbours and community. Join a book club once a month, that will be doable.

In the evenings you are probably going to be too tired to go out realistically, maybe the summer will make it easier, what if you could do just one caring and lovely thing for yourself each night.
A bubbly bath. A delicious dinner such as fish and chips. A glass of something lovely on a Friday. A face mask etc. Save up for a massage or a pedicure. Human touch is very important if you live alone.

If you are not being cared for by you, then you will start to feel very neglected and miserable, like a dog with no treats or walks day in and day out. You deserve better op,

I do feel the same as you. I’m exhausted a lot - drained is the word. You are not alone. Can you downsize? Move elsewhere? I would be looking at big changes if need be too.

I could not live without meaningful work. It’s essential to me. That doesn’t mean it has to be what I do now (resuscitating people), I asked got meaning from being a receptionist. But I need it.

This is a great thread with some brilliant posters and will probably help countless people.
OP I get it. Although I frame the monotony as contentment and security. I read a lot which helps me understand the human condition. Lives of quiet desperation. I count my blessings!
Read about Happiness and how we can try and achieve it. It has to be worked on in these times where we have so much time to contemplate our lives. No wonder humans invented all the religions - to give ourselves a sense of purpose and attempt to ascribe some meaning to our lives.
And yes. Vitamin D.

Op, I have 2 great friendship groups, we messenge daily and plan to meet up mid-week, and go out at weekends. Eg went to London recently to see nutcracker. But all 3 of us are wrung out by all the fighting we have to do and chasing and sorting bits. (One friend has dd really struggling MH, the other fights ex-Dh financially).

I was waiting for an annual 2nd osteoporosis day clinic iv infusion, which has been delayed because my vit d was so low. Made sense! No wonder I was so run down! But I'd requested vit d 3 times from Gp and been refused.

Sometimes it feels as if I'm fighting constantly, harder than I should have to, ti get what I should've been given easily, if others were doing their jobs properly.

I find life really miserable ATM. The boring monotony. Even having something to look forward to doesn't help the daily drudge.

I'm fighting everyone, always. hospitals, GP's, nurses etc. all of them just don't do their job properly. Medical conditions that I'm fighting, phoning yet again to find someone still hadn't sent the blood test request form to my GP. No accountability is even taken by nhs for such incompetence. These are basic things they should be doing.

Imagine in my job if I did 11 steps of say payroll, but forgot to send it to the bank. So no step 12, no one got paid?

Fighting others incompetence is wearing and drags you down.

Will read with interest.

Talking about your dog reminded me.
When I worked I had a cat.
He weighed 33lbs.
Once when I got home from a stressful day at the office, I walked in to my entire flat having been TP’d. Everywhere.
I thought my friends had pranked me.
It was the cat.
He always entertained himself.

I am also nearly fifty and feel much the same as you OP. Life feels so flat, monotonous and quite lonely sometimes. I have younger tween age children who give me purpose and keep me busy but often feel bored of the work and chores routine.
my job is ok in terms of pay and great in flexibility but that makes me feel trapped sometimes. I have friends but not always easy to make plans to see them
i have a list of things I want to do/ places to go but don’t seem to have the energy or freedom to do them.
ive taken lots of inspiration and positivity from this threads though and feels like I need to start on the hrt that’s sitting in my cupboard!
all the best op

I think you need friends, OP. Can you find something dog centered like a walking group?

What's changed that you were fine with this life before and now you're not? As you could have found a different job you preferred and with less of a commute, but you didn't.

I don’t know what age/breed your dogs are but they’re obviously very important to you. I felt very much like you do, until I started doing dog agility. It’s been brilliant for my mental health, and you meet so many people through it, who are all dog crazy so the RIGHT kind of people 😉. It also seems to be something that ‘ladies of a certain age’ do, I’m mid forties and one of the younger ones!

Addition to my previous post. You love your dogs I'm sure but is it the looking after the dogs just one step too many making you exhausted?

@Summerhopesanddreams I had a five year old at your age, 3 dogs, two cats and around 100 geese, duck, hens and guinea fowl. Also worked.

You really need to see your GP for some tests. You're not right.

As for the social life post COVID yep things did fall apart. However, our WhatsApp group has limped along remotely. This Friday seven of us are having lunch together first time in years. It's been torturous at times organisation wise.

So get something going.