Nearly 50 and feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed with life, is this all there is?

Many many diogs are left while people go to work - most I assume work close by so don't add in a 2 hour commute on top of an 6/8 hour day. Yes I have left my dog and he sleeps and we know this as we have a doggy cam. The OP has more than one so they are in their pack and have company. Not sure what the outrage is about tbh.

That sounds a bit patronising. What should she do rent a local friend? She's saying she has nothing to do locally not that she has no friends.

I had an idea the other day, OP, to bring a bit of interest and joy to my life which doesn't cost too much or take too much effort. And that is to go through a list of the "100 films to see before you die" using whatever source you want - BFI, Empire or even just IMDB.

I am currently working my way through the last 20 years foreign film Oscar winners, I’m loving it. This week I feel like I’ve travelled to Denmark, Spain, Chilie etc etc.. Before that I Googled best films about poverty and watched loads of those from all over the world. It’s my little thing that I look forward to, it doesn’t cost much, I often subscribe to an app for a month and then cancel it.

The thing is lots of posters have made brilliant suggestions but it can be hard to start doing any of them when you get in a rut like this. OP I really hope you can find a way to bring a little joy and fun into your life.

There's just nothing to do at weekend or evening where I live. It's either go out for a meal and spend £80 you didn't need to or go to the gym. Is that it? Is that supposed to be the highlight of peoples lives?

Do you have any local friends, if not could you get some?

I had an idea the other day, OP, to bring a bit of interest and joy to my life which doesn't cost too much or take too much effort. And that is to go through a list of the "100 films to see before you die" using whatever source you want - BFI, Empire or even just IMDB. DH hasn't got a very wide repertoire in the type of films he likes to watch - he'd watch gangster or crime thrillers every time and actually we both tend to watch box sets rather than movies these dayss. I wouldn't say we are natural film buffs. I usually just end up flicking through channels watching shite every night rather than making a conscious choice to look for something of quality. Going through a list will make me try stuff I wouldn't have normally chosen, eg some anime films. We have netflix, sky and amazon video subscriptions so lots of things will be included on those. If they're not I'll wait until they appear.

This came about because I realised there are some films which EVERYBODY seems to have seen, which I never have, and if ever i mention it to someone they can't believe I've never seen it. eg Toy Story, the Terminator etc etc.

I'm 38 and feel the same.

The idea of pottery or weaving my evenings away makes me want to contact Dignitas.

There's just nothing to do at weekend or evening where I live. It's either go out for a meal and spend £80 you didn't need to or go to the gym. Is that it? Is that supposed to be the highlight of peoples lives?

It's depressing.

I'm off back under my misery rock now.

Did you mean to say you were 39 or is it a typo and you are 49? Because if you are only 39 you are still a youngster. Do not underestimate how different you will feel in 10 years' time. About lots of things. I think it's quite normal after 30 years of working to have just had enough of it and usually at 49 a lot have women have already been through the stage of looking to switch careers or upskill themselves. Many at 49 are evaluating their financial situations and taking a much closer look at their financial path to retirement.

Hormonal changes are a total bitch for women at 49. I didn't understand at all when I was 39 when older women would be open to talking about perimenopause and menopause and how difficult they found the change. I thought they were exaggerating or, I'm embarrassed to admit this now, even being a bit of a wet lettuce. I just thought they were moaners or should just pull themselves together or something. Well, I was TOTALLY naiive.

She has said a few times that she loves her dogs so how would that make her happier?

No, don’t do that OP. No one will ever love you as much as your dogs ❤️

Get rid of the dogs and there is hours of your life back…

I think the lodger idea could be a good one?

Also following venues/places/events that you like on social media, especially local events. You can hear about what’s happening and plan ahead so that you have the money set aside and dog-care arranged.

As I said op I feel the same in some ways. Can you and the dogs hire a camper van for the weekend and have a trip together? Or a dog friendly hotel?
Friends to plan things with should be a priority. They are a source of emotional replenishment!

Plan your own sleepovers, movie nights, cinema visits, bbqs basically everything you did for your dc now needs to be done for YOU. It is your turn.

This month use your savings as a happy fund, have a good think how you can use that money just for one or two months to bring happiness to your life - not the house, the dogs or anything else. Just for you. It might be giant fluffy towels for the baths you are going to start having, a night in a hotel in February or some plants for your house and flowers to brighten your day.

Buy some 🌼 daffodils today - they are a £1 and instantly cheer up the kitchen. Put them in every room! You deserve it op!

Any ball and chain?
I find when mature women drop this, their mood gradually improves.
Doesn't matter if menopause is present.
😊

Friends - vital - make sure you commit to staying socially connected on a regular basis. If there are some people you haven't seen in a long time and want to, pick up the phone! Write a "social prescription" for yourself, once a month - dinner, cinema, with a friend. Loneliness is dangerous.

I feel the same. I just find life so dull. Everything is the same all the time even if you do have hobbies. Nothing exciting ever happens. I think as you get older it just becomes apparent what a disappointment it is. Being on your own doesn’t help either. I find it all a bit lonely.

I wouldn’t skip the GP. I think it’s good to start by ruling out any other issues for tiredness such as thyroid or vitamin/iron deficiencies

Honestly, I felt flat and tired before I started HRT and it’s made such a difference.

I had full bloods done too but it was purely hormonal.

I think without kids there should be less housework and more time for exercise/socialising/hobbies so I’d definitely prioritise this and healthy eating.

My dog is a messy, stinky lab but most housework is the kids..

Glad you’ve been able to take comments on board.

Of couree you probably feel lonely and the change in your kids moving out is going to make you sad, but things will balance out and you can be happy again.

This is a new chapter for you - and you get to write it to a degree!

I would skip the GP’s for now and give yourself a goal of 3 months to sleep better, eat better, pour into yourself and set some new healthy habits.

If after that you still feel exhausted / low, get a blood panel done.

I think it’s very positive to empower yourself and when you can see the results in healthy body, healthy mind without resorting to prescriptions etc, it really does give you a boost and feeling of control.

Start with vitamin d!

Good luck x

I felt like this until I started on a new healthy eating and fitness drive. First 2 weeks was hell and I was so exhausted, achy and miserable but now into week 5 and I am feeling much more energetic. Maybe try going for a health kick?

Good luck OP. I'm sure things are going to improve for you!

OP, I'm a bit older than you, but live alone with a dog. It can be easy for life to just become a routine round of this-then this-then this, especially during the short grey days of winter. I also have to have something to look forward to in order to have the energy to get through the days.

I don't clean. At least, I do (my adult kids are prone to dropping in without notice and I don't want them to think their mum lives in squalor), but I do one big clean through every six weeks or so and then just keep the kitchen and bathroom from descent into typhoid territory. I buy myself a nice magazine or a book I'm looking forward to reading to give myself an incentive. And I give myself little 'mini holidays at home' every so often, where I will take the dog out and then go home back to bed with a TV series or a book and a bed picnic or a box of chocolates. Dog comes in with me and we cuddle up, listen to the rain and congratulate ourselves on not having to live with anyone!

Basically it comes down to find your joy. Make yourself the centre of your world now and again, and give yourself incentives. Oh, and get your hormones checked.

The lodger would have to be a dog lover by the sound of it.

That's an idea I've known a few who do that. Four nights a week.

Could you take in a lodger for extra money, it could be a Mon-Friday lodger or someone who worked evenings (restaurant worker) if you didn’t want them there all the time, it might also be a bit of extra company