Nearly 50 and feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed with life, is this all there is?

Yeah probably 🙄
Why don't you start a thread on the ethics of leaving dogs alone rather than go completely off topic and detail a thread. Get back to Reddit

Exercise will give you more energy

I think what OP is feeling is totally normal . You get caught in a cycle of drudgery that you don't think you can escape from . I can relate .
As a fellow live along dog owner the biggest change I made was incorporating my dogs into my social life . Every Monday morning now I go for breakfast in a local garden centre that allows dogs . I then joined a local dog walking group and we go out every wed and Sunday . Often followed by coffee in again a dog loving cafe .
If I'm not doing anything else that week it gives me structure . It's even better in the summer when four of us meet daily at the beach at 7am to dog walk and chat before the day begins.
Small changes OP can make a huge difference . Don't hoover the carpet every day use that time to take a hot bath / shower , have coffee and a magazine in a quiet corner . Take yourself to the cinema once a week . I really think you'll feel more energised when you do things for you .

Are you introvert or extrovert? Do you replenish your batteries by seeking out alone time - or do you look for company?

I’m the latter and for me the answer to feeling like this is to connect with other people, people who make me laugh mostly, who I can be a bit silly with, but also talk freely about life, the universe and everything. To me, you sound a bit lonely and lacking easy company since your children moved away. Maybe it’s time to cultivate neglected friendships, or even make some new ones?

Agree with other posters, head to the doctor as you shouldn’t be so exhausted at your age, you’re still young! Also you don’t have to be limited to jobs in your area, with so many jobs you can wfh there are opportunities all over the country, depending on your skill set. I think your life sounds lovely (apart from your exhaustion!) but that’s because I’d love a dog and can’t have one in my home!

You are caring for others 247 around the clock, paid and unpaid. It’s not surprising your own body is saying enough.

We can’t run a car without petrol.

I am teaching myself to delegate, the first question I ask myself now is who else can do this? Why am I the default. It’s taken 50 years to consider that very valid question.

We are now downsizing. It will be a squeeze when the dc return from uni, but I can’t continue our current hours, I have realised 75 hours a week is unsustainable over fifty, the pressure is unsustainable. There is no time for anything that makes life worth living.

This time of year is tough at the best of times, things will ease as the spring arrives. I wonder often if our bodies are starved of nutrients after giving birth and never fully recover.

I hope you can find a way to make some of that caring about you as you recover - I am so sorry it’s so hard at the moment 💐💐

You leave your poor dog alone for hours what else is for him to do but sleep? If he's sleeping all the time he is probably depressed.

Not sure where you live but I live in the US. Every rescue I have volunteered with and every vet I know would agree with the RSPCA. Dogs can get bored and lonely and develop anxiety if left alone for hours and hours, especially indoors.

@Yogaatsunrise your post really resonated me and made me feel quite emotional.

I'm 48 and have been off sick from work this past week totally burnt out and with anxiety levels off the scale from worrying about everything and everyone. Supporting older unwell parents, children at uni working as a nurse and being in perimenopause do not make a happy combination.

Throw in the ridiculous cost of living and a lack of funds to be able to plan a holiday and have something to look forward to and it all feels overwhelming.

@GreenTeaLikesMe

a really wise supportive post 😊

OP, I think it's great that you've engaged so proactively with the thread (not easy to do when you're feeling down....) and I think your attitude re the dogs is the right one: take good care of the dogs while they are alive but not replace them with more dogs after they pass away.

I dunno, the dog thing can go both ways. I've seen people whose social lives have really opened up as a result of having a dog, because it has brought them into contact with so many other dog owners and is a readymade conversation starter. I've also seen situations where dog ownership has become quite isolating, because the time, care, money required to look after the dog has meant less money for other activities and the constant pressure to never leave the dog for too long creates a lot of issues. I think it really depends on your local area and whether you and other local dog-owners enjoy dog-centered social activities or not, but it sounds like it's not working for you, so the "no more dogs after this" plan is probably a wise one.

I think finding something social to do with the dogs is a good idea, but I'd also try to find some non-dog-related ways to have a social life and meet new people, because otherwise you could be back to square one once your dogs pass away and you are no longer a dog owner!

I lost a few friends over COVID, because the pandemic sent a few people quite peculiar (several people I know either became judgmental germaphobes who seemed to want lockdowns to go on for ever and ever, OR loony vaccine-skeptics who thought the virus was some sort of conspiracy, and then started getting into a lot of other far-right politics). You are not alone if you find that your social life took a bit of a nose dive since 2020. I made a conscious effort to join some clubs and groups and build things up again, and you know what, it worked! You can do this.

This 👏👏👏
I almost replied to the poster who callously suggested you get rid of your dogs but I deleted it because it made me see red. I have one dog and five dogs in the past who passed away due to old age. A couple were rescues and the others I brought up from being puppies. There is no way I would part with a dog of mine, I even take my dog on holiday with me to the coast! I always tell people that dogs are a big commitment in terms of time and money but the love, loyalty, companionship and laughs they give in return make up for all the time and money many, many times over.

@GreenTeaLikesMe I don't bloody know do i 😂

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/measuringnationalwellbeing/atwhatageispersonalwellbeingthehighest

Look at the graph

When I started with the question of "what's the meaning of life?" It led me on a spiritual journey of faith and I eventually found God and although my life is quite boring and stressful God grounds me as this life isn't all there is.

So, you don’t want craft, you don’t want meals out, and you don’t want the gym….what do you want?

The truth is we give our everything to our children, our husbands, our work, our animals and after decades of giving we forget what our needs are, we lose touch with what our own happiness even looks like, we take pleasure in other people’s fulfilment and then wonder why our own cup runs dry and our energy evaporates.

We need to come first at some point.

When I realised I prioritised even the bins over my own well being I realised I had to change something - actually lots of things.

I couldn’t even think of what made me happy and joyful when asked, I couldn’t name a single long term or short term idea I would personally love to do. I felt like I was having a rebirth of sorts when I started to make time for myself even if at the beginning I didn’t know what to even do with it!

I will send some 🌼 your way, and hope you can find ways to create the happiness you create for others just for you. We hopefully have a long life left, we have plenty of time to master this next stage.

49 was the age women felt the least life satisfaction! I think there is something in that - it’s a U shape and we are at the bottom right now. Not exactly surprising to us!

I agree. I ended up having a blood transfusion at your age OP because I was so low.

My dogs do fuck all when I'm in the house. They love their walks but also love laying on the sofas. I sometimes wish I could trade places when I'm off to work.

I don’t know of anyone has suggested it but have you had your iron levels checked recently? Mine got very low due to heavy periods and I was absolutely exhausted all the time. Iron tablets sorted it out, the difference was amazing.

That sounds a bit patronising. What should she do rent a local friend? She's saying she has nothing to do locally not that she has no friends.

Not at all patronising.

If she has friends then she could have them over for games nights, movie evenings, meet for walks and a chat, all things that don’t cost £80 and can be fun.

The dogs are the love of her life! How would removing the one source of unconditional love make op happier?! I take it you don’t have dogs.