To not cook for DP when I’m working 6 weeks in a row without a single day off and a 6 hour commute?

He is really not treating you with love and kindness and respect.
Regardless of if he needs to rest on his 4 days off - everyone needs to eat he s responsible for what he puts in his mouth jt s hard to believe someone could get to their mid twenties and not know how to throw some healthy food together.

Mot worrying is the fact that he can see you strung out working all hours and not do somthing like prep m dinner for you or make a huge pasta bake to last a few days for both of you. How can he know that you are overloaded in a caring job and not think to run a bath or clean the house. It s concerning that he doesn't notice or care enough that you are working so hard you are ill.

His main concern is whether the flat is clean and there s food for him!

It s really important that you decide now if this is future or not. Healthcare workers are immensely caring which leaves you vulnerable to being taken advantage of by people in your life that see that and absorb all your love and energy but give nothing back.

You need an equal partner.

You also need to consider healthy boundaries and self respect. Take your dad s offer. Step away from this relationship and this unhealthy dynamic.
Consider what your want in your next relationship. It sounds like you are so busy being a slave to your current partner (in my mind he is not a partner as partners are loving fair respectful and kind) that you might be blinkered to any oppprtunities to love with someone else who actually is good for you.

Shake off this relationship as a learning experience but think about what dynamics lead to you ending up in this dysfunction. Is there a counselling service with your uni? It might be worth using it to help manage the stress of your course and figure your head out a bit.

Don't think it s your body protecting you from getting pregnant. You still might. Take precautions and do not have a baby with this man. You have plenty of time to have babies and when you are in a paid position you can look to freezing eggs or medical support to plan for when you are ready.
Finally k hope you feel better soon. I promise losing the dead weight of the abusive man child will make you feel lighter and stronger and more empowered.

I'm curious what's made you put up with this for so long. Do you have low self-esteem? Have you felt lonely and desperate to be in a relationship? When you move in with a man, it's really important to talk first about how it's going to be and to establish and set boundaries and expectations. In a loving mutually supportive relationship these flex all the time, but it's very important things are set up to be fair at the start.

I don’t mean this harshly but what has happened in your life that makes you think this is how you deserve to be treated? Leave him today, go live near your uni and ask the uni if they have a counselling service. He has outrageously taken advantage of you… and you have let him. Time to move on up!

Op, a word of warning from me. If he seems to have an epiphany and promise s to change his ways and says and does all the right things and is suddenly perfect husband father material DO NOT FALL FOR IT. he will revert once he's got you Nd then once you are up the duff there is no escape. Leave him, and leave him for good.

Exactly! It’s like a back to the future moment.

DO NOT HAVE A BABY WITH THIS MAN
HONESTLY JUST GET RID
NEVER GET WITH A MAN WHO IS INCAPABLE OF FEEDING HIMSELF!

Please, please organise some counselling for yourself so you can understand why you have put up with this man's terrible treatment of you for so long.

My husband is Muslim and has always made the dinner and looked after our kids and house when I was out working. Goes without saying. It’s probs why we’ve been happily married for over 25 years.

Please do not go back to this man! He is a lazy, controlling, self-centred moron and you deserve so much more.
You sound exhausted and my first thought when I read your post was to want to give you a hug; I can personally relate to your situation but I didn't realise until it was too late. I spent decades in regret.
Focus on yourself and your studies.

He is traditional when it suits him. If he was genuinely traditional he would want you to stay home so he could go out and graft and provide for you. He wouldnt expect you to be out of the house working and studying these crazy hours.

You schedule sounds utterly exhausting and he sounds utterly selfish. Don't go back to him unless he is prepared to change his way and go at least 50/50 on household chores including cooking.

To be honest men like him rarely change. He may fake it for a short time but will definately go back to being selfish and lazy as he is. I'd have zero respect for someone like this.

You need to decide whats right for you and makes changes to make your life easier.

Having a baby with this man isnt the answer. A baby needs time and attention which you wont be able to provide in the current situation. You can only spread yourself so far. Babys are exhausting and expensive.

Being the selectively traditional man your boyfriend is (I wont say partner as it doesnt sound like a partnership) he will very likely leave you do deal with the babys needs.

How long do you have left at uni? It might be worth moving closer if you can. The commute sounds horrendous and tiring too.

I think it's right that you reconsider what your reality as a parent would be with a partner like that but I really just wanted to comment to say that I'm dyspraxic and tried lessons years ago but gave up pretty quick because my nerves couldn't handle how flustered it made me. I thought driving just wasn't for me. I was convinced to try automatic lessons last year and now have my test booked 😃 I can drive at the grand age of 43! Even if I don't pass first time, I will pass. My instructor is so patient and has got me through a few wobbles of self doubt. Try automatic! Makes such a difference.

If you go back to him and stay with him, you will mess your life up. You are running around like a head less chicken, almost running your self into the ground, and he wants a friggin lasagna after he’s spent half a day standing around and posing at the gym?!!! He’s a horrible person.

Please don’t go back to him and please don’t have a baby with him, because he will end up treating you worse than this, and this is already really really bad.

And it doesn’t matter if you love him, that he loves you, because love is never ever enough, ever. Please put your self first.

This man doesn’t value you or care about you.

Bin his sorry ass
good luck with the rest of your course

Eurgh. He sounds awful.

l wouldn't be surprised if he gradually forgets how to do lots of other normal household chores if you stay together and have children. E.g. "Ah, you're so much better at bedtime. You do it". Please leave and focus on your career and yourself until a person worth your time comes along.

Do not go back, do not have a child with him!! This is a real life glimpse in to your future with him!!

I just wanted to say - you’re absolutely amazing! You’re working so hard to make a career and future for yourself. Please don’t go back to this absolute arsehole. He does not love you or care for you. He is using you. Is it possible for you to live with your dad while you finish your degree? Is your dad in a position to support you a little so you can give up the weekend job? Or we reduce to one day a week so you can have a day off? I agree- you’re going to make yourself ill if you carry on how you are. Wishing you luck and sending hugs. X

End your relationship. Simple. It will only get worse if you stay and you’ll end up pregnant and trapped. Your period is late due to stress etc - it’s not your body ‘ protecting you from the partner’ - your friend is an idiot. Stay with your dad and get your life back. You’re 26 ffs, try and have some fun !

You can do so much better than this guy, please don’t stay with him just because of fertility concerns, it would be a damn sight easier to be a single mum than to have to take care of all of his demands as well. You know he won’t lift a finger to help with any child because he’s “traditional”.

Stay with your dad or get a room in your uni town. Gaining those three hours a day will make everything so much less stressful, you can finish your degree and get the career and life you deserve

This is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to you.

Okay sounds awful but. You could have not found this out till you had a kid and been trapped with this tosser for life.

He polices your body. Won't lift a finger to help you.

OP, he barely cares if you live or die.

Utter user.

Give your eventual children a better father than this.

The things excused in the name of "tradition." Lots of things have been "traditional" in times and places - anti-black racism, hitting children, the ostracism of people living with disabilities. Why is this absolute parasitism seen as somehow a valid cultural choice? He doesn't get to have a "tradition" of using your time, labour and energy and then STILL criticising your appearance. Fuck him. If your house made you this ill you'd move. Move on from him. If he was a perfume you'd toss it in the bin. So bin him. You still have time to find a better partner for kids, less time than some maybe, but some time. Use it better than this. Good on your dad for helping you.

“Traditional”? Is he fuck. He’s a lazy, useless sack of shit. And it’s deliberate. All of it. Don’t go back to him.

Time to move on. He's a man child, immature and wanting it all as long as you are providing it for him -money and a servant partner.

He is the worst kind of man to have children with. He'll expect you to be superwoman, cooking meals, caring for the children and working full time in a stressful job. Expect no empathy, or sympathy. He's already told you who he is.

You are only 26. Even with a possible short time conception span, you have still options like freezing your eggs. I'll be investing money in a good reputable fertility clinic to get tests done to see where you stand.

What you can't do is continue a relationship with this man child. You have a great supporting father, make the break. Your mental health will improve in no time.

OK @ZanyPlumExpert what your partner has done is give you a little taste of what your life would be like if you had children with him. Really, you should be grateful to him for that.

Now go home to your father.

RUN now! Do NOT have a baby with him!
It will be 1000x worse, if he is "traditional" he needs a wife who doesn't want her own career, and that doesn't seem ro be you.
If you get pregnant, you will be miserable and exhausted the rest of your life!

What a lazy arse man you have!! If he wants traditional he needs to be providing funds so you don’t have to work.