Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandparents “Names”… do we get a choice?

138 replies

JTyler25 · 27/01/2025 19:54

Okay relatively lighthearted. I’m just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.

My husband and I are expecting our first baby. Both sets of parents are very excited- this will be the first grandchild on both sides.

My parents have said they’d love to be called Granny and Grandad.

We we’re with my husbands parents earlier and it came up, and his mum said they want to be known as Nana and Grumpy.

Grumpy? I…hate that 🤣🙈

So not Grandad, or Gramps, or Pops… Grumpy. GRUMPY.

So our child (in a few years of course- not expecting a speaking baby!) will literally be saying “Hi Grumpy, can we go play?” And “Grumpy can I have a snack?”

And are we meant to say “right come on, we’re going to Nana and Grumpys!”

Argh I just really hate it. Why can’t he just be Grandad?

But like… do we get a say in this? Could my husband have a word and say no? Or is it up to them what they want to be referred as?

YABU- stop being so precious and let them be called what they want by their grandchild

YANBU- no it’s weird

OP posts:
Cornishclio · 27/01/2025 23:23

RosesAndHellebores · 27/01/2025 20:21

I'd have more of an issue with yiur assumption that your child doesn't say please when asking Grumpy for something. That would make me a very grumpy grannie and I'd pull the child up every time. "Doesn't mummy teach you to say please?".

That is a bit passive aggressive. Does Daddy not have any responsibility for teaching good manners?

Beesandhoney123 · 27/01/2025 23:12

When the baby can talk, he or she will call them what they will. Let them get on with it

Just be grateful they don't want yo ve called mummy and daddy, which my inlaws decided would be perfect and didn't think bizarre in the slightest.
It didn't happen.

Cornishclio · 27/01/2025 23:12

Goodness the only stipulation I made when our grandchildren were born was I preferred Nanny to Granny. The other Nanny also made the same stipulation but we came up with additional ways to distinguish between us. I guess though if he wants to be called Grumpy (why would he?) then does it really matter to you? If he is adamant you can always refer to him as Grandad or whoever and let him elaborate as they get older. They aren't going to be calling him anything for a few years until they can talk anyway.

P00hsticks · 27/01/2025 23:08

In your shoes I'd just be relieved that both sets of parents opted for different choices....

SerafinasGoose · 27/01/2025 23:06

Emu. I love Emu!

SunnyWarrington · 27/01/2025 23:06

My grandparents were Granny and Bub, and Grandmum and Poom. My parents have non-traditional monikers also... I think Grumpy is lovely.

gcat16 · 27/01/2025 23:00

My MIL wanted to be called Mama - which I vetoed for obvious reasons. Then when DD was about 14 months decided to be Meema but my DD called her Moomoo instead which has stuck. MIL hates it, and now wants to be MiMi but we think it's very cute!

ThatEllie · 27/01/2025 22:58

I mean… as long as you’re not using them for childcare I’d just use the standard Grandma/Grandpa (or whatever you prefer) and your child will follow suit. My mother thinks mine might call her “Mimi.”* She will be lucky to see them once a year so that will absolutely not be happening. Her name doesn’t even have an M in it. 🙄

*Because she “is NOT old and never wanted grandchildren anyway, is NOT a grandmother, you’d better not make me a grandmother, no one will ever call me Granny, you can grow old with your pets,” etc etc. Of course, now that she is 73 and I am 30 and her friends have grandchildren she’s changed her tune somewhat.

tedibear · 27/01/2025 22:55

That is a bit strange I wouldn't be keen on that either but I suppose it's up to him. Although I do know someone that gets his grandkids to call him grumps.

My fil wanted to be called grandpa but my daughter just kept calling him grandad (that's what she called my dad). So u might find ur child will not use it or will use what they use for the other grandparents.

I did use to refer to him as grandpa but it made no difference she still always said grandad.

Crazybaby123 · 27/01/2025 22:45

This is hilarious. I would be loving this and laughing to myself everytime we went to see them.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/01/2025 22:39

Literally just choked on my cuppa @DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe

Was laughing so much it came down my nose

FindusMakesPancakes · 27/01/2025 22:38

FishFashFosh · 27/01/2025 22:25

You're right that it's ridiculous. Requesting to be called Grumpy actually made me laugh out loud.

I'd just go with it though. MIL is nanny which I irrationally hate but I couldn't be arsed arguing with her over it.

I hate nanny too. My MiL similarly decided it was what she wanted. It grates every time.

My father was Grandpa, but known by some as Grumpy. Because he was. I actually like it and would be ok with it, on the proviso that he wasn't allowed to live up to the name.

Phthia · 27/01/2025 22:38

Does your husband knows where this comes from? What did he call his grandparents?

NewBrightonEel · 27/01/2025 22:34

An old colleague of mine declared himself Poppa Smurf when his daughter was pregnant - way worse than Grumpy - I left the job so don't know if the child called him it. I wanted to be Nanna but my granddaughter always called me Nanny, and my other six followed suit - so Grumpy may not get a choice!

FishFashFosh · 27/01/2025 22:25

You're right that it's ridiculous. Requesting to be called Grumpy actually made me laugh out loud.

I'd just go with it though. MIL is nanny which I irrationally hate but I couldn't be arsed arguing with her over it.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 27/01/2025 22:24

GeeGee - grumpy grandad?

Original poster
JTyler25 · 27/01/2025 22:24

Aftergloww · 27/01/2025 21:57

I only put my foot down when my insane ex MIL wanted my DD to call her mum. That’s not happening.

My mum refused to have any sort of nicknames and just wanted to be called by her first name. I thought it was a bit odd but whatever.

Her wanting to be called Mum is crazy! And I DEFINITELY would be putting my foot down to that as well… wow!

OP posts:
Thelimitdoesnotexist9 · 27/01/2025 22:22

Haha @PigInAHouse surely it’s the same one!! More than one in this world would be very strange 🤣

Thepollonator · 27/01/2025 22:21

Thelimitdoesnotexist9 · 27/01/2025 22:11

My dad is called Andy and insists on being called Gandy - which is really weird to shout out loud but there ya go 🤣

My hubby is Andy and is Grandy to our GC. 😁

Purinea · 27/01/2025 22:21

I (lightheartedly) put my foot down about a ridiculous suggestion and said pick something else. I couldn’t have my poor child going around referring to their GPs as that. We had two other suggestions I hated, more a long the grumpy line. I didn’t want to be negative or argue so I either don’t refer to DGP by title or I just say grandma/pa. DGP can use what they want, but they’ve just started saying grandma/pa too. Realistically dc will likely pick something else anyway

PigInAHouse · 27/01/2025 22:20

Thelimitdoesnotexist9 · 27/01/2025 22:11

My dad is called Andy and insists on being called Gandy - which is really weird to shout out loud but there ya go 🤣

How weird, I know a Gandy (Andy) too!

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 27/01/2025 22:20

My grandparents' names were Pearl and Dean. Obviously, I didn't call them that; I called them Mama and Papapapapapapapapapapapapaaaaaaaaaa Grin

Mumof2girls2121 · 27/01/2025 22:20

Kid will call them what they want to. My kids have a great nickname for their grandad which stuck from when my daughter was about 3 😂 I wouldn’t worry

PigInAHouse · 27/01/2025 22:20

RosesAndHellebores · 27/01/2025 20:21

I'd have more of an issue with yiur assumption that your child doesn't say please when asking Grumpy for something. That would make me a very grumpy grannie and I'd pull the child up every time. "Doesn't mummy teach you to say please?".

Doesn’t Daddy have any responsibility to teach his children manners?

Whoarethoseguys · 27/01/2025 22:20

Yes they should be able to pick their own names. Just as you decide if you want to be mum, mummy, mama etc. Also you wouldn't tell anyone else what to call themselves so really i don't think you should choose grandparents names either