Page 2 | To ask what do you talk about with your friends?

Errors · 2025-01-27T18:34:14+00:00

Inspired by a few threads I have seen about friends that can be draining because they can complain too much. Do you think you have ever been that friend? Do you have a friend like that? If you have a friend that you see on a regular basis, how much of that time is spent moaning about different stuff? Is it ok to moan a little and get things off your chest or should you try and be positive at all times? Most of my friends have different tastes to me in a lot of things - which is fine. But then I worry that our time is spent just complaining about things. I quite like a deep conversation about in depth topics, but I worry my friends would be bored by this so don’t tend to talk about those kinds of things. What are the content of your conversations?

takealettermsjones · 27/01/2025 19:04

My bestie and I moan constantly, but we're hilarious (maybe only to each other 🤣) so it's moaning in a funny way. We're not actually getting down in the dumps about it. And we can cover a broad range of moanable topics!

Original poster

Errors · 27/01/2025 19:04

GretchenWienersHair · 27/01/2025 19:03

It depends on the friend. I have one friend who usually wants to have a moan/vent about her husband, so I’m her sounding board for that. A group of friends I went to school with and we often reminisce and laugh about our childhoods or things that are nostalgic to us. Another friend who has similar worldly interests to me, so we talk politics, literature, films (and often the links between them all), another who has been single for years and is now re-finding herself, so we talk about sex a lot. Different friends, different chats!

so we talk politics, literature, films (and often the links between them all)

This is the sort of stuff I love! Comparing all these different things with one another, art imitating life etc.
The only person I know who likes talking this way is my friend’s partner so it’s usually over text

OP posts:

Original poster

Errors · 27/01/2025 19:03

JaceLancs · 27/01/2025 19:01

Holidays
hobbies
relationships
work
health
families
pets
lego
style and beauty
local community issues
wider society issues

This all sounds very reasonable. But when you talk about families and relationships, for example, is it usually positive stuff? Not saying it’s never ok to moan of course, I think we all need it sometimes but perhaps not all the time?

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GretchenWienersHair · 27/01/2025 19:03

It depends on the friend. I have one friend who usually wants to have a moan/vent about her husband, so I’m her sounding board for that. A group of friends I went to school with and we often reminisce and laugh about our childhoods or things that are nostalgic to us. Another friend who has similar worldly interests to me, so we talk politics, literature, films (and often the links between them all), another who has been single for years and is now re-finding herself, so we talk about sex a lot. Different friends, different chats!

JaceLancs · 27/01/2025 19:01

Holidays
hobbies
relationships
work
health
families
pets
lego
style and beauty
local community issues
wider society issues

Original poster

Errors · 27/01/2025 19:01

CharlotteRumpling · 27/01/2025 18:54

I find moaning about health very tedious. Not all that interested in other people's kids either.

I mostly talk about books and travel and interesting things we do.

Yes I think I do too but I don’t want to appear unsupportive either.
Her partner currently has a very non-serious minor health condition and she updates me on it every week. I don’t really know what to say about it anymore.

We also have a mutual friend who has just been through something quite traumatic - she has been leaning on both of us (to be expected!) but perhaps on my other friend more. Thing is, my other friend is constantly complaining about it but I don’t know what to tell her. I just think if you don’t want to be there for someone alll the time because you find it suffocating (which is understandable) that perhaps you should tell them?

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CharlotteRumpling · 27/01/2025 18:59

Errors · 27/01/2025 18:53

I have a dear friend whom I have known for a long time and I see regularly who complains quite a lot about everyone. And it can get quite bitchy sometimes. I don’t think I would mind occasionally, but as she goes in to such detail on things it can take her an hour to explain something that you could sum up in one sentence, for example.

This sounds v dull. I have to say I am not interested in friends who dont have similar interests any more.

CharlotteRumpling · 27/01/2025 18:54

I find moaning about health very tedious. Not all that interested in other people's kids either.

I mostly talk about books and travel and interesting things we do.

Redcandlescandal · 27/01/2025 18:53

Health
Family
Holidays
Work
Hobbies
Theatre

Original poster

Errors · 27/01/2025 18:53

I have a dear friend whom I have known for a long time and I see regularly who complains quite a lot about everyone. And it can get quite bitchy sometimes. I don’t think I would mind occasionally, but as she goes in to such detail on things it can take her an hour to explain something that you could sum up in one sentence, for example.

OP posts:

Original poster

Errors · 27/01/2025 18:51

Perhaps deep isn’t the correct word.
But things like politics, view on the world, views on history, opinions on books, bit of philosophy, hopes and dreams for the future - that type of thing. Rather than talking about other people all the time. Especially if it is bitchy or about someone I don’t know - “my boss’ friend’s wife needs a knee replacement” for example

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Createausername1970 · 27/01/2025 18:50

We usually chat about our respective husbands and kids, enquire about mutual friends we haven't seen for a while, chat about TV programmes and books we think are worth watching or reading, have a moan about work, and pick each others brains about any health issues or other problems, holidays, upcoming birthdays or other plans. The usual, I guess?

Moaning is very welcomed - but we have mutual friends who make an art form out of it, so none of the regular mix go too overboard with it, but we know we can when required.

CharlotteRumpling · 27/01/2025 18:41

What are deep topics according to you?

CharlotteRumpling · 27/01/2025 18:37

Books
Films
Travel
Theatre
Work
Families

I can take a bit of moaning and venting but not for hours.