I THINK I FINALLY HAD ENOUGH

@Number40

You know, sometimes it takes for us to be in the 'depths' before we can clearly see what lies before us. When we are 'normal' (ie not ill, not exhausted, etc) we have emotional mechanisms we put up that 'make everything rosy'. But when we are ill or weak, our usual mechanisms to hide the truth from ourselves don't function and we see the real truth of what's going on in our lives.

The real truth is that he is a prick and you need to leave. These things are true and you know that now to a much deeper degree.

Now, you just have to find your way out. I don't mean tomorrow, but I do mean to seriously make a plan to get out.

What do you think you need to do that? There is a world of wisdom and experience here. Don't be afraid to ask whatever questions you need to ask.

Errrmm... I would hope the child's father?

Get rid Op there is not excuse. I have had a kidney infection for the last week and having only 1 kidney it has hit me hard. Dispite having MS my husband has not let me lift a finger. I tried today to do stuff and he just points back to the sofa or send me to bed. He has sorted DD out everyday day for school and cooked her meals. He has been to the shops when I have fancied something different (only twice I have not been ordering him to do this everyday)

the things is Op if anyone praises him he would say he is a husband and a dad and with that comes responsibilities and one of those is to take over when your partner is ill.

What would your other half do if you needed to go into hospital?

the pot was still dirty in the sink since Saturday/Sunday! ) had some fish fingers, fruit ( pear skins on the kitchen floor not picked up), half an egg shell near the bin

Disgusting.

He sees you as his skivvy. Would give me the ick.

When you're feeling better, please ask on your thread for some practical support for leaving him.

Flu is absolutely awful. I'm willing to bet that should your delightful OH catch it, you won't see him out of bed for at least a week or two and you'll be expected to do everything of course.

You do realize that male human beings are perfectly capable of organizing a meal for a child? Why does anybody but the husband need to do this?

oh yeah, that sounds like flu alright. he should be taking care of you and the child, not the other way around.
if people haven't had it, they think it's a bad cold. it's so much worse than that.
I've got quite a weak chest, and when I got it, I could barely get out of bed for three weeks. the bathroom is literally next to the bedroom, and on one occasion I was weighing up whether wetting the bed or dragging my sorry backside about 6 feet would cause me the most discomfort.
my lovely husband made sure I had everything I needed, and took care of things. because that's what a good partner does when their other half is so miserably ill.

bet he expects you to wait on him hand and foot if he's got so much as a sniffle

Leaving the kitchen in a state after his piss poor attempts at feeding your DC makes me despise him all the more on your behalf! Like you need to come downstairs to that mess.

Stop trying to find excuses for this knuckle dragging twunt.

Perhaps the father could stop acting like a sperm donor and feed his own child if he's that concerned.

Can a family member come and get you so you can go somewhere to recover in peace before you ditch this pitiful excuse for a partner?

perhaps he is concerned about the child’s welfare?

Perhaps he could look after the child then? Since he’s the father?

Go with your gut

Yes, cough all over him. Give the tosser the lurge.

If this is completely out of character, brought on by stress of managing DS for a few days on his own when he’s not used to it, and he apologises profusely, I’d probably get over it. However, I strongly suspect this is not the case and he’s just a dick. Once you get rid of the virus I suggest getting rid of the man too.

@Number40 I am really sorry now you have clarified that your ‘D’ P is indeed in the same house. He is a dreadful father and he should be utterly ashamed that he has treated you like this.

I hope you feel better soon 💐

Are you actually high? Like, seriously?

The bit that is annoying me most is that it doesn't even make sense. Zero moral responsibilities? Zero moral quandaries or zero moral standards might work (though would presumably still be untrue)

Who is he; boyfriend/husband? Your kid will love him even if you two aren't together anymore, presumably the man will be parenting the child.
You clearly both hate each other, so just start the divorce/dumping once you're well again. Life is for enjoying.

What a cock.

That sounds like proper flu and you should be resting as much as you can. HE should be making you both lunch.

What an absolute fucking cock. What about his moral responsibilities to his wife and child!

Put this on the back burner until you feel better and then make some decisions about how you deal with this.

It doesn’t have to be a female family member or friend at all, it just sounded as though he didn’t live there, I agree that he should step up even if he doesn’t live there but I know that there are men who wouldn’t.

I was concerned for the child.

HE has the fxking audacity tell me today to go and cook DS (4) some noodles

And what was this prince going to be doing instead?

Get yourself better and start planning

Could you get a female family member or friend to make sure your child has a proper meal?

Thats what you meant, isn’t it? Because otherwise the child has been starved for four days as heaven forbid his actual father might have to feed him.

Now you've said he's the child's father, I'm even more appalled at his attitude toward you OP! And in the words of my FIL, I hope his balls fester and never drop off!!