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Original poster

For asking to be put on the mortgage?

85 replies

Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 15:55

Posting for friend.

Friend has been with her DP for 2 years, she moved into his place 1 year ago. Not married, no children. Before that friend lived at home with parents.

Her DP has a shared ownership owning 70% of the property and 30% owned by a housing association that rent is paid to. Her DP pays the mortgage and they split the rent and bills. Because of this friend has managed to save a chunk of money.

Her DP eventually wants to buy more shares of the property but has never mentioned my friend being a part of this. He saves a little every month but realistically wouldn’t be able to mortgage the whole property even if he did get enough of a deposit to (need 5% of the remaining value).

Friend was wondering if it’s cheeky to ask him if she could be put on his mortgage then she would happily put down the money for the deposit and they can jointly own the whole property - no more paying rent. They could speak to somebody who can help them ring fence her DPs current equity and her deposit and then pay the remaining mortgage 50/50.

YABU - this should be led by her DP and she will see grabby
YANBU - it makes sense

OP posts:
mindutopia · 27/01/2025 17:39

I mean, I guess she could ask, but it might not be a great move for their relationship. I absolutely never in a million years would entertain the idea of buying a house with someone I’d only been in a relationship with for 2 years, living with for 1. They are still early days. Personally, I wouldn’t buy property with someone I wasn’t married to. It’s a big financial and legal commitment.

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 17:34

devastatedagain · 27/01/2025 17:31

Your "friend" is a CF. Why can't she buy her own bloody house?

Both her and her DP can’t afford to fully buy a house individually but would be able to if they went together.
Cheeky fucker I’d say is harsh as she all along saw pros and cons to both sides but now is towards the side that the risks outweigh the rewards for her DP so is shelving the idea for now.

OP posts:
devastatedagain · 27/01/2025 17:31

Your "friend" is a CF. Why can't she buy her own bloody house?

Madeinbuck · 27/01/2025 17:29

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Original poster
Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 17:28

She’s decided to pause the idea until either he mentions it or they begin planning to marry.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 17:27

Chiseltip · 27/01/2025 17:23

You can't "just put yourself" on a Mortgage. It's not up to the "owner", it's the lenders decision. You'd have to apply for a mortgage.(joint) and pass all checks and affordability criteria. You would than be liable for the mortgage.

It's a complex process, with MASSIVE liabilities for the Lender if they fail to carry out due diligence and follow all legal processes.

"Just put your name on" 🙄

Sorry if I said it really flippantly, I’m a mortgage adviser and they’d pass affordability and credit afaik but this was more about theoretically broaching the subject.

OP posts:
Chiseltip · 27/01/2025 17:23

You can't "just put yourself" on a Mortgage. It's not up to the "owner", it's the lenders decision. You'd have to apply for a mortgage.(joint) and pass all checks and affordability criteria. You would than be liable for the mortgage.

It's a complex process, with MASSIVE liabilities for the Lender if they fail to carry out due diligence and follow all legal processes.

"Just put your name on" 🙄

Madeinbuck · 27/01/2025 17:18

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AwaitingFreedom · 27/01/2025 16:49

The house will automatically become half hers without going on the deeds/mortgage after being married for several years. Her main aim should be marriage especially if she wants children, otherwise she will be very vulnerable.

Save now, invest after marriage.

Arlanymor · 27/01/2025 16:49

Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 16:31

This is my advice really. She could even look at a small one bed flat in a cheaper area as an investment property. In that case though would she share the proceeds because in a way he is facilitating that?

Show quote history

She wouldn’t be obliged to no, particularly not if they split up, but if they stayed together and decided to pool resources then they might well choose to merge resources. I think it’s good advice to build herself a nest egg - she can look at putting her savings into a high interest account to really maximise the value.

Ablondiebutagoody · 27/01/2025 16:37

Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 16:30

He wants to stop paying rent rather than have 70% ownership but can’t buy the housing association out alone. He also would have to pay less monthly mortgage instalments as she would then start paying half the monthly payments.

Show quote history

PP just explained it much better than I could. Why would he want to get into such a web of legal agreements? It makes it sound grabby and that she's trying to pull something. She needs to stop thinking about getting a slice of his house and invest the money she's saving elsewhere.

Createausername1970 · 27/01/2025 16:36

At the point they seriously discuss marriage, kids and a long term future, then this suggestion could form part of that conversation.

Prior to that, carry on as they are now.

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 16:35

ForRealCat · 27/01/2025 16:33

Just from personal experience I owned a property with an ex- he only owned a 10% share. When we split up he continued living with me until the property was sold (with me paying 90% of his housing costs), when we'd get an offer he'd reject it as too low. It was only the threat of a court order that eventually made him accept an offer. Yes you can ring-fence your deposit and make sure you are financially protected- but it is an absolute fucking cage. I would never recommend it to anyone as a 'good' option

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Thanks for your perspective. I also jointly owned a property with an ex and it all went sour, I was lucky that we were both on the same page and accepted an offer quickly but it still is such a tie to somebody!

OP posts:
ForRealCat · 27/01/2025 16:33

Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 16:06

She would look at ring fencing the deposit and mortgage payments so he’d never lose out on that part, but the risk for him is that he could lose his entire home if they split up as he wouldn’t be accepted for the 100% mortgage. That’s the main factor stopping her from broaching the conversation with him she doesn’t want to look grabby.

Show quote history

Just from personal experience I owned a property with an ex- he only owned a 10% share. When we split up he continued living with me until the property was sold (with me paying 90% of his housing costs), when we'd get an offer he'd reject it as too low. It was only the threat of a court order that eventually made him accept an offer. Yes you can ring-fence your deposit and make sure you are financially protected- but it is an absolute fucking cage. I would never recommend it to anyone as a 'good' option

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 16:31

Arlanymor · 27/01/2025 16:09

After two years and no marriage on the cards I would just advise her to keep on saving as much as she can. It’s insurance for the future depending. Could be a future deposit for the two of them or something to help her if she needs to go it alone.

This is my advice really. She could even look at a small one bed flat in a cheaper area as an investment property. In that case though would she share the proceeds because in a way he is facilitating that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 16:30

Ablondiebutagoody · 27/01/2025 16:26

What's in it for him?

He wants to stop paying rent rather than have 70% ownership but can’t buy the housing association out alone. He also would have to pay less monthly mortgage instalments as she would then start paying half the monthly payments.

OP posts:
ForRealCat · 27/01/2025 16:29

Together 2 years no way would I consider this if I was either your friend or her partner. Normally you would say go on the mortgage if you are subsidising the house. She is not it is allowing her to save, she is not financially disadvantaged.

Whilst a deed of trust can protect her share, if the relationship were to break down she would need him to buy her out (which he can't afford to do), or the place would have to be sold which could leave her financially tied to him for months.

I would suggest she continues to save. If she wants to get on the property ladder get a smaller place on her own, or put the money into high interest savings or investments.

2 years is too soon in my opinion to tie yourself to someone like this

Ablondiebutagoody · 27/01/2025 16:26

What's in it for him?

GeneralPeter · 27/01/2025 16:11

Sounds reasonable to me. She could buy the remaining 30%, register the split of ownership 30:70 with the land registry, and go on the mortgage paying 30% of the mortgage (or 50% if that feels fairer).

She would become liable for 100% of the debt though (both parties are liable for the full amount), so she'd have to trust him and the relationship. Getting married could be a good idea.

Madeinbuck · 27/01/2025 16:09

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Arlanymor · 27/01/2025 16:09

After two years and no marriage on the cards I would just advise her to keep on saving as much as she can. It’s insurance for the future depending. Could be a future deposit for the two of them or something to help her if she needs to go it alone.

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 16:06

rwalker · 27/01/2025 16:03

Of course it would be a good deal for her to go on the mortgage she has everything to gain and nothing to lose
he on the other hand has already paid some of the mortgage and presumably a deposit
has nothing to gain but a lot to lose

She would look at ring fencing the deposit and mortgage payments so he’d never lose out on that part, but the risk for him is that he could lose his entire home if they split up as he wouldn’t be accepted for the 100% mortgage. That’s the main factor stopping her from broaching the conversation with him she doesn’t want to look grabby.

OP posts:
Madeinbuck · 27/01/2025 16:05

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rwalker · 27/01/2025 16:03

Of course it would be a good deal for her to go on the mortgage she has everything to gain and nothing to lose
he on the other hand has already paid some of the mortgage and presumably a deposit
has nothing to gain but a lot to lose

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 27/01/2025 16:03

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Ah okay, so maybe it’s too early in the relationship to consider this, but perhaps in the future is what you mean?

Yes she feels very lucky to be paying so little rent

OP posts:
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