How do I handle this with my 2 year old? I am despairing

One of my mum friends just gave up and took her toddler to nursery with no clothes on. He never did it again.

My son used to protest and make a lot of noise but he physically would actually let me go through the motions of getting him changed. So if there's no physical resistance you could try powering through and just doing it.

Have you tried dressing him on a windowsill? I was about 7 months pregnant when my twins were that age so it's was tough doing it on my own. I lifted them on the windowsill as they couldn't escape and I didn't have to bend over. Also you can distract with what's out the window, a bird, a car, a dog etc

Yes the 'make it a game' worked a treat with my nightmare toddler. On days when I'd really had it I just wrapped her in a blanket in her nappy, shoved her in the car [appropriately seated in car seat with blanket atop straps] and then got her changed in the car park at nursery. She was usually jolted out of routine enough on those days to be compliant, but if she hadn't been I would happily have taken her into nursery half dressed and told them she was having one of her silly days.

My now 20m old is just getting into this phase, his favourite thing is to rip off his clothes just as I've turned round to pick up the car keys 😪

Sorry OP - it’s frustrating but so normal.

New rule - getting dressed is the first thing we do when we wake up.
Lay out joggers with pants on top and hoodie/ jumper with t shirt on top in his room at bedtime so everything is ready to go.
Socks next to shoes by the door.

Go in and help him get dressed when he wakes up, then you move on to teeth/breakfast etc.

Once he is dressed he gets to choose a sticker to put on his jumper or some other small reward.

NEVER deviate from the expectation that getting dressed is the first thing to be done when you get up, including at weekends, until it is completely embedded (and he is old enough to manage the dressing part alone!)

good luck

Classic. My twins were like this. Making it into a game really helped. Silly voices, pretend to be a robot, put socks on their hands etc. I appreciate we’re not always in the mood to play games at times like this, but it beats the alternative.

That's all well and good but the OP has been clear that part of the issue is that when she looks away for 2 seconds or maybe goes for a wee, all the clothes are coming off again.

Obviously in theory you are right. In practice sometimes "just do it" is quite literally impossible if you also want to arrive to your own workplace on time.

I have huge sympathy OP - but it is a stage, you'll get there

I wouldn't encourage a child to think that it's clean to get up our of bed and go out in those bed clothes. This is why people start having hygiene issues with their older children. Teach them to be clean and hygienic from the offset. Then people wonder why their husband won't wash his balls.

Agree with leaving it until you're just about to leave. Get your shoes and coat and bag ready, bundle into clothes and shoes and then straight outside and off you go.

Put him in things that are harder to get out of he dungarees with tight clips

I feel your pain though. My just turned 4yo still has mornings like this

The 7yo requires loads of encouragement and checking to get dressed by herself - so annoying

My son is a bit younger, not quite two yet and he occasionally does this. In his case it’s definitely just a case of pushing boundaries he thinks it’s funny and runs away, very frustrating when in a rush. The one guaranteed way to get him to put the clothes on is when I pretend to put his clothes on myself. “Oh well DS mummy will just have to wear your trousers today…” as I pretend to start putting my leg in his trousers. his toddler posessiveness kicks in and he runs over shouting noooo mine!!!

Oh PP, I remember feeling exactly like you quite recently. My DD is 2.5 and went through the same thing in Oct/Nov time. She also did it at bedtime and I can remember vividly that it took 25 mins to get her pj bottoms on and within 60 seconds they were off again. I gave up and put her in her duvet in her top and nappy and left the trousers within reach and within 5 mins she’d put them on herself 🤣🤣🤣. The good news is it did not last for long and she grew out of it very quickly. Luckily, everything at this age seems to be a “phase”.Fingers crossed for you.

I had this with my daughter. She'd dance around in her nappy when I was trying to dress her which would be quite cute if I didn't also have to get ready for work.

I know this won't work for every child but I introduced a star jar and she'd get a star every time she got dressed without a fuss. When the jar was full she'd get a treat of some sort. I also have a 'chore chart' where she can slide a button from a cross to a tick when the activity is completed. If she ticks off everything, she gets a sticker.

Yes, I'm an ex early years / primary teacher

I work in a nursery and wouldn’t judge. Far from it as I’d be relieved my dad wasn’t the only one! Most memorable was when she was not far off three, with snow lying on the ground, she went to nursery in her nappy, wellies and dressing gown. Of course, when the nursery staff offered to dress her she was totally game! And more recently she got as far as the car park in her PJs, but then got dressed in the car.

I don’t allow telly until she’s ready, so if she leaves it too late so be it.

@madmumofteens that was our tidying up song! Everything had to be in the toy box by the time it finished!

OP - DD1 was like this. Just didn’t want to wear clothes. I told her one day to look at the window and if she could see anyone outside not wearing clothes, she wouldn’t have to put hers on. She stood there looking for a good few minutes before sighing and giving up.

Also i wouldn't avoid the problem by putting him to bed in clothes or going to nursery in pjs

All that does is teach him that resisting you works & means he doesn't have to get dressed. If really its about not liking the drop to nursery he will probably just replace it with another form of resistance like car seat refusal.

You are just storing up the problem of teaching him obedience and actually its MUCH harder to sort behaviour out later on.

One of my sisters boys was like this. She bought lovely jogging bottoms in different colours and nice soft long sleeve tops that were comfortable enough for PJs but smart enough for daytime. So she didn't have to dress him in morning. He was fine about getting changed in the evening at bathtime apparently.

As pp said it’s about being firm. Don’t give your child the option to mess around. You dress them even if it involves kicking and screaming. They soon get used to it

This... children aren't born obedient! Through parenting you teach them that its quicker/easier to just follow instructions. That resistance is futile & that refusing to do as you are told will result in unpleasant consequences.

This made my morning.

So true.

I normally have something I know my son will really want to do/play with. Usually his drawing board he plays on in the car. And I remind him that it's waiting but we 'have to get dressed before we can leave the house' usually (not always) works.

Part of parenting a 2 year old is often you have to just make them do stuff they don't want to do. Sometimes they might cry about it. Can you add in some consequences if he doesn't comply ora reward eg if you can do it quickly there's time for an extra story before we go.

As a pp said, its normal to get cross with a toddler behaving like a monkey.

Apt.

I used to sing songs with mine when they were toddlers e.g. okey-cokey "left arm in" was when left sleeve went on (it did not come off again with "left arm out"!) then silly dancing with the "shake it all" about stage.

You don't give them the opportunity because you get them dressed and leave the house immediately. So you have everything ready before they go. As soon as you've managed to set off without them undressing, you praise them with whatever ridiculous treat for managing to leave without undressing. Even if they're screaming.

Get him dressed last.

I can always tell when my 2 year old is going to have a difficult nursery drop off and it starts with getting dressed he'll throw his trousers across the room or go and hide his shoes. So maybe yes he associates it with you going off to work. Unreasonable little dictators made me laugh

My DD (3) goes through stages like this. I've sent her in before in pyjamas, or wrangled the bottoms off and just put joggers on with a pyjama top on top. No one will notice. She will also reliably choose the most weather inappropriate outfit and tantrum to wear it.

The one thing (and I know sugar, screen time and all that) but honestly sometimes the only thing that has worked and got her out of the house is milk and a biscuit or one of those chocolate brioche on my lap whilst watching whatever her current favourite thing on TV is. She has breakfast at nursery and I suspect a lot of the time she's a bit hangry when the clothes refusal starts.