To arrange an alcohol free wake?

Don't give them a clue, just tell them to avoid having to answer the same questions on the day.

Some might prefer to leave and go to the pub after a while, but many will be fine with it being tea total.

What a great age! I’m glad to hear that he seems to have led a full and enjoyable life, condolences on your loss, have the wake you think he would have wanted

You can do whatever you want to OP, you are organising the wake. I'm sure your Dad would be proud of you. People can expect whatever they like, doesn't mean they are going to get it.

I'm not in the UK but most funerals here are followed by morning/afternoon tea rather than anything with alcohol.

I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like he had a full and long life. I think it is lovely that you are not serving alcohol.
I would assume as his farewell is at the Methodist Church that there would be no alcohol allowed.

My sister's stepmother was methodist, wasn't alcohol at the church hall buffet thing afterwards, didn't expect there to be.

YANBU I would only really expect alcohol at a pub wake. Would the Church Hall even allow alcohol? I know with the Churches I went to as a kid, alcohol wasn't allowed to be consumed in the Halls, but maybe times have changed. Whenever I've been to a wake in a Church Hall, hotel or crematorium it's just been tea and coffee. Sorry for your loss

Just done exactly that for my partners mother. In a methodist church hall. It was a tad alien to me being CofE and associating such occasions with alcahol.

But no-one batted an eyelid at my M&S sandwiches and homemade cakes from the farmshop washing down by tea, coffee and assorted soft drinks from M&S.

Condolences on the loss of your Dad. Even though we came from a long line of publicans on my Dads side we had a 2 hour "dry" wake for my mum at home and nobody complained. It was also planned to go to the pub after the wake had finished.

We had an alcohol free funeral tea for my mum, @MereDintofPandiculation - and as far as I was aware, no-one had any problem with it at all. There is nothing wrong with raising a glass to the memory of the person, but I don’t think it is a vital part of the wake.

Also, as the closest relative, it’s your opinion that matters the most, in my view, and no-one should complain about you choosing an alcohol free wake. Other people are free to have their opinions, but should keep them to themselves. They can always raise a glass later on, either on their own or with other people who also want to do so.

I am very sorry for your loss.

I host funerals and wakes, less than half have booze!

If you are going for alcohol free ensure you have at least something without caffeine, many of the family's arrive with just caffeinated tea and coffee then end up asking if I have any decaf around.

I grew up Methodist - it is a rule of Methodism that you can't have alcohol or gambling on the premises (so no selling raffle tickets and a tombola has to have a prize for every ticket) - so it will have to be a dry event anyway. If you think there are people who will be surprised then you might want to mention it to them in advance though.

No advice but just to say I’m sorry about your father OP. I’ve always valued your views on the elderly parents topic. I hope his passing was as you might both have wished for.

It's not a case of not coping.

I don't drink often, a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend usually.

The last funeral I went to, I had a gin and tonic straight after at the wake. It was enough to take the edge off the pain I was in, and I didn't drink for the rest of the evening. If I was feeling like I still needed to start the next day with a drink to take the edge off, that would be unhealthy and I'd have had to put some other coping measures in place, but that one helped me get through the rest of the evening rather than spending the whole wake sobbing.

Funerals are horrible and shouldn't be something we have to go to often and everyone should do what they need to do to get through them.

Well people can unexpect. The OP is the living & it's how she want to honour her Dad. Nobody else matters.
I find it extremely unhealthy that people can't cope without alcohol.

They can drink booze til they burst if they want to, it just won't be provided by the op.

But she's arranging the event and providing the refreshments! It's not like showing up an event that someone else has arranged and paid for and then ordering them not to serve alcohol.

I think it's controlling to tell people how they should grieve or honour your Dad's memory. You can not drink as a gesture to him, but I don't think you can make everyone else join you in doing it.

The last wake I attended was alcohol free. It was in the church hall and was tea and cakes.

I'm not sure I've been to a wake with anything other than tea and coffee. There are obviously different traditions, but if it's in a church hall I don't think anyone is going to be surprised.

If it's a methodist hall you might not even be allowed booze anyway. I give blood in a church hall that is Mormon and they don't even allow hot drinks on the premises!

We didn't have any alcohol at my dad's wake few years back. Tea, coffee and cake. Just as he would have wanted.
There's a pub down the road if anyone wanted to drink but no one went and we had a nice time remembering him and honouring his memories

Only you know your dad.

Mine would find it more important that as hosts, we made sure everyone was looked after and catered for.

But everyone's different and if yours wouldn't have wanted people drinking alcohol, then it's fine.

I think tea and coffee at a wake is perfectly acceptable. Went to one last year and it was an afternoon tea scenario with dainty sandwiches, sausage rolls, quiche and lots of lovely cake.

Sorry for your loss.

We did this recently at FILs funeral. He never drank alcohol but he didn't mind others drinking but as it was in the church hall in the afternoon, we got caterers in to provide sandwiches and cakes and the only drinks on offer were tea and coffee. He didn't drink alcohol but had other "vices", getting into debt, living beyond his means etc We had to pay for most of the funeral ourselves as he hadn't left enough money to pay for the entire thing and none of us are well off so we couldn't really afford to pay for alcohol too. It was absolutely fine, no one expected alcohol in a church hall during the afternoon.