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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too early for a party invitation

63 replies

Mannersmattertoo · 27/01/2025 12:57

Sent 7 weeks before.

It is too far off to RSVP, we have a lot going on. At the same time, I don't want to forget, as I reply even if we cannot make it.
I've never had an invite so early before for a reception party. When is the Mum expecting to be let know by?
The norm is 2-3 weeks before at my dc's school; the longest I've had is 4 weeks. There is no food provided, looks like a room has been hired at a set fee, so it won't be per head.

When to let Mum know by?

OP posts:
Pamelaaaaarrr · 27/01/2025 13:06

Mannersmattertoo · 27/01/2025 13:05

I'm unable to rspv yet, it is too far off. I have another child who is ND, and don't know I will have child care; other things are going on as well. I wouldn't know until closer to the time. It looks like the whole class has been invited. My dc doesn't play with child, and wants to go, but does to every party. I would be in a position 2/3 weeks before, but given Mum has sent it over 7 weeks in advance, I'm guessing she expects an answer soon. It'll have to be a no otherwise, as I don't let people down.

Edited

Then just decline.

owlll · 27/01/2025 13:05

BillyNoProblems · 27/01/2025 13:02

That's far too early! Message the mum and say you don't know if you are free yet but you'll confirm in s few weeks

Edited

So you like to wait and see if you get better offers?

Either you're free, or you're not. Reply accordingly

Original poster
Mannersmattertoo · 27/01/2025 13:05

I'm unable to rspv yet, it is too far off. I have another child who is ND, and don't know I will have child care; other things are going on as well. I wouldn't know until closer to the time. It looks like the whole class has been invited. My dc doesn't play with child, and wants to go, but does to every party. I would be in a position 2/3 weeks before, but given Mum has sent it over 7 weeks in advance, I'm guessing she expects an answer soon. It'll have to be a no otherwise, as I don't let people down.

OP posts:
TangerineClementine · 27/01/2025 13:03

Let her know immediately and put it in the diary. Then if something else comes up that you really can't miss, contact her and explain what has happened.

MirrorMirror00 · 27/01/2025 13:03

So you're waiting for a better offer? Either say yes and put it in your diary or say no.

MassiveSalad22 · 27/01/2025 13:02

So you’re basically waiting for a better offer? You say you’ve got a lot on - so if you can’t make it because you have something booked now, RSVP no.

BillyNoProblems · 27/01/2025 13:02

That's far too early! Message the mum and say you don't know if you are free yet but you'll confirm in s few weeks

RhiWrites · 27/01/2025 13:01

How is it too far off? I don’t get this. Either you have something booked for this date or you don’t. If you don’t, book this in and don’t plan something else that day.

TimeForTeaAndG · 27/01/2025 13:01

Well if you have a recurring appointment that falls on the day and time of the party then you decide which is more important. If you've nothing already booked for that day then you decide to say yes or no and if it's a yes you honour that even if something else comes up in the meantime.

It's not that hard. Maybe the birthday family are also busy and need to book it so they can actually get the space before it's booked up.

Pamelaaaaarrr · 27/01/2025 12:59

We had to send ours out pretty early because of school holidays etc but I've honestly never paid any attention to how long someone sends an invite in advance.

If you know you're free on that date, what's the problem? Sounds like you don't want to commit in case you get a better offer to be honest!

Knockgour · 27/01/2025 12:59

RSVP immediately and put it in the diary if you're attending.

NoKnit · 27/01/2025 12:59

Good grief can't you just message or call the Mum and say you don't know so far in advance and ask her?

User67556 · 27/01/2025 12:58

Obviously you RSVP straight away and then put it in your diary 🤷‍♀️ the norm here is probably 4-6 weeks notice.