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AIBU?

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Original poster

PC taking role too far

35 replies

TheMumEdit · 27/01/2025 12:52

I’m new to school life but accept most have parent councils. They do a great job. I’m surprised however how much they seem to control. Regular emails come from
them via the school office which I don’t think is appropriate. It’s a constant money grab. It’s of course voluntary but worded to make you feel terrible if you don’t contribute.

Today we got an email telling us of the acceptable use policy for their WA group - I’m astonished they took the time to even think this was necessary. Two pages of rules . The wa group runs well with a few little disagreements but nothing out of the usual. We’ve now been told that questions should only be answered by PC members and no general chat. Completely ignoring the fact that in the last week alone two of the PC gave wrong info!!! But under these rules we’ve to let it be!!

Are all PC’s this rigid ? I feel they suck the fun right out of what was a good idea. The chat is not formally ran by the school so no idea why the school agreed to send the message with the rules.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
LittleHangleton · 28/01/2025 20:29

We moved when my DD was in Year 3. Evidently something similar must have happened in previous years at her new school.

I was added to two class WhatsApp groups. One is only class/school updates and no chat whatsoever. The other is class/school updates, plus your usual is it PE today?, or Little Jonnys party is next Saturday, whole class invited, and all the other stuff like thar. Plus general lighthearted chit chat.

I prefer the second one.

purpleme12 · 28/01/2025 20:23

Oh dear

I'm afraid it'd make me want nothing to do with them WhatsApp or otherwise
Would put me right off

Original poster
TheMumEdit · 28/01/2025 20:23

Thanks all. I was a volunteer but left as it was stifling. We want your help but don’t make any suggestions or comments just stand at your post and keep quiet.
A lot of parents have stopped volunteering. Anyway it’s not a huge issue i just wondered if this was the norm.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheMumEdit · 28/01/2025 20:18

popduckhe · 28/01/2025 06:58

I think it's very good they are setting expectations for the use of the WA group. It protects both them and you. Someone at my work was fired for inappropriate use.

Bit different a work chat and a group of parents trying to raise funds for their kids education. It’s entirely voluntary

OP posts:
Original poster
TheMumEdit · 28/01/2025 20:16

Mishmashs · 28/01/2025 06:31

Parent Council is not the same as PTA? I’m at a Scottish school and we have both. In ours PC helps to put forward the voice of the parents, raise issues with senior leadership egc - they have regular meetings with the head and six weekly meetings available to any parent. They have nothing to do with fundraising, that’s the PTA’s job. Must be different in your school!

Scotland too and our PC do voice parents concerns but also manage all fundraising and events such as discos etc

OP posts:
Thisandthatandthensome · 28/01/2025 09:52

TheMumEdit · 27/01/2025 18:41

Extract:

Relevant and Concise Messaging

  • Keep messages relevant to the group's purpose. Unrelated topics or personal conversations should be taken to private messages.
  • Limit the use of "latent texts," such as single-word responses (e.g., "OK,"
  • "Thanks"), emojis, or short acknowledgments that do not contribute to the conversation. These messages can clutter the chat and make it harder for members to follow important updates.
  • If you want to acknowledge a message, consider using the "like" or "react" feature instead of sending a new message.
  1. Announcements and Notifications
  • When sharing important information or announcements, please ensure that the details are clear and concise.
  • Avoid repeating information unless necessary. This helps to keep the chat organized and prevents information overload.
  1. Timing of Messages
  • Be mindful of the time when sending messages. Unless it is urgent, please avoid sending messages late at night or early in the morning.
  • Consider the impact of notifications on other members, especially during weekends and holidays.

They don't sound too bad.

BookGoblin · 28/01/2025 07:16

Our head teacher tries to control class WhatsApp.

I just laugh and crack on. Suggest you do same.

popduckhe · 28/01/2025 06:58

I think it's very good they are setting expectations for the use of the WA group. It protects both them and you. Someone at my work was fired for inappropriate use.

Wingingitnancy · 28/01/2025 06:52

Just open a new WhatsApp for all the mums and leave out the PC members..if they ask, say it's for parents to be able to ask questions in a safe inclusive place.

ItsProperlyColdOut · 28/01/2025 06:48

tbh I think that primary school can just be quite hard, even for the parents.

I don't think it's very nice to pick on SAHMs. Dealing with loads of people is always going to be challenging.

If you don't like what they are doing then you need to stand up and put some effort in yourself. If you don't want to put the effort in, then you need to accept that they are doing the hard work for you and accept their rules.

I think a lot of this work falls to the SAHMs because they have a bit of time to do the work. However, I think it's massively unfair for the working Mum's to then mock them and say they're rubbish, while not lifting a finger to help.

JustAskingThisQ · 28/01/2025 06:39

Minikievs · 27/01/2025 21:35

I thought YANBU but the rules seem reasonable to be fair.
I hate waking up to a mountain of messages sent at stupid o'clock with acknowledgements of a piece of info someone's given, which you then have to scroll back for ages to find.
I don't think those rules are too authoritarian 🤷‍♀️

Leave the group then?

JustAskingThisQ · 28/01/2025 06:38

Had this at primary school. It all soon stopped when I used to openly mock their ridiculous ideas in group settings. "Oh Diane stop being so silly, we will send what messages we want and people can read and reply to what messages they want to". "Laura this is a kid's summer fete, not the Queen's tea party". Or just long stares with twitching lips. Get some parents together who think it's silly and just confront them and say it needs to stop.

Mishmashs · 28/01/2025 06:31

Parent Council is not the same as PTA? I’m at a Scottish school and we have both. In ours PC helps to put forward the voice of the parents, raise issues with senior leadership egc - they have regular meetings with the head and six weekly meetings available to any parent. They have nothing to do with fundraising, that’s the PTA’s job. Must be different in your school!

GetDownkeith · 28/01/2025 06:05

Costcolover · 27/01/2025 22:58

Have only read the OP so far but had to say that I've never heard of parent council? This surely isn't a UK school

Don’t know where op is but it’s called parent council in Scottish schools. Hadn’t been PTA for decades.

Saracen · 27/01/2025 23:09

Costcolover · 27/01/2025 23:00

Sorry to jump on you but may I ask how you're finding Home Ed please? DD (ASD, age 10) is really struggling socially at school so I'm considering it for high school

Show quote history

There's a home ed board here on Mumsnet where people will be happy to chat.

You also might like to make contact with your local home ed group to see what's readily available in terms of social and educational opportunities organised by other parents. Maybe someone would be willing to meet you for a coffee and chat. People tend to be generous with their time because they may have been where you are now. Most local groups are on Facebook these days: go on FB and type into its search bar "home education" followed by the name of your county or city or nearest big city.

Costcolover · 27/01/2025 23:00

aprayeratatime · 27/01/2025 17:01

Praise the Lord we are home ed now and all these losers are behind my ass

Sorry to jump on you but may I ask how you're finding Home Ed please? DD (ASD, age 10) is really struggling socially at school so I'm considering it for high school

Costcolover · 27/01/2025 22:58

Have only read the OP so far but had to say that I've never heard of parent council? This surely isn't a UK school

TeaHagTeaBag · 27/01/2025 22:14

We have similar guidelines for class WA groups in our primary. They also send a reminder at the start of the year that WA groups are not the place for teacher gripes, with a link to the school complaints policy. It hasn't happened with my kids' classes but I know others have gone completely feral over the years so it's useful guidance. Parents can be worse than preteens with new phones and no wifi curfew.

Original poster
TheMumEdit · 27/01/2025 21:52

Those are a sample of the rules there are 2 pages of them.
Yes the other parents think it’s ridiculous and some are quite upset. I think they have shot themselves in the foot as many people found the group inclusive but it’s clearly not.

OP posts:
Minikievs · 27/01/2025 21:35

I thought YANBU but the rules seem reasonable to be fair.
I hate waking up to a mountain of messages sent at stupid o'clock with acknowledgements of a piece of info someone's given, which you then have to scroll back for ages to find.
I don't think those rules are too authoritarian 🤷‍♀️

FakingItEasy · 27/01/2025 21:30

Do other parents feel the same as you? I'd be inclined to just set up another WhatsApp group that doesn't include the PC parents and use that.

chargeitup · 27/01/2025 21:27

Glad you posted the rules. I like them.

MindfulAndDemure · 27/01/2025 20:15

TheMumEdit · 27/01/2025 18:41

Extract:

Relevant and Concise Messaging

  • Keep messages relevant to the group's purpose. Unrelated topics or personal conversations should be taken to private messages.
  • Limit the use of "latent texts," such as single-word responses (e.g., "OK,"
  • "Thanks"), emojis, or short acknowledgments that do not contribute to the conversation. These messages can clutter the chat and make it harder for members to follow important updates.
  • If you want to acknowledge a message, consider using the "like" or "react" feature instead of sending a new message.
  1. Announcements and Notifications
  • When sharing important information or announcements, please ensure that the details are clear and concise.
  • Avoid repeating information unless necessary. This helps to keep the chat organized and prevents information overload.
  1. Timing of Messages
  • Be mindful of the time when sending messages. Unless it is urgent, please avoid sending messages late at night or early in the morning.
  • Consider the impact of notifications on other members, especially during weekends and holidays.

I was with you.. but then I read this and thought, yeah, I'd prefer this actually. Keep it concise and info based, then have chats for individual friendship groups if you want.

Original poster
TheMumEdit · 27/01/2025 18:53

HPandthelastwish · 27/01/2025 18:50

This is what happens when high powered career women give it all up and become SAHM, they start treating their children's lives and the part they play in it as if it's a formal workplace.

I can’t believe you said this as I almost put that in. It’s so true . around 90% of those on the council are SAHM but no children at home and struggling to integrate back in.
I don’t have any issue with SAHM but seems a big coincidence

OP posts:
HPandthelastwish · 27/01/2025 18:50

This is what happens when high powered career women give it all up and become SAHM, they start treating their children's lives and the part they play in it as if it's a formal workplace.