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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about "friends" gossiping about DD?

232 replies

Gossipygossip · 27/01/2025 12:21

I'm annoyed, but not sure if I should be, although I have certainly learnt a lesson here.

Went out for dinner with four school mums, that I have known since reception and our children are now in the last years of secondary school so for some time. We have always been open and honest about parenting, ND diagnoses, challenging behaviour, marriage up and downs. So my DD has started a relationship and although she is was 15 when it began, it was sexual. They are still together over a year later, and we are happy that's it's a supportive and loving relationship and of no concern. It was young to start having intimacy, but it was her choice and is doing everything the right way with protection etc.

Also we talked about our children going to parties etc, and drinking. Felt like an open sharing conversation over a curry and a drink or two.

Except I then find out one of my friend's husbands has been gossiping to another husband (of a mutual friend who didn't attend the dinner), about how my DD is engaging in underage sex, and what awful parents we are.

AIBU to feel like something said, if not in confidence, but at least in friendly trusting environment, is been used in this way? Would you say anything to your friend that passed this on?

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 27/01/2025 12:24

You told your friends about your daughters sex life? Why would you do that?

Stichintime · 27/01/2025 12:24

Sounds like you're used to over sharing with this group. You should protect your daughters privacy and not discuss her sex life! To me this would be something I would share with a close friend only, where confidentiality would go without saying.

FloppySarnie · 27/01/2025 12:24

The other parents shouldn’t be gossiping but honestly, you shouldn’t be sharing info about your DD either. You’ve lost her her right to privacy with your own actions.

Foreverhope1 · 27/01/2025 12:24

origamitiger · 27/01/2025 12:22

I wouldn’t be happy if I were your daughter - I think discussing your child’s sex life with your friends is really off.

Came on to say the same thing 🤯

Discretion is an issue across the board.

Parents don't own their children- treat their private life's as exactly that: private

RitaFromTheRanch · 27/01/2025 12:23

wtf? Why have you told them that about your dd?

Phase2 · 27/01/2025 12:22

Yes I would. I asked a friend for advice once about something I assumed was obviously confidential. She told her child so that was great and didn't cause any issues at all between me and mine and my kid's peers 😫 dropped the friendship.

origamitiger · 27/01/2025 12:22

I wouldn’t be happy if I were your daughter - I think discussing your child’s sex life with your friends is really off.

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