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Original poster

If you were faced with this question, what would you do?

134 replies

IAmADescendantOfSweepTheSqueakyLegend · 26/01/2025 19:02

If you were faced with the choice between saving your partner or a stranger's baby, what would you do?

OP posts:
GiddyRobin · 26/01/2025 22:53

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/01/2025 22:46

3678194b · Today 22:34

Awful to think about but I think most people would think themselves and theirs first, irrespective of whatever the 'greater good' would be, in most situations.

You’re right. I think humans like to forget that we are, after all, just animals like any other. Instinct is hard to overcome.

I think this is the part that has me uhhming and ahhing the most though. Like on the one hand (not to get maudlin) I've seen DH nearly die. I was useless. But I've also run into oncoming traffic to snatch a friend's toddler out of the way of danger.

It's so strange. To be fair, I couldn't have done much for DH given the circumstances (freak accident), but I froze. Whereas with the toddler I just acted. But making a choice? God, I don't know! I do think it would be DH, but I find myself extremely sensitive to kids in pain/danger since I've had my own.

I think it would really depend on scenario and which part of my brain kicked in?

LBFseBrom · 26/01/2025 22:49

My goodness, what a dilemma. I would obviously try to save both but if it was only possible to save one - and assuming I was capable of doing whatever was necessary - I'd save my partner.

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/01/2025 22:46

3678194b · Today 22:34

Awful to think about but I think most people would think themselves and theirs first, irrespective of whatever the 'greater good' would be, in most situations.

You’re right. I think humans like to forget that we are, after all, just animals like any other. Instinct is hard to overcome.

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 22:43

RawBloomers · 26/01/2025 22:40

Then 3 people die!

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Not necessarily if it was a gun one bullet

RawBloomers · 26/01/2025 22:40

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 22:37

Is there an option to kill myself so I don't have to make such an awful decision 🤔

Then 3 people die!

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 22:37

Is there an option to kill myself so I don't have to make such an awful decision 🤔

3678194b · 26/01/2025 22:34

Awful to think about but I think most people would think themselves and theirs first, irrespective of whatever the 'greater good' would be, in most situations.

Scammersarescum · 26/01/2025 22:33

Partner. Obviously.

stayathomer · 26/01/2025 22:32

I hate these questions. Both.

ZiggyZowie · 26/01/2025 22:30

Husband

GoldPoster · 26/01/2025 22:30

Partner with no doubt. I don’t like babies. but of if it were a child between 3 and 16, still my partner, bit I’d be wracked with guilt.

Pumpkincozynights · 26/01/2025 22:19

Oh I’d 100% expect dh to save my over any unrelated randomer.

dijonketchup · 26/01/2025 22:17

AshCrapp · 26/01/2025 21:26

I'd hope this choice isn't hard for most people. Baby all the way.

One thing that's interesting for me is the difference that being born makes. Before giving birth, I was very afraid of dying in childbirth (I don't know why, some biological thing kicking in telling me this was likely??). I was relieved to learn that you don't actually get a choice in "who to save" in an emergency, the midwives save the mother. I was relieved to learn this because I 100% wanted to live, even if it meant losing the baby if something went wrong. But the second my baby was handed to me, I would happily have given up my life for theirs. What explains that? It's not even just instinct, because even many years removed from the situation, there seems to me to be a crucial difference. I'd still instantly sacrifice myself for a baby I was holding, but not a baby I was carrying in my womb.

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I agree with this, having given birth I couldn’t not save a baby. Even if it wasn’t mine, it’s someone’s baby. Though I suppose your DH is always going to be your MIL’s baby, so…

I did have a row with my partner beforehand because I said that in a life or death situation, I would want him to save me, not the baby. He disagreed and was appalled. He thought I would beg him to save the baby. Nope! But I hadn’t had the baby at that point…!

MyUmberSeal · 26/01/2025 22:16

My partner, without question.

Pumpkincozynights · 26/01/2025 22:14

My partner.

Tarantella6 · 26/01/2025 22:12

What if I'm stuck with the baby afterwards?! I'm not always keen on my own children I definitely don't want someone else's.

Having said that, DH has life insurance ... it is a tough one for sure 😅😅😅

GoodVibesHere · 26/01/2025 22:12

I think I'd have to save the baby, partly because I'd hate for a mother to have to lose a child - that must be the worst grief anyone could go through, I imagine. I don't think I could live with myself knowing I could've stopped someone going through losing their baby.

Blimey what a horrifying situation though. I feel a bit stressed out now!

Scaredtosayitoutloud · 26/01/2025 22:11

My husband is in his 50s, as am I. He would want me to save the baby and I would. Equally, I (hope I) would say "I love you, save the baby" if the situation was reversed.

It's an age-old reflection on the value of human life - Google the "Trolley Problem" for ever more complex and challenging moral dilemmas.

RobertaFirmino · 26/01/2025 22:08

I'd save my husband every time. Not sorry, I dislike the assumption that all women must sacrifice their own happiness for children, whether they are theirs or not.

Wakeywake · 26/01/2025 22:07

thecatneuterer · 26/01/2025 22:02

Ha ha. Me too!

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Husband over stranger's baby, but if it was between husband and my cat... not sure, I'd have to think about it.

Iknjtjumpers · 26/01/2025 22:04

Can’t the stranger save their own baby?

Vileperson · 26/01/2025 22:04

I would save the baby, they havnt had a chance at life.

thecatneuterer · 26/01/2025 22:02

EmpressaurusKitty · 26/01/2025 19:26

I’m happily single and blissfully childfree.

I’d save my cat.

Ha ha. Me too!

BelleSauvage9 · 26/01/2025 21:55

Cannot imagine being in that situation and not choosing the innocent vulnerable baby!

blueshoes · 26/01/2025 21:33

piggybackrideitallnight · 26/01/2025 19:53

I would choose my partner...not sure what I would do if it was a stranger's dog/hamster/parrot/terrapin though.

There is even less chance I would save a random animal over my husband 😱

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