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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask Sen parents when it gets easier?

35 replies

Sparkzz · 26/01/2025 17:37

When does parenting actually get easier as I feel like it's not getting easier only harder. I have 4 children one is home educated as she's autistic and couldn't cope in mainstream (going through the process of trying to get her into a special school but it's a long process) one child is on a reduced time table and needs to leave school every day at 11. So I drop him at 8.30 then collect him at 11. By the time I drop my other kids off and come home I'm pretty much back out to collect him. Then come home do work with my daughter then go and collect my other children. His school now want him to attend a weekly session in a different school further away meaning every Tuesday I will need to drop him even further but it's only for 2 hours so I won't have time to go home as there will be no point by the time I get home I will have to leave again to go and collect him so I will have to hang around on the street for 2 hours once a week with my daughter. I have no money to go shopping or to cafes so that's out of the question. I'm just so exhausted I can't see how this is getting easier, feel like that only applies to people that don't have Sen children. When will it actually get easier? because I dread waking up most mornings.

OP posts:
x2boys · 26/01/2025 17:54

Sparkzz · 26/01/2025 17:48

Yes I did agree to it as he wasn't coping being there full time but I didn't realise it would only be till 11 I thought lunch time would have been more reasonable.

Show quote history

Doe he have an EHCP ?
If not why not ?

x2boys · 26/01/2025 17:52

All children with SEN will be different my son has severe autism and learning disabilities and has always gone to a special school, he's 14now he will always have very complex needs but things got easier when he was in school and we have a routine
We have a decent package of respite now ( it took years to get ) wich includes two overnights a month which is a godsend .

Original poster
Sparkzz · 26/01/2025 17:49

Bristolinfeb · 26/01/2025 17:39

That sounds exhausting. Is there a library near by you and your daughter can go to?

I am not familiar with the area so will have to look at what's near by all I know of is a large retail park but don't want to end up spending money I don't have. I will have to see if there is a library.

OP posts:
Coloursofthewind2 · 26/01/2025 17:49

I think you could possibly get a funded taxi service to and from school if your child has a disability and in reciept of certain benefits. Worth looking into.

GloriousBlue · 26/01/2025 17:48

Oh gosh, it sounds so intense, and I'm assuming you don't get much (if any) break.

I can imagine having a SEN child is a full time job, so having them plus 3 others must just be impossible.

Just with the going to and fro from school, is there anyone who could help with this?

Original poster
Sparkzz · 26/01/2025 17:48

x2boys · 26/01/2025 17:42

Why is he on a reduced timetable?is this something you have agreed too or is it something the school have suggested. ?

Yes I did agree to it as he wasn't coping being there full time but I didn't realise it would only be till 11 I thought lunch time would have been more reasonable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparkzz · 26/01/2025 17:47

BrightYellowTrain · 26/01/2025 17:42

IMO it gets easier once the right support is in place.

With that in mind, when you say DD is EHE and you are trying to get her into SS, where are you in the process? Does she have an EHCP? If not, have you requested an EHCNA? If she already has an EHCP, have you appealed to SENDIST? If you are mid-appeal, have you requested an expedited hearing? In the meantime, you can inform the LA you are no longer EHE and they must make arrangements to ensure DD receives a suitable full time education and anything detailed, specified and quantified in F. If they refuse, delay or ignore your request for AP, you can enforce this, including via judicial review if necessary.

Why is DS on a reduced timetable? Is alternative provision in place? Does he have an EHCP? If so, have you requested an early review. If he doesn’t have an EHCP, have you requested an EHCNA?

Have you requested transport?

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and assessment by the children with disabilities team for DC?

Are DC in receipt of DLA and are you getting all the right UC elements? Have you applied for any grants you are eligible for?

My daughter does have a ehcp we are going through the annual review and the LA are consulting with special schools but we haven't had an outcome yet and the school I've named said we may be waiting till September.

Ds doesn't need transport as his school is 10 minutes walk away from our house, it's the other school they want to send him to once a week that is further and will take around 45 minutes to get to. He doesn't have a ehcp we are in the process of applying and the LA have agreed to assess but its in the early stages and we do get dla.

OP posts:
BrightYellowTrain · 26/01/2025 17:42

IMO it gets easier once the right support is in place.

With that in mind, when you say DD is EHE and you are trying to get her into SS, where are you in the process? Does she have an EHCP? If not, have you requested an EHCNA? If she already has an EHCP, have you appealed to SENDIST? If you are mid-appeal, have you requested an expedited hearing? In the meantime, you can inform the LA you are no longer EHE and they must make arrangements to ensure DD receives a suitable full time education and anything detailed, specified and quantified in F. If they refuse, delay or ignore your request for AP, you can enforce this, including via judicial review if necessary.

Why is DS on a reduced timetable? Is alternative provision in place? Does he have an EHCP? If so, have you requested an early review. If he doesn’t have an EHCP, have you requested an EHCNA?

Have you requested transport?

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and assessment by the children with disabilities team for DC?

Are DC in receipt of DLA and are you getting all the right UC elements? Have you applied for any grants you are eligible for?

x2boys · 26/01/2025 17:42

Why is he on a reduced timetable?is this something you have agreed too or is it something the school have suggested. ?

Bristolinfeb · 26/01/2025 17:39

That sounds exhausting. Is there a library near by you and your daughter can go to?

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