To ask Sen parents when it gets easier?

Hi OP, in the short term sounds like it would help a bit if DS could stay at school till lunchtime. Could you ask for a plan to achieve that? Maybe work up to that starting after half term?

Well there’s two options - pursue provision/enforce the law or don’t. So it is a choice in that regard. Not one a parent should have to make, and some parents, for a multitude of reasons, don’t feel able to pursue provision, but it is a choice/decision made.

Fair enough. Sorry if I was short. It’s not really a choice though, more of an inability when you’re managing dcs’ needs day to day. Also fearing taking on the LA, knowing how many parents are subjected to FII allegations when they try to make them part with money.

In our LA, there are a small (less than ten) dc being taught in the library, and two accessing AQA modules as alternative education. Plus a lot of dc missing education, and others home educating by necessity. The law says one thing, the reality is quite another.

And that is, of course, your choice. My post was in response to you posting “there’s no way to get AP without going to tribunal though” which isn’t the case.

School when it’s the wrong school will feel stressful, but when you get the right place for your children in should feel completely different. It will always feel difficult, but it is also possible to feel like you can cope because you have the right support. I hope you get that soon OP.

Yes, I know… it’s a battle that many with very unwell or SEN kids can’t face, including me.

This shows DS doesn’t understand the scope of alternative provision. Alternative provison doesn’t have involve going anywhere. It doesn’t have to involve any other DC. And where the AP does involve leaving the house/other DC, it doesn’t have to involve any with VCB.

Under section 19 of the Education Act 1996 the LA has a duty to ensure DC unable to attend school full time receive a suitable full time education. The route to enforce this is via judicial review rather than SENDIST.

Probably true. Here, there’s no way to get AP without going to tribunal though. They simply say ‘we don’t offer any alternative provision’

I suspect DS doesn’t understand what alternative provision can be, which isn’t surprising since many parents and professionals don’t understand the scope of what it can cover. It is whatever is suitable for his needs and linked in to his interests. It isn’t limited to a few specific types of provision.

My experience is that it goes through phases of being awful, and phases of being easier to manage, rather than getting easier in a linear fashion.

Reduced timetables are a logistical nightmare. I EHE two of mine now and it’s infinitely easier than reduced timetables. And all the stress that came with school, it won’t be a solution for every family though.

Make sure you are claiming DLA, carers, and UC disability element.

it doesn't

i accepted years ago its my life now and made sure we live a certain way of life to accommodate for disabilities

im a lone parent to a 14 and 20 y old,(all though both years behind) i get zero help family wise or professionally

its all me, 24/7 carer
ive inattentive ADHD as well(not diagnosed until 2023 mind, i was 42 but struggled for years)

we home educate (no special schools around here in rural Wales, its the village school or none so H.E it was)

we follow the radical unschooling lifestyle

as both have many complex disabilities each, a sleeping disability being one they sleep and wake when ever
due no circadian rhythm
melatonin or sleeping tablets doesn't work

they sleep the right amount of hours its just at any time
been like this since birth

i try and match their sleeping but i have the same sleeping disability as well(diagnosed the same time as the ADHD)
so this house eats, sleeps and wakes when ever the body tells them to

I’ve only got one DS although his SEN are significant. The right school setting is key ime. Unfortunately it can take years to get mych-needed support in place.

Things change with age but I would not claim easier necessarily. Everyone is different. Having 4 children would be pretty tough with no sen!

Dd is ok now as an adult, once the hormones settled (very late with puberty) she has been able to live close to a "normal" life though can't cope with full time work

Make sure the LA sticks to the AR timescales. They must finalise within 8 weeks of sending you the amendment notice (so a maximum of 12 weeks from the review meeting because the amendment notice should have been sent within 4 weeks of the meeting.) You can also inform the LA you are no longer EHEing and they need to make arrangements to ensure DD receives a suitable full-time education and anything in F of the EHCP.

For DS, if alternative provision isn’t in place, you should request it is put in place. IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

As the SS isn’t wholly independent, you don’t need an offer of a place. The school can be named even if they object. So ignore them saying they won’t have a place until September. The LA must name your preference unless the LA can prove:
-The setting is unsuitable for the age, ability, aptitude or special educational needs (“SEN”) of the child or young person; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the provision of efficient education for others; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the efficient use of resources.
Being full is not defined in law, and on its own being ‘full’ is not enough of a reason to refuse to name your preference. The LA has to prove the school is so full admitting DD is incompatible. The bar for that is higher than many LAs admit.

You should definitely request transport for DS. Is alternative provision in place?

When was the AR meeting for DD? Is the school you want wholly independent?

When did you request an EHCNA for DS? Is the LA sticking to the timescales and has all the necessary advice and information been sought.

If you have to take DS to school, which it sounds like you do, then even if the school is 10 mins away you can be eligible for transport. The statutory walking distance doesn’t apply if applying because of the child’s SEND. Transport can also be provided to the other school - the LA may tell you it can’t but it can.

If you want DS to attend school longer, he can. You should request alternative provision from the LA. This can be as well as part time school or instead of depending on what is required.

Library or museum teach her how to follow Google maps bus timetable’s visit churches look at any building of historical significance (Tudor?) get hot chocolate when it’s raining, do the weekly shopping. Teach her about money. It dose sound exhausting. You can get some education done in the time you have to be out and relax later take her books and read take drinks and a snack from home and wait in the car if your not feeling the rest. You have been given an exhausting task go easy on yourself. Watch YouTube videos on topics you’re covering at home.