Should we accept it and move?

I wouldn't accept money with strings attached. This tells you they will hold it over you. It may also lead to resentment from your partner, especially if he doesn't settle in the new area.

Never allow yourself to be bought. Freedom is a much richer life than a life of being controlled or indebted.

Not a chance would I accept this offer.

The fact that they are willing to bribe you in this way says a lot about the type of people they are. If you move then I suspect their controlling and selfish ways will escalate and they will be interfering in all aspects of your lives.

This

What else will they think they have a right to have a say in?

I actively wouldn’t want people such as this to live close to my children if I were you op

I wish you'd put a poll on this OP, you'd see 99% of people saying you'd be crazy to accept this "offer".
Money should be given with a whole heart and zero strings. Accepting it sounds like they'd feel you owed them something. That's no way to live!

From my own experience - be careful moving anywhere 'to have children'. We considered moving near my mum as we were going to start trying to conceive. Long story short we still haven't had any luck getting pregnant and are now going through IVF treatment.

I am SO glad we are still in our house, close to friends and our jobs, and not commuting miles to London each week whilst hoping to get pregnant. When I envisaged living near my mum it involved being on maternity leave and having her help with the baby once it arrived.

Had we moved I would have found it all too depressing 'waiting' for our expected life with children to start.

I agree with those who have said money with strings attached is always dangerous. If I was your DP I'd probably be livid and feel completely suffocated by the offer. Stay put, see if kids happen easily enough, then decide what works best for your family based on your own needs.

It's an almost literal trap, OP.

I would only accept if there are no conditions too. Did in fact - my dad gave us money for a deposit, but I was clear that we’d never be able to afford to pay him back if we accepted it. He gave it on no conditions, but even then we have had comments about the house ‘he’ has bought. So think very carefully about accepting.

How about this.

'Thanks for the offer, it's very kind and generous of you. We really do want to be able to buy and start a family so it would be such a help. However, as we are not looking to settle in the area you are suggesting, unfortunately we must decline your offer.'

Then see what they say.

Depends how you want to live. I love Norfolk (the beaches, the peace and quiet) but I’m old and a total home body. Transport is completely shite and if you are a couple that likes walking to coffee shops/restaurants etc, you will struggle in North Norfolk.

You’ll be repaying this gift every day for the rest of their lives.

I don't think its unreasonable for them to offer their money under conditions that they choose. Personally I would not accept money with strings, especially not money that I couldn't afford to pay back instantly if things got awkward.

I’d say to take the money and move there. If you can’t settle then you could always relocate again and you would have the extra equity in your property.
Bit sneaky maybe but the parents are being controlling.

I wouldn't do that to DH (though of course you couldn't without his agreement) but I wouldn't even try to push him to accept, I'd hate to be moved away from my friends to somewhere I knew no one. It is always great to have parents near by to babysit but not if he is rooted in the area.

Their offer is fairly self centred, hopefully they just haven't considered/thought it through.

You’re being bought here, OP. What’s your value? How much is your DH’s social life worth? How much is your autonomy as a couple worth? Do they get on with DH? Do you like spending time with them?

Is there form for this? Were they quite controlling when you were younger? Have they always been upset at you moving away? Or has your DH been intractable about where you lived and they’re just trying to provide a way for you to get back to your own home town where you might have more friends and support?

Unless there are other factors in play I think you need to consider that the conditions aren’t really just about which bit of the country you live in. If they’d just wanted to be nearer they could have talked to you about this before they sold - tell you they’d like to downsize near you, offer you money towards a house and see if you could find a couple of houses near to each other in a place you were all happy with. But they didn’t. They downsized to where they wanted to be which was nowhere near where your lives were and then offered to buy your proximity (close to them and, presumably, away from your DH’s parents?). I doubt they are going to stop at just expecting you to live close, they will expect to be involved with your DC on their terms regardless of how much it works for you.

Never do anything with strings attached

Absolutely not. There's no guarantee they'd even help you anyway. My PIL live close to my SIL and they don't help whatsoever.

Your dh may resent it if he has to move away from friends and is then not happy in the new area. I think it could be a recipe for disaster. I would say thank you but you can’t move away from where you are. They may relent or not

Of course they are assuming that there will definitely be grandchildren, which cannot always be guaranteed for all manner of reasons.

This sounds like a hard decision. If you accept and buy a house might there be more demands in the future e.g. having a key or frequency of visits? As others have said this feels controlling. It doesn’t sound like a gift. It sounds like a transaction. They’ll be buying your proximity, but what else?

(and if they really cared about you, rather than primarily themselves, surely they would just gift the money with no strings?)

Don't do it. No strings or nothing doing. It will forever be held over your heads. What happens as they age and need help? What happens if you get divorced? I wouldn't swap Cambridge for N Norfolk either as a younger person.

I don't think north Norfolk is a great place to be a teenager, where you are sounds much livelier. Supposing you went, disliked it and decided to move away again? Will your parents demand the money back or emotionally blackmail you?

I can't imagine moving your dh away from all his mates will do him or your marriage any good plus I am guessing some of his mates at least are at a similar life stage, offering potentially peer support or just other families to hang out with when the time comes.

I would say thank you but no thank you, you don't think overall it is the best decision for you as a couple.

Absolutely not, imagine you agree and your dh is miserable miles from friends - it would be terrible for your relationship and his with your parents and could cause awful resentment. It’s so unfair of them to try and manipulate you in this way.

It’s a big no from me. It’s not a gift if there are conditions attached and I feel they may use the fact they’ve given you this money to control aspects of your life going forward.
We gave both our sons a large sum of money to help towards the purchase of their first properties. That’s where our involvement ended.