Should we accept it and move?

It sounds like your partner doesn’t want so no 🤷🏼‍♀️

Unfortunately, your parents can’t control where you live with money. It is nice for you as you get what you want but your do is left not so well off so I would refuse until his need are met too.

On the other hand, if you want the children care then your husband is being selfish IF in fact he will expect you to foot the bill as you do not have any family/friends around you to help.

So IF your partner does 50/50 with you no problem. If you haven’t talk about childcare then I would weight that in as it is horribly expensive. Of course make sure your parents are reliable on this.

Good luck 🌺

Agree that you don't want to be trapped, and want to make your own choices. However being half an hour rather than 2 hours from supportive grandparents can be an advantage with small children, if you aren't desperately attached to Cambridge.

It would seem wise not to rush into this. Thank them, and say you have yet to decide where you want to live.

Then you could look into areas you might like with an open mind, as a genuine choice. There are some nice areas and good schools in and around Norwich eg Heatherset.

And perhaps think about maybe accepting /borrowing a small sum from them, in future, when you have saved up more, rather than the full amount they are offering, so that you can prioritise paying them back. That way you get your foot on the property ladder but are free of any obligation.

Your husband is right, that offer is controlling and manipulative

It’s their money , they can say what they like.
sound a good idea to me

Communicate more with them. What about opportunities presenting unexpectedly in another country, You never know where life will take you. Would parents move with you if for example, a job came up with good salary etc in a new part of the country? Needs more discussion

I think that whilst they are being honest with you they are also being controlling and I would thank them for their generous offer but say NO.

I think you shouldn’t accept that sort of offer. However on the practical front if you did, you would:
a) have to live in or near kings Lynn or that train line so you can get the trains to your jobs in Cambridge/London. 45 mins to Cambridge.
b) your jobs would have to be working from home majority because there’s very few well paying jobs in north Norfolk.
c) look at how good schools are- secondary schools are very poor.
d) you will have a long commute.
e) how much childcare would your parents likely give. Unless it’s every school holiday and wraparound care every day from your long commute it’s not worth it.
To see your parents regularly on the weekend you could live somewhere like Ely. A bit more affordable than Cambridge so you can buy. Easy commute on the train. Not too far to drive to north Norfolk and a nice place to live.

North Norfolk is quite awkward to get to from elsewhere. Getting a job won't be that easy there unless wfh is an option. People often go there to retire. Unless it's a place you love don't move.

I live in north Norfolk and I always have. I love it but it is quiet.

It's manipulation at its best..:we will help you out but we will dictate where you live. It's wrong. Don't do it

Don't let them buy you or they'll 'own' you forever. A gift should not have strings!

I'm another one who wouldn't do it. I think they are very unfair. If they want to live near you then that's fine but they shouldn't expect you to move near them. I think they should be very careful about where they retire to because if they reach an age or ability level when they can't drive they may well really struggle.

Also, what if they don't like it there? What if you move to be near them and then they don't like it and want to move somewhere else? They will say that wouldn't happen but how do they know?

No guarantee that parents will be any help.
How many times do we see thread where posters say that they uprooted themselves to live near family and no support was forthcoming?

And if they do go and live in an area where they know no one and are a long way away from friends, they are reducing other support networks.

No chance

As others have said, that's not a gift freely given and I wouldn't accept it for that reason unless I.wanted to live very near my parents anyway. (But, in contrast to other posters, I love North Norfolk. I've considered settling a bit further inland, where I used to live, in or near Wymondham - closer to Norwich, decent rail links Cambridgewards, and with fantastic schools.)

This

I would say you’ll probably be glad of the help when children do arrive…….they can’t easily help from miles away and you will need some support………

Nope. Not a chance. It's weird and controlling of your parents to dangle money you know they could help you with over your head but only if you do something that they want - it's not that they want to help you, it's that they want to have a say in where you live. And honestly, it doesn't sound like going to Norfolk would be great for your husband - and therefore probably your relationship, because I imagine there'd be an amount of resentment there on his behalf.

No, they're lining you up to look after them in their old age.

Terrible of them to try and control you like that.

Why don't they move closer to you?

They're being very unfair

As a Norfolk girl, how close would they expect you to move? Given you’re planning to have kids, Unless they’re stretching to fund Greshams, some of the schools can be a little patchy and north Norfolk can be a little dull and remote. However, Wymondham and hethersett are good for young families - good access to the city, good schools, reasonably close to the attractions, and Wymondham has good train connections and its commutable to Cambridge. Maybe that’s a compromise you could accept?

I wouldn't accept and I think it's awful of your parents to make an offer with such conditions.

I'd cut my nose.off to spite my face through sheer principle.

Absolutely no way. I’m open mouthed at the demands of only moving near to them, thereby uprooting your lives? Just no way. Better to wait and save longer.