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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think bums should be covered in a public pool?

587 replies

Whatkatyforgottodo · 26/01/2025 16:21

I may be being unreasonable and I’m just old and out of touch… took my kids swimming today at our local public pool and there was a lady wearing one of those swimming costumes that is basically a thong at the back? I saw lots of them in the beach during the summer which I kind of understand as it helps you get a very high cut tan/eliminates tan lines but I felt a bit weird seeing one in an indoor pool? Not sure where boundaries lie…? Happy to be told IABU but wondered what others think?

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VoodooRajin · 27/01/2025 17:53

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 27/01/2025 17:48

Unless the ass is right up on your face you probably aren't going to see their asshole or vulva like people have said.

And if it is that close there are other issues that need sorting.

So how does one not flash ones bum to other pool users when vacating the pool

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 27/01/2025 17:52

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 27/01/2025 17:48

Unless the ass is right up on your face you probably aren't going to see their asshole or vulva like people have said.

And if it is that close there are other issues that need sorting.

I find the entire arse an unappealing sight, unfortunately. So even from a reasonable distance I'm seeing parts of bodies that I would rather not.

And I don't want to explain to kids why it's sensible for them to keep their private parts covered and that it's not okay if someone wants to show them their private areas, except for these women who have bottoms so sensitive they can't have fabric on them.

onwardsup4 · 27/01/2025 17:51

@Princessconsuelabananahammock9 so the onus is on me as an owner of working eyes to not view others entire backside at a public swimming pool. Good grief just cover your arse up in public it's not difficult. Or don't but at least you know the opinion of most now

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 27/01/2025 17:50

Walkaround · 27/01/2025 17:46

If it’s generally considered repellent for a man to wear a thong in a public swimming pool, the same applies to a woman, imvho. It’s inappropriate, increases the woman’s risk of thrush, due to the female anatomy, and on most women and men is not aesthetically pleasing, because most people have flabby, ugly backsides, anyway. This might not put off people who see thongs as displays of sexual availability and welcome it for that reason, but it puts most other people off, tbh, because it’s mostly not a pretty sight.

Does it matter if they look attractive?

I mean, most people at the beach aren't necessarily attractive.

I don't think it means they should have to cover up.

Walkaround · 27/01/2025 17:50

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 27/01/2025 17:47

I think it's advised that you keep your eyes open when near or in water.

🤣🤣🤣It’s quite hard not to notice exhibitionists, tbh.

onwardsup4 · 27/01/2025 17:49

@MugsyBalonz poster said fashion for girls being skimpy is playing into the hands of peados and perverts and you reply peados and perverts don't give a shit what anyone is wearing. That's a bold statement why are you dismissing this very real concern? And why wouldn't a mother want to protect their children from this ?

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 27/01/2025 17:48

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 27/01/2025 17:47

I think it's advised that you keep your eyes open when near or in water.

Unless the ass is right up on your face you probably aren't going to see their asshole or vulva like people have said.

And if it is that close there are other issues that need sorting.

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 27/01/2025 17:47

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 27/01/2025 17:44

Then don't look.

I think it's advised that you keep your eyes open when near or in water.

Walkaround · 27/01/2025 17:46

If it’s generally considered repellent for a man to wear a thong in a public swimming pool, the same applies to a woman, imvho. It’s inappropriate, increases the woman’s risk of thrush, due to the female anatomy, and on most women and men is not aesthetically pleasing, because most people have flabby, ugly backsides, anyway. This might not put off people who see thongs as displays of sexual availability and welcome it for that reason, but it puts most other people off, tbh, because it’s mostly not a pretty sight.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 27/01/2025 17:44

onwardsup4 · 27/01/2025 13:37

Predatory men don't need to see your arse full stop though. No body needs to see your arse.

Then don't look.

tillyandmilly · 27/01/2025 17:42

How can they be comfortable with a cheese wire up your cheeks - I would feel baked wearing one of these!

CherryVanillaPie · 27/01/2025 17:40

I don't like wedgie leggings or swimwear.

SpeedyMcNobhead · 27/01/2025 17:38

They just scream “look at me” if you ask me.

Elissaisnotmyname · 27/01/2025 17:33

PurpleDiva22 · 27/01/2025 09:37

I highly doubt a man like this is going to be stopped by a woman's choice of clothes though.

Yes he was very persistent I think drink was also a factor in his behaviour

GooseberryBeret · 27/01/2025 17:12

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:34

In my view, and I understand others have different views.. these type of bikinis are grim. Grim in a public pool and grim on the beach.

As Ali said to his daughters… (I’m not religious but the point remains)..

An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing.

Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.

Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.

Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

Edited

On the one hand, we have women’s fashion shaped by the male gaze (thong bikinis showing the whole arse, primary school girls’ clothes being much skimpier than the equivalent for boys). This is “women’s bodies should be on display as public property” (or at least those who are young and shapely.

On the other hand we have this anecdote about what Ali allegedly said to his daughters which exemplifies the view of “women’s bodies are men’s private property”, akin to expensive jewels, and should be hidden away except from their husband.

During the Olympics a picture was doing the rounds of two women’s beach volleyball teams, one wearing skimpy bikinis clearly designed to be attractive to men, the other team with as much body coverage as possible (playing sport in a heatwave) to be ‘modest’. A pretty clear illustration of this.

VoodooRajin · 27/01/2025 16:43

MugsyBalonz · 27/01/2025 16:17

Perverts and paedos don't give a shit what you or anyone else is wearing and why is it women's duty?

I guess in terms of role models

MugsyBalonz · 27/01/2025 16:17

Yogaatsunrise · 27/01/2025 14:42

It’s just playing straight to the perverts and paedos. Women must understand they have a duty to protect the young.

Perverts and paedos don't give a shit what you or anyone else is wearing and why is it women's duty?

Wildbird12 · 27/01/2025 15:30

I don't like thong bikinis - they look awful. And my 10 and 11 year old boys don't know where to look🤣
As an aside - someone mentioned earlier about boys and girls clothing...girls is always tighter, and lighter in fabric. Boys is far more hard wearing and comfortable. Unfortunately kids are almost conditioned from a young age.

Preciousmoments18 · 27/01/2025 14:58

Designers need to take a good look at their moral ethics if they deem this swimwear to be suitable attire to be worn in front of children or any self respecting adult.

onwardsup4 · 27/01/2025 14:51

Naunet · 27/01/2025 13:25

I'm with you OP, I don't know why so many women feel the desire to show off their arse like a baboon looking to mate.

Haha yes but it's erm liberating and stuff

Yogaatsunrise · 27/01/2025 14:45

PinkTonic · 27/01/2025 14:30

We aren’t just talking about a bit of buttock skin though. It’s basically a completely bare bottom with a string disappearing into the crack. Any bending over or legs akimbo repositioning does show the genital area. Equally the front part of the thong is often cut very low and narrow, hardly covering adequately.

This is why I hate them - because my children and I were subjected to an entire rectum and anal passage view. It didn’t cover the vagina adequately and it was sickening actually. Way too much, and a violation in every conceivable way.

I have felt really strongly since then. I don’t know how I didn’t go over and insist she bloody covered up. Next time I will.

Yogaatsunrise · 27/01/2025 14:42

onwardsup4 · 27/01/2025 13:34

I was on holiday last year standing behind father and daughter in the que for the bar. She was approx 12 wearing a thong bikini I was pretty surprised. He didn't seem bothered at all. Thing is it's what is for sale in the shops a lot of it is thong bikinis, even for girls :/. To be fair it wasn't a cheese wire type thong that look awful on everyone but very high rise.
I was with my 13 year old daughter and there's no chance she'd be wearing one or want to.

It’s just playing straight to the perverts and paedos. Women must understand they have a duty to protect the young.

Shade17 · 27/01/2025 14:41

sjs42 · 27/01/2025 13:08

Full bum briefs have fabric to absorb bacteria that come out of your arse.

Not sure how much of a consideration this is in the pool, but anyway, I believe that's the idea.

Which is nonsense of course, plus men’s swim shorts don’t have any close covering so even if your statement were true that’s 50% of the pool users whose starfishes are getting a proper wash in the pool.

onwardsup4 · 27/01/2025 14:40

You think this might win the amount of time the word arse gets mentioned in a thread award? 😆

JudgeJ · 27/01/2025 14:35

ThriveIn2025 · 26/01/2025 16:44

Oh and I had to shush my son from saying “butt cheeks” repeatedly.

Teach him 'lard arse loudly!

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